Well, he cancelled on me. He won't meet with the pastor and I today. I told him that I can't do this anymore and that I felt I had to let go. <P>I am not as strong as some of you. It has only been a month. Some of you have been going through this for years. <P>I just don't understand him! I don't even know this person anymore!

Teddy Bear,<BR>Don't give in to this now! This is the hardest time, the first couple of months. We get strong through persevering! <P>Just think - Jesus was in the wilderness to be tempted to "give up" for 40 days! You go the 40 days, okay? <P>Do NOT Give up!!!! God is working, but there is someone else working too. So, you keep on praying!<P>TNT

Dear Father in Heaven, I pray that your Holy Spirit moves in Teddy Bear's life today, and her husband Bill's life. Please bring peace and comfort to Teddy Bear, show her how very much you love her. Give her the armor she needs to fight this battle with the enemy. Please send the Holy Spirit to convict her husband, fill his heart, soul and mind with loving thoughts