Good morning all. I hope today is going to be a better day. <P>Yesterday was terrible. My husband and I had a huge fight, he stayed out very late drinking with his beer buddies after work. He did call me at 7 PM to say he was still at their shop and would be home in a little bit. At 9:00 PM I called him to see when he would be home. He said he was leaving and would be home shortly. By 10:30 he still wasn't home; he was still at the shop drinking. It was almost 11:30 by the time he did get home. I couldn't control my tears any longer; when he came in the door and said he didn't mean to stay there so late, he was just talking to his friends having a few beers, I lost it. I told him I felt that he didn't care about my feelings, he had betrayed my trust that I had worked so hard to build back up, and he had hurt me very deeply. He got mad and started yelling at me, I yelled back. No I didn't call him any names or anything like that, but yelled at him that I couldn't take it any longer, he has crushed my heart and soul so many times that I can't take any more hurt. This just made him madder. I told him I was through, I couldn't take anymore hurt. He said some very mean, hurtful things to me. He has no remorse for the hurt he has caused me. One thing he said that really upset me what that he moved home because "it would be easier that way". He keep saying that there's nothing wrong with him having a few beers after work "to relax". I told him that if he was able to just have a couple, as in 2, and come home it wouldn't be a problem but he can't stop at 2, he has to drink until there's no more beer left or no one left to drink with. <P>I don't know why I let myself get sucked into arguing with him, I have done so well in the past 3 months keeping my mouth shut. I have let God down; I let him down, I let myself down. I can't stop crying. My H was so drunk last night that he was an hour late leaving for work this morning because he couldn't get out of bed. I hope he has a bad headache all day. <P>It is Satan attacking me, isn't it. Satan already has my husband in his pit, and he wants to drag me down with him. How can I fight this? I have been praying nonstop for our problems to be resolved ... they're getting worse. I feel like we are almost back to the point we were at last summer before we separated. <P>Lately my husband has refused to do our homework the pastor told us to do - talk to each other while holding hands for 15 minutes a day. He couldn't give me 15 minutes out of a day, but sure didn't have any problem giving his beer buddies 4 or 5 hours of his undivided attention. I guess that is what hurts me so much - I don't matter to him. I am a convenience to him. The last time we did our 15 minute talk (it was actually about 5 minutes) he could not tell me why he loved me, just told me he loved me for cooking his meals, doing his laundry, cleaning the house. He doesn't love ME, he loves what I DO FOR HIM. What kind of a marriage is that? <P>I hardly slept last night, I have not been able to stop crying since 10:00 last night. I wanted so very very much for our marriage to work out. I can't compete with an addiction. Spending his time off work drinking is my husband's #1 priority. I need to be his first priority - behind God. Right now, God does not even have a priority in my husband's life. His heart is so hardened that his betrayal to God does not even enter his mind. <P>What should I do now? I will always love my husband. It was my heart's desire to be his wife forever. I don't know if my husband wants to continue our marriage or not. He was ready to leave last night. I have prayed and prayed for God to give him a change of heart, to call him to Him, I've been praying for God to intervene in his life and reconcile our marriage. Why won't my husband listen to God's call? Maybe my husband never will be saved. <P>Please pray for me today and tomorrow. I have to get out of this despair I am in. We are supposed to go to counseling with the pastor at 2:30 PM tomorrow. Since we had this fight I know he will try to get out of going. I am so down, please help me to not give up!<BR>

AW,<BR>I am here...right beside you and I will be praying for you and your husband. I know that you know they are powerless over the alcohol. And in turn powerless over the things theysay and do under the influence. <P>Please don't give up on him and your marriage right now. It was only a minor setback. Today and tomorrow may be different. Give him the chance to see the pastor. <P>Know that others are here for you.<BR>Mitzi

Dry your eyes AW, God is still in control!! You are still a precious child and HE loves you very much!!! At times like this, this is where we have to rest, knowing that our God is the mighty creater of all things including us.... He will make 'All Things' work together for good....<P>Meditate on comforting scripture today.. Sing praises to Him who brings the peace that passes understanding and remember that God is in the presense of praise... Draw near to Him and he will draw near to you!<P>Bless you today as your wounds are ministered to, and by the God of Abraham restore you to a wholeness so that once again you can shine His light through you.. <P>Yes Satan found a foothold last night and put a stumbling block in you way.. Fight him also with scripture as Jesus did! You were afraid last night as your h drank and caused old insecurities to rise to the surface and the external result and response was anger on your part... Defuse it next time by hitting it in its first stage and use the scripture in 2 Tim 1:7 'God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of love and a sound mind'<P>Your human, we blow it, don't let Satan get another foothold by feeling guilty, but just confess your part to the Lord and let him be faithful to forgive you and bring you back into a rightness with him... Then tell Satan to go!!! He has no place in your life!!! You work on you and God today and everything else God will worry about..<P>Love ya, <P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

