If anyone can offer insight? What are the most common signs?

1. Change.<BR>2. Small children notice and resent the lack of attention as the betrayer mentally obsesses aboout the lover often.<BR>3. Deception becomes the daily routine.<BR>4. Frantic mental searches to excuse the selfish behavior in the betrayer's mind.<BR>

In my H's case, anyway, they included:<P>Staying out for hours without calling and without explanation, when that never happened before. Also was much harder to reach by phone at work, due to long lunch hours.<P>Inexplicable anger.<P>Accusing me of yelling at him almost whenever I said anything, no matter how innocent.<P>Suddenly had to work Saturdays a lot, but was never at his desk when I called him.<P>Sudden resentment directed at the dogs. Stopped petting them or letting them on his lap. (Ok, so this is probably not "typical" of betrayers, but it was certainly a behavior that stood out as really odd). He is much friendlier to the dogs now.<P>Withdrawal from the family. Came home and watched tv or played on the computer.<P>Started staying up really late.<BR>

i don't know...my H comes up with very believable excuses, for everything in his life. he claims to have a TERRIBLE memory. he LOVES to be 'the knight in shining armor'-to everyone, even animals. he makes people feel sorry for him often, usually regarding his 'poor health'. he claims to have low self-esteem.<P>there are probably a million other things...<P>------------------<BR>for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.<P><BR>

heres my list<BR>weight loss to improve his appearance<BR>suddenly starting dressing better, aftershave etc<BR>always had to work late/early you name it he wasnt home anymore<BR>carried his mobile phone with him everywhere<BR>started calling all women clients by endearing names (because he had more confidence and it was what he was calling her)<BR>always angry, always picking a fight, always picking on everything I said and did<BR>would no sooner come home but pick a fight so he could disappear again<BR>drinking a lot, and really feeling sorry for himself<BR>he also couldnt sleep well at night<BR>very little interest in the house, kids, dogs,family, any shared activities<BR>deadening SILENCE in the house, never conversed, no interest in my day or activites<BR>little interest in pursuing sex with me<BR>biggest giveaway of all......check your phonebills!!!!<BR>hope that helps<P>

In my case...<BR>H was angry about everything and everyone in his life. Short tempered and sarcastic. Could not explain his discontent.<P>Avoided family events and did not participate in daily home activities that he used to.<P>Yes, check the phone bills and the mail.<P>Maybe there is a credit card in his wallet you did now know he had.<P>Is there an additional post office box?<P>Did not go to bed at same time as I did.<P>I away from home more often.<P>

About the same, I guess...<P>Complete personality change.<BR>Angry, picked fights.<BR>Hated the animals.<BR>Late a lot.<BR>Sexual withdrawal.<BR>Little or no conversation.<BR>Started yelling at daughter (NEVER had)<BR>Need to "simplify" our lives.<BR>Exercising excessively (got to look good for the young girl, you know)<BR>changed hair, grew a beard, changed cologne, shaved the beard, grew a new beard.....<BR>I couldn't do anything right.<BR>Bought new clothes.<BR>Stopped cutting grass, working in the yard.<BR>Tired all the time -couldn't sleep<BR>Walking out of the room to talk w/ a "client"<BR>(didn't want to disturb you guys, couldn't hear, etc.)<BR>A lot of "lunch money" spent on taking potential clients and old friends out to lunch. <P>All seems about the same, doesn't it?<P>-Lori<BR>

Thanks, for that insight.