HI Ladies,<P>I don't have your book but I have a prayer request for my unborn baby. I am very unexpectedly expecting our third child, over one year into successful recovery from H's affair. I would like to think God is blessing our recovery and celebrate, but for two things...<P>One, I have had 3 prior pregnancy losses (one at birth, two miscarriages), so we are understandably nervous for this pregnancy as well.<P>Two, my due date is on the birthdate of the child my H fathered by the XOW. This does not inspire any happy feelings.<P>Could you tell me what your book and this group focuses on??<BR>Thank you and God bless,<BR>a hopeful Jenny<BR>

Hi Jenny... Glad you made it to this area on the MB forums... Ive injoyed your input in other areas! We are doing alot of praying for each other, and I will surely add you to my list along with all of the other great women in this area.. <P>Our focus had been praying for our husbands and alot of praying for each other, useing the guidelines/chapters of the book "Power of a Praying Wife". When you do get the book you will discover that it is YOU that gets the Spiritual makeover essentially, but alot of bonus praise's will also occur!!!!<P>I for one am glad your here, I think Neen, you and I have the similar OC story.. Your certianly in my prayers from now on till your due date (you didn't give the date) on your new blessing from God... I will pray for you to find fellowship and comfort with us here too.. <P><P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

oh jenny, you can be sure that i will pray. dealing with the oc while pregnant is a tough spiritual and emotional battle. for me there were lots of feelings, sometimes out of control. <BR> keep in mind that your baby is part of God's plan, no matter what happens. just as i trust God with other parts of this whole mess, i trust Him in this area. and that old familiar verse rom.8:28 applies, "He works all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." He sees all the pieces of the puzzle, and KNOWS how they fit together. He is allowing and holding back----all in a controlled manner. and it is His will "to be conformed to the likeness of His Son". vs.29.

Miscarriages are hard to deal with, especially when we are in our situations, I also have dealt with 2 during our marriage, and the last one was during the weekend that OC was concieved...<P> This is something I have tried real hard not to think on too much for the resentment could end up monumental... So I have to realize that God is soveriegn and the loss is something that went through Gods veiw in my life as well as the OC's conception... <P><BR>Asking "Why" would be silly, I'll never on this earth be able to fathom the depth of Gods doings, so I try to just rest in His arms and know that in heaven my reunion will be with my little ones unknown to me will be a richness I have to look forward to...<P>If my exceptance of this can help you find comfort, then sharing something I have kept to myself is worth it...<P><P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

Thank you cozy and neen,<P>I appreciate your support. I expect to know at an ultrasound on Feb. 14 if this baby still has a heartbeat(ie no miscarriage expected) and is free of the birthdefect that killed my second baby. I'm due in September.<BR>My H is scheduled for a vasectomy. I do not want to face the pain of ending my childbearing with another loss, (and the OC to XOW). I think I spend so much time avoiding the possibility that my jaws hurt from the tension.<P>cozy, I am so sorry for the miscarriage/conception connection you described. OH GOLLY! We are so strong to survive such pain.<P>neen, were you pregnant during or after confession/finding out about OC? I was 8mo pregnant with our last baby when H confessed, and gosh that was hard.<P>I found the Praying Wife book at Amazon and will order that soon if I cannot get it locally. What other books have been a blessing to you??<BR>

8 mos!!! oh no, that sounds horrendous. you could read my history by clicking on the little glasses by my name on the top of this post. discovery in jan99, seperation, then we joyfully got back together 26 days later. i got pregnant in june, ow said we could adopt oc, then changed her mind, oc delivered healthy boy in july, i miscarried in sept...so i lost two: hers and mine. however on the day of the oc's birth, i found out that my h had not slept with her twice like he had maintained for 7 mos, it was a 4.5 yr. affair. i was devestated, but being pregnant felt i had no choice but to continue recovery and restoration. he remained repentant. i can honestly say that had i not been pregnant i would have kicked him out. after the miscarriage my heart turned, and i have been struggling ever since. the continuing realiztion of the depth of the deception began sinking in around november and it has been downhill since then.<BR> i believe God will hold me, i am submitted to Him, but feel really lousy most of the time. there has been wonderful restoration to the Lord in my husband's life and since 1/24/99 he has had no contact or withdrawal or anything, he has been trying to win my heart. but the continued lie (to prevent further hurt) blew me out of the water. that coupled with my mom's death and the miscarriage has left me....(2 cor.4:7-12)<BR>hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, struck down....but not crushed, not in despair, not abandoned, not destroyed. i am leaning hard on Him and clinging to Him. the final dna test is on jan.28, i'm scared and sick and disgusted.<BR> helpful books: kay arthur's Lord heal my hurts, Caring enough to forgive by Augsgurger, all books by Barbara Johnson...look at the thread "what do we do when we are really down?" for more ideas.<BR> thanks for listening.<BR>

neen,<BR>I'm sorry you have lost so much! Gosh, what a horrible blow to think you were adopting and pregnant and lost them both. Oh, the pain of it all! Do you have a counselor or sources of support in this?<BR> <BR>Thank you for the book suggestions. I will look into them!<P>One of the hardest things for me is that the XOW was a close friend, and she hid her pregnancy for 6 months, then let me think it was her H's for another 2 months, all the while babysitting, even housesitting for me, going to my ultrasound, coming over to share pizza and let our kids play, etc. It is an ugly betrayal. H has two daughters born the same month. Thank God for recovery...from Him that all Blessings flow