Its time for me to start fasting and staying in constant prayer. Please pray for me to be able to withstand the pain, and keep my eyes on the Lord. <P>Mitzi, thank you so much for being her and for your understanding. I know you know exactly how I feel. I should not have said a word to him last night. I knew better, but was weak. It's been SO HARD to look the other way and not say anything when my H deliberatly tries to ruin our marriage. The demon of addiction has his heart and soul. Please pray for this bond to be broken.<P>U2B, thank you so much for your encouragement. I've got to get ahold of myself before my husband comes home today. I've been sitting here in between reading posts on the Prayer Requests forum praying and reading my Bible. It's helped. I believe that God wants me to have happiness and joy in my life, and will give these to me. I have a CD that I've been listening to today, it is Russ Taff - We Will Stand. It has great praise songs on it, my favorite is Praise The Lord. The Chorus means so much to me: <P>Praise the Lord<BR>He can work through those who praise Him<BR>Praise the Lord <BR>For our God inhabits praise<BR>Praise the Lord<BR>For the chains that seem to bind you<BR>Serve only to remind you<BR>That they drop powerless behind you<BR>When you praise Him<P>Since I can't sing a lick, I just listen to this CD over and over. I'm going to wear it out today. <P>You hit the nail on the head when you said I was afraid and old insecurities rose to the surface. This is exactly what happened. All I could think about was how he left me home alone night after night, wondering where he was while he was getting drunk with the woman he had the affair with. And the lies, and lies and lies he told. <P>Thank you all for being here! I don't know what I would do without you to help me get through this, and your encouragement not to lose my faith. God will work this out. God will continue to speak to my husband's heart. And God will continue to work his miracles in my life and keep changing my heart into a kind, forgiving, loving, meek heart. Thank you God. <BR>

Dear AW,<BR>I pray the pain of last evening is lessening.(Remember, your husband DID stay last night, did NOT leave, and GOD WILLING, WILL sleep at home tonight!)<P>You are being lifted up in prayer right now!<BR>By sharing your pain you have opened the door for all of us to pray harder, and for God to work a miracle in your situation.<P>You(we)are still in the storm,AW,last evening affirmed that.........bless your heart, you did the best you could in those circumstances- I doubt I would have done better. It is OVER, and when he gets home from work you will begin anew,along with your(and our) prayer for Jesus to be present ahead of you in anything you say to your H.!Take comfort in being CONVINCED that God is taking you somewhere very good in this circumstance with your husband!<BR> <BR>We also know that He can zap/change our husband's hearts immediately, if He chose to!!!<BR>Again I say:WE ARE STILL IN THE STORM!!!HANG ON,HANG IN THERE!!!<BR>God is guiding you,AW, He is in FULL control!!!<BR>Trust in Him.......<BR>God CAN!<BR>I have candle lit for you, prayers going up, and love coming your way,IJN,<BR>Jn<BR>

AW,<P>Got on line about an hour ago and just as I finished reading your post and praying for you I needed to get off. So, I just wanted you to know I have been praying for you.<P>What I want to do is wrap my arms around you and tell you how much I understand the hurt and pain you are feeling. You are a human being too with needs and sometimes it just gets too difficult to face another challenge.<P>We all have different situations and at times yours seems beyond comprehension, but this I know for a fact, God is with you in this and will give you what you need to do His will.<P>It is time to regroup. Wash your tears away and climb up into God's arms. He will comfort you, He will strengthen you, He will tell you how much pleasure you bring to Him. You are a daughter He is proud of, you are His child and He is well pleased. <P>AW, God doesn't expect perfection out of you. He knows we all blow it! He just wants us to turn quickly to Him when it does happen. Don't give Satan a foothold. <P>Remember, there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus! And if you are feeling condemned you know who is doing it!<P>Father, encourage your child today. Make her to rejoice in the knowledge that she can do all things through You. Lift her up to the heavenlies today and make her experience your presence in a powerful way, one that cannot be denied. Help her to leave the events of last night at the cross and only anticipate what You will do today. Lord, we ask for a miracle of healing and restoration in this marriage. We also ask the the addiction that is troubling her husband would be destroyed. Bring it to an end Lord in whatever way is necessary. IJN<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

AW,<BR>tough night. It is so hard when they go and do what they want even though they know it hurts us. Get mad and then Get God. You're looking at it from inside the situation instead of from Jesus'point of view. It is a constant battle to stay in Jesus looking at the problem. It is so easy to get sucked right back in the middle of it. On another thread I think titled awesome Praise to Jesus, read it and download it for your reference. I got it off another internet file. I read it outloud a couple of times yesterday and it did wonders for keeping me where I need to be in Jesus. "fix your eyes on Jesus" Amen Hope the day is better for you. I'm praying for you.

Aw,<BR>Please dont give up. I'm praying for you. I wanted to share with you 7 years ago my husband had a bad problem with drinking very bad same as yours couldnt stop till their was no more. One day when I felt I had enough he looked at me and said I'm done drinking and he did stop. No one could believe it. He didnt touch a drop until his affair. Their is hope please dont give up. I'm praying for you. His drinking problem did go on pryor to his stopping about 15 yrs. Their is hope. God will help you.<BR>Carol

Aw, I am sure in no way (and I don’t think I am alone here) that God in no way shape or form thinks you let him down. God knows you are only human, And you didn’t let your H down it was the other way around.<BR>I pray for your pain to end and I pray for your marriage, and I pray God will give your H the strength to overcome this addiction that has such a hold on him.<BR>Lesa<BR>P.s. don’t forget to smile at your self at least once a day in the mirror I know it sounds funny but it dose help a bit.<P><BR>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com <p>[This message has been edited by LMS (edited January 22, 2000).]

You all are such treasures, you know that?!! Thank you to each of you for praying for me today. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. <P>I've been cleaning my house for the last couple of hours, with my almost worn out CD blaring Praise The Lord over and over. I'm feeling better, thanks to your prayers and encouragement. Thank you for letting me vent. I had to get it out somehow before I crumbled completely. I KNOW in the bottom of my heart our God wants our marriage to be healed, and He is hurting just as much as I am when my husband hurts me. <P>Would you please help me find the right words and scriptures to pray to remove Satan's influence from my life? What I've found so far is Matthew 16:23 "Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me, for thou savorest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men". Also is it appropriate for me to pray that God remove Satan's influence from my husband's life. <P>Praise God. He is so wonderful to each of us. I feel His presence with me today, as I reach out to Him. I will trust in Him, I will believe in Him, I will put all my Faith in Him, for He cares for me. <P>JN, thank you for praying for me. The pain is lessening, my husband will come home tonight (my son is with him today so I'm sure he will be back), and yes he did stay last night. I am thankful for all of these. JN, you are in my prayers too. I'm hanging in here, I'm not going to give up, I'm standing on God's Word to save my marriage, BECAUSE IT IS WORTH IT!<P>Taj, your words always help me so very much. I wish I had your Christian strength. I'm being sorely tested, and last night I failed my test. So, I must pick myself back up, brush the dirt off my knees, ask the Lord to forgive me, and try again. In yesterday's Daily Devotion, the verse was ""My brethern count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations."James 1.2. The message was about how we should feel good when we are in trials because it is proof of God's confidence in us. Terri went on to say "Somehow, it never dawns on us that neither God nor ourselves have failed. Indeed, we may be right in the center of Gods will when we are in the midst of the storm." The Lord must have sent this to me yesterday to prepare me for what was going to happen. I still screwed up though.<P>I had stopped crying until I read your prayer Taj. BUT these are prayers of joy! I praise God for you, you have been such a blessing to each of us. Thank you for being here.<P>hw - what are you doing on-line? Don't you have a coffee meeting to go to? Anyway thanks for your encouragement. Your faith is awesome. I'll read that post today, thanks. I've got to get a grip and stay focused on Jesus, you are right. I'm praying for you too - have been all morning. God Bless.<P>Brown, Thank you for your empathy; I have to remember that alcoholism is a disease, and my husband is afflicted with this disease. I've been praying for you and your husband Brown. I think your husband is close to a breakthrough. We've got to hold each other up and continue to praise our Lord for what he's done so far in each of our lives. Thank you Jesus for this amazing woman. Give her Your strength and wisdom today Lord. Please be with her and comfort her throughout her day. IJN, AMEN.<P>LMS - you've made me feel so much better, thank you. I appreciate your prayers so much. I will keep you in mine, Lesa. <P>Well, its amazing. I feel TREMENDOUSLY better now. Thank you God for being with me, and thank you, thank you, thank you to each and every one of you for praying with me. Today IS going to be a better day! <P>Love and {{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to each of you!!! <P>AW <P>

Aw,<BR>My prayer for you right now,is to have self control when H comes home!May the Holy Spirit help you,for self control is the fruit of the spirit!!<P>"Be self-controlled and alert.Your enemy, the devil,prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith."(1Peter5:8,9)<P>Satan is a strong oppositional force that does not want our marriages to succeed, because our success will glorify God! Satan hates the institution of marriage!<BR>Whew! This is what we are up against.<P>Use Acts10:38 against Satan and for the oppressed person, then pray that the oppressed person will use the Sword of the Spirit against Satan, too.<BR>"Jesus went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil."<P>Just lit a new candle for your evening of success!IJN,<BR>Jn<BR>

AW, <BR>From another site I downloaded an awesome prayer against spiritual attack. I have to make dinner now, but after that I will type it in a new post. Praise the Lord, He is Lord.

AW, here is the site for joining the internet group to pray for your spouse. <P> Millss@webtv.net (Billie Sue Mills) She is away for the weekend. But if you write you should hear from her on Monday. It works this way. They send out the prayer requests on Tuesday to all the members. Then on Wed we all fast and pray for each other. We also pray through the week for each other also. It has been an awesome experience. I've only done it two weeks but it has lifted me up lifting up everyone else. Hope this helps. If you don't get through let me know, Off to make dinner and then I will post the warfare prayer. God Bless!!