i like the update lists, i am still trying to keep everyone straight. thank you for praying.<P>Lord stregnthen and comfort my sisters here. and help us to find our satisfaction and completeness in YOU!!! (col.2:10)<P>my update: dna test for oc is this fri. i'm scared. am closed up in a little box. not doing well at all.

Ok... I need wisdom and guidance from God in a real bad way!!<P>I've been trying to get a little attention from H this last week because on Monday I start my catering contract, which will keep me away from home except for about 7-8 hours a day in which I will SLEEP...<P>Its been to no avail... The game on the puter is H's life this last week as he just aquired a "status" in the game that has been something he has been trying real hard for months to achieve...<P>This am I said, honey this is the last day I have to spend some time with you...what are your plans...Well, H was up all night and went to sleep at 7 this morning so I'll go to church with just the kids, so thats no shock, but gee, when he said he had an 'event' planed on-line tonight at 6pm I about died inside...<P>So.... then I said, this scares me dear, you treated me like this when your affair was going on... H started to say something then dropped it... (I waited) and eventually he said I havn't seen OC in 2 months...<BR>(me)I have no problem with you seeing oc.. Make arrangements to pick oc up from your moms on saturdays and spend some time with him....Tell OW to drop him off there...<BR>(h) I have no problem seeing OW, its you who does...<BR>(me) What do you expect for me to feel... I said if you and OC have visits by yourself I will stay out to make OW comfortable, but if she is involved I will be at your side...<P>END OF CONVERSATION.... H clamed up and went to sleep....<P>I am right to maintain this tough love position 'right?' I want much prayer and any input/insight here from you ladies... What a way to part for my contract... <P>There was no anger or raising of voices, just disagreement... I thought about asking H "WHY" have you got no problem with seeing OW? After 2 months are you so certian that nothing will ever happen again????<P>Im crushed, don't want my fears to turn into anger or to live with such uncertainties..<P>So here I am again like always, the weekends are worse because I know that weekdays OW works and she is available on weekends.. When will this cycle be broken? By monday or tuesday H will be looking for a little attention (his kind) and I won't be available. I am thinking I jumped the gun in his coming home, as H isn't interested at putting any effort that I can see into rebuilding. Lord what do I do (?) is my question for the week....<P><P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

This week is looking alot better then last. I was having a real pity-party most of the week. Stress was definately a factor but it ended up taking its toll because I eventually really blew my cool and did not show the fruit of the spirit.<P>I am praying through this book with several of my closest friends and I shared how I was feeling, specifically, lonely! I also shared my loss of self-control. We prayed the prayer in "His Wife" and believe me it struck home.<P>Yesterday I talked to my H calmly and told him I was feeling very alone, due to his overtime schedule as well as several committees that take up 2-3 evenings a week.<BR>Today it is as if he is a new man. He said I may not be able to change my work schedule but I sure can change the way I am when I am at home. Needless to say I have felt very loved today! He has gone out of his way to take me out to lunch after church, make me a nice toasy fire(it was -10 this morning), and just in general to be with me.<P>Lovebusters don't work! But the fruit of the spirit does! <P>Being alone is a trigger because I was so much during his affair. The devil likes to remind me of that and take away my peace. When will I ever learn that lesson?<P>Blessings, Taj<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

Hi. Doing pretty well here. <P>My husband has a session by himself with the counselor Tuesday evening. He is still in withdrawal and wants to just "pretend OW doesn't exist" and "What affair? I'd never do anything like that?" were his jokes at our last session. <P>As you know, a couple of weeks ago he admitted calling her extension at his old office after hours to hear her voice. Actually, he later said "I don't know why I did it, so I can't help you understand."<P>Please pray that he will gain insight and understand what drove him to the affair and especially that he "See things as God does". He still thinks that it was all simply a matter of chemistry, or fate, and that he would probably do the same thing again if he felt the same way about our marriage. (Not terribly comforting).<P>I still have lots of periods of anger against the OW and need prayer that I stay focused on rebuilding. We seem to be doing well overall. He told his brother on the phone that he thinks our marriage is 'better than it's ever been".<P>Thanks for praying.<P>lizzie<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

This week started out bad but ended good today!!<BR>As some of you may know, I was being harassed by the OW. She wants me and the boys completely gone out of H's life. Like that will ever happen!<BR>So until today things weren't looking very good.<BR>Then...H came out to see the kids today and we got to do some serious talking. He asked what I wanted out of all of this (the situation). I told him that I wanted my family back together. I also told him that I missed him and still loved him. He said he doesn't know why. I repeated that I thought our marriage deserved a chance. Needless to say he got teary eyed and hugged me. <P>No he's not coming home yet, but I've given him something to think about. He will have all week to think about what we need to do.<P>Please pray for God to show him the way home. Pray that God keeps me and the children in his thoughts and in his heart. And pray for me to be able to keep up with my Plan A and prayer. I've seen so much good happen since I got my book and started reading it.<P>Praise God!<BR>Mitzi<P>

Well, I had just about finished writing about the week when aol logged me off. Boy that makes me mad.<BR>I basically had a much better week. I have been praying so much. I thought at one point I might be hounding God, and then someone brought to my attention Luke 18:1-8 about the widow that won't give up going to the judge to ask for justice. So I have continued my praying. It is really changing me. I feel more confident and I see God working around me. It is amazing. I read something in a book today that said. "We must learn to trust Christ and his promises no matter how we feel, no matter what others say, and no matter how the circumstances look." Amen<P>Well I saw my husband yesterday. We talked for 3 hours. I talked about work and clients and he about a possible new job. We talked about psychology, therapy and changes in us. I stayed away from the kids and the topic of us. After two hours he got ansy and then said he might get out of the contract for the apartment. Apparently she was to move in in March but that is on hold. I know they thought that their relationship would take his depression away. He is on medication and it works well but he still gets down. He said he realizes that he will always be depressed.<BR>So I asked if we had anything to talk about. So we talked for another hour. He said he saw some changes in me and that I had given him something to think about. I know this doesn't mean anything, but it was nice to talk to him as a friend. He called tonight to talk about his thoughts about the possible new job. I work late tomorrow and he is going to pick up our daughter from a friend. He said I'll see you tomorrow. Oh yeah he said, I looked good. He also said yesterday's discussion was interesting. I said yes, I enjoyed it. He didn't respond but that's okay.<BR>I know that for it to work there is a lot of work ahead. Of course I have to see some changes in him first also. I also would expect him to end it this time totally with the ow. We are not at that point even. I suggested that he should stay where he is for a while and that we should date and just see how it evolves.<BR>I know that I am getting stronger and no matter what I will be all right. I did see God move this weekend and it was awesome. I can't see that we could have had a conversation like this even two weeks ago. I also saw my almost 16 year old daughter use better judgement this weekend something else I have been diligently praying for. God is there. And what an awesome God He is.<BR>I know many of you have been and still are in difficult places. Heck we all are. This has been going on for me for almost 5 years now. I just want to say keep praying and especially praying from POPW. I also posted two prayers on other posts here. One is a praise. (Awesome praise for Jesus) and the other a prayer against spiritual warfare to guard your family. I have been using them this week and they have really helped me to focus on praying for my family. Someone sent them to me so I take no credit for them but pass them on to my sisters in Christ. Be strong an take heart, God is sovereign and in control when we are out of control. I love you all and will continue praying. Have a blessed week.

Hi everyone,<P>I really need prayers as I am struggling with balances. Pastor says I need to set healthy boundaries and I having difficulty discerning what those are and how to set them within an honoring parameter. so many of you have been dealing with hurt for years and you hang in there and I feel like I am letting the Lord down, that He sees me as far more capable than I am. <P>Watched a Tommy Nelson video tonight on conflict and I cried because I feel so hurt and plain worn down. Seems like the only thing important is how my hubby feels. I am emotionally spent, want to crawl in a hole and just vegetate for awhile and recoup.

Last week was pretty good until Friday. Husband went on a drinking spree.... I lost it and we made a giant step backwards in our recovery (See my posts on Need Your Prayers it was a bad night). I am looking forward with faith that this week will be a better week.<P>When my husband came home Saturday after work, he was still angry. We talked for a while about what had happened the night before, and I think we were able to resolve the issue peacefully. I was calm, he was calm, we told each other how what the other did made us feel, and to make a long story short, agreed that we'd not let that happen again. We both apologized to each other and forgave each other. Sunday he was much happier, the day went well. He did manage to weasel his way out of going to counseling Sun. afternoon, but made me a solemn promise that he would go for sure next Sunday. He told me the time he'd go, etc. and was listening when I changed the appt. He said he would keep his word and will definitely go next Sunday. <P>I believe I know what triggered his drinking episode. His atty. called him Friday to talk about a counter offer to the prosecutor in order to avoid trial. He didn't tell me much of what they discussed, except that H would have to attend weekly spousal abuse counseling sessions for at least six months. He was NOT happy about this. The prosecutor wants to either sentence him to in-patient alcohol abuse treatment or jail. H is trying every avenue to work out something that will keep him out of jail, but still allow him to drink. Now is that not a sign of a true alcoholic, or what? <P>We need prayers this week, especially today, as my husband has to give his decision to the atty. today as to whether he'll accept prosecutor's offer, or go to trial tomorrow (Tuesday). I have been praying that the Lord keep complete control of this situation, and give the right words to say to my husband's atty. and the prosecutor. <P>Thank you all for your prayers this weekend. I know that because of our faithful prayers, there was a positive outcome to this situation. Prayer is so powerful, our God is so AWESOME. It is so true "with God nothing is impossible". Thank you God for all you have done for us this past weekend, for being with me during my trial, and picking me up and forgiving me when I failed the test. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to work on our marriage. Your love for us is astounding. My praises all go to You. AMEN.

First, and foremost, I want to praise the Lord for all the miracles He is working in our lives. Just four months ago, I was in the bottom of the pits. I didn't want to face another day. I could not make it through a day without tears and severe depression. My health was deteriorating. Now, the Lord has drawn me so close to Him, I can live each day in joy with the confidence of His promises to me. He has opened my eyes to my errors and blest me with His grace. In addition, He has touched my H. For the first time in our 15 years of marriage, I have seen my H read the Bible and daily devotionals and pray with me and for me. He had begun to bring pornographic materials into our home & after a short time of praying with you ladies, he told me to throw them away. And I did! God has removed them from our home. He has once again showed me his remorseful heart. Out of nowhere late Friday night, he began crying and telling me how hard it is for him to live with himself for what he did to me. He told me how I have showed him unconditional love through this and brought him closer to God. He was so open and emotional and I was able to comfort and tell him that we can put this behind us now. There was a time I did not truly believe he hurt over this or that I would ever be able to say "it's okay" - "let's move on". It always seemed he just forgot it ever happened & went about his daily life and I was constantly putting forth every effort I had to make this work. I got discouraged at times & wanted to lash out at him for not doing his part. But I let God work on his spirit first and "shut up and prayed". God is still working with us and we will continue to grow with Him. During our conversation late at night, he did tell me he was still struggling with forgiveness. He can't forgive himself, doesn't understand how God can forgive him, & doesn't deserve my forgiveness. So my prayers are in this area now. I know God has forgiven & so have I, but He sometimes leaves that "thorn in our side". Anyways, that is my update. A wonderful one in which I give all the glory to God and gratefulness to all you prayer warriors out there who have helped me. Not very many people know of my H's affair, but those who do are amazed at the grace God has given me to get through this. They say "I can't understand why you aren't angry at him, I would kick him out, I would be a basket case, etc." I can only try to explain to them that God has gotten me through this. Without Him, I would be a "basket case" so to speak. I take no credit for my disposition and strength in this matter. I hope there comes a day we can share this with others who are struggling to let them know there is hope in our Lord and Saviour. Right now we cannot bring this out in public, but I know the Lord will direct us if we can be of aid to someone else. Again, I thank you and will continue to pray for you all. Some of you have so many more difficulties in your lives but I am confident God will see you through. We need to pray for the Holy Spirit to reach our husbands. As they grow closer to God, we as couples grow closer. Please, everyone, keep the faith!! Blessings, J

NewDay,<P>What an awe-inspiring post! I have been praising God while reading it. Your words of confidence in what God has done and is doing are an encouragement to all of us. I have been praying for all the updates this morning but ended up just praising the Lord with yours. Thanks for sharing your huge steps forward.<P>I will continue to pray that your H will see God's forgiveness. I can totally understand for that is where my H is too. There is a scripture that says Godly sorrow leads to repentence but sorrow of the world leads to death(II Cor. 7:10). They need to see God's forgiveness in spirit and in truth.<P>Blessings, Taj<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

Praise God, NewDay!! That is so wonderful, and such an inspiring post. The power of prayer is so awesome.