Hello all,<P>I haven't been around much on any of the forms. Posting has been difficult because the OW was here for quite a while(at infidelity). My fear is that she is still lurking. I don't enjoy the thought of her reading my innermost thoughts about what has happened. Anyway, I have been doing okay. It's been difficult with Arik(my H) gone away for work a lot. He has decided to change all his passwords to his emails(this happened after I confronted him about a secret email I discovered that he created for he and she to correspond). Trust is still such a big issue with us. He has never once proven my distrtrust of him to be wrong and yet he expects me to trust him again.<BR>Anyway...I have been using emails with some of the members to work through some issues within myself but sometimes feel like I have made huge steps backwards instead of forwards. Arik is still not even close to commiting to our marriage completely and it makes me feel so worthless and unloved when I think about it.<BR>Well I guess I should go. I know that this forum is not really the place for this type of post but I am pretty sure the OW doesn't lurk this far down. Thanks for listening gals.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole

Hi Nicole,<P>I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been going too smoothly for you and that Arik hasn't made a 100% committment to the marriage.<P>It's so hard to do a perfect Plan A when your spouse won't give up OW. You've got to be superhuman to not lovebust.<P>I absolutely hate when the OW spies (can I say that 'cause that's what I think happens) on the betrayed spouse, by coming to this forum.<P>Here's a suggestion, but don't know if it will work....how about Post under a new name and try to keep your anonymity (spelling?).<P>I don't have any good advice to give you so I hope other will chime in. Hang in there....

Remember your worth comes from God, not another human, even your Husband.<P>You can not control the Arik's thoughts, words and actions, but you can be assured that God will work everything out for the best...whatever that may be for you.<P>Remember your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, so take care of yourself and be open to God to meet your needs.<P><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

PL - I am so sorry to hear that things are not going as they should. Please don't give up, NoTrust is right, your worth comes from God. You deserve joy and love in your life, God will take care of you. <P>FHL, I so needed to hear the words of your post today. Thank you for reminding me that I only THINK I can control my husband's behavior, I can't. PTL<P>Love to you,<BR>AW<P>

i think changing your name is a good idea, so that you can be free to share.<P>i have kept you in my prayers, like taj said, hope in the Lord, not in Arik.<P><BR>