<BR>I'm in a pretty big slump right <BR>now. I've been praying, reading <BR>the book and Bible, and reading <BR>the posts here. I think I'm under <BR>attack right now because it seems <BR>like the more I try to turn to <BR>God, the more pain I feel. It's <BR>like someone is trying to keep me <BR>from feeling happiness. I've <BR>prayed almost non-stop today and <BR>still feel like I'm falling away. <BR>And I have things to be thankful <BR>for. I have 3 beautiful sons, a <BR>HUGE extended family, a few very <BR>close friends, a MIL who loves <BR>me, a grandmother who should not <BR>be alive because of medical <BR>reasons, a home, food, a car, and <BR>this forum, and last but <BR>certainly not least...I have a <BR>God who loves me.<P>Then why all the pain? I just <BR>can't seem to shake it. I feel <BR>like I am failing as a child of <BR>God. I know, this all sounds so <BR>pathetic. <P>Please say an extra prayer for me<BR>and my focus on my Lord. I'm<BR>really needing it right now.<P>Prayers,<BR>Mitzi

My dear Mitzi,<P>Jesus had eleven disciples who adored him, many people who came from long distances to get a glimpse of him or to touch his robe. He had a father in heaven that was love itself and yet, he cried at times, felt saddened by things around him and the stubborness of people's hearts. I'd say you were in good company!<P>We go through a grieving process. Being a christian doesn't mean that things will go well for us all the time and that we will be happy all the time either. Whether we like it or not, we still battle with the sin nature and Satan lurks for those moments when he might be able to dampen our Spirits. The bottom line though is that scripture says we are overcomers and the battle is already won. If Jesus could go off by himself and cry and pray, then I guess you can too! Remeber, we only need that mustard seed of faith and God will make it grow into a mighty tree! Praying for you right now!

The attacks must be going around. I had my share yesterday.... I'll pray for you all day today Mitzi. We have to keep our eyes on Jesus. We will overcome these attacks by the grace of God. We love you Mitzi, God loves you Mitzi, and your family loves you. <P>Dear Father in Heaven, please comfort your child Mitzi today, help her to overcome the attacks of the evil one. By the power given to us by You, we command Satan to depart from Mitzi, and cease the attacks. Please draw Mitzi close to you, send the Holy Spirit to her today to envelop her in Your love. Fill her heart with joy, help her keep her focus on You. We ask all in the name of Jesus, AMEN.

Well, it is morning here my tme and I hope you allowed yourself a good cry and told your father in heaven everything that you were feeling. I hope you could feel the comraderie with Jesus as He prayed in the garden, the anxiety He was feeling, the tears He cried and how He was so honest with His dad, free to say anything. And in the end, He felt peaceful, though things didn't go as He deisred but as the Father willed. How He could still love and repair the man's ear that was chopped off by the reactive Peter, how He endured the pain inflicted by the whip, the taunts and teasing by the soldiers and the jeering of the crowd, Isreal, His people, the ones brought out of Egypt, the ones the Father said were special, etc. etc. I hope you could identify His pain as He was nailed to the cross and endured such pain and humiliation that we might be free from the bondage of this earth. And just as on that third day, when the mourners came to prepare the body and found the tomb empty, I hope you have awoken refreshed, in awe of what He went through for you, of the oneness we have with Him, when we ask Him to be Lord of our life. Our joy comes in the morning, our hope is heavenward, the Spirit is our comforter and teacher and so many other things. In our desparation, we cry out to the Father and we lay our anxieties at His feet and He gives us peace beyond understanding. Jesus said in MT 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."<P>27 years years ago, 6 days afterI found out I was pregnant with my daughter, on Valentine's day, my husband brought me the candy and the I love you card before he went to work. He didn't come home from work and at 4 in the morning he caled me to tel me he wasn't ever coming home. Though I endured the humiliation of being without my husband during my pregnancy, without money and had to use the welfare system that I hated, I loved being pregnant and feeling that life grow within me, the awe of how God could design such a thing, such a miracle it is. I didn't know about such things as love busters back then or about alcoholism or codependency stuff. My journey lasted 15 years before my husband came back home and I had him for two years before he was killed in an auto accident. Sometimes I think the Lord allowed him to come back so that I could be released to love again for my husbnd was the love of my heart. The Lord has taught me so much more about love in the time since my husband's death. Even though I am experiencing new hard difficulties in this present marriage, I claim this verse from @Tim 1:12 That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day. I am praying for a deeper realization of how much you are loved today Regina.<BR>

oops, I meant Mitzi... You and Regina have been on my prayers lips today.

Good morning all!!<P>I am feeling better this morning. Thanks for being there with me in prayer.<P>I think I cried a river last night and it really helps. It helped to wash away all of the "poor me" feelings I was having. <P>One of my sons stayed with my parents last night, but me and the other 2 had a "slumber party" in the living room. We do this a lot anymore. It helps keep me from feeling so alone. And helps them feel loved. <P>The sun isn't shining here yet but at least it's not raining or sleeting anymore. I'm going to force myself to go outside and do something. I wish I was a kid again and could go play in the mud! <P>Thank you so much for all of the support I have found here. I know that God isn't punishing me and He wants my marriage to work. I know that in His time things will be ok. And I know that all of the trials I am going thru can only lead me closer to Him and make me stronger!<P>Prayers to all of you!<BR>Mitzi<BR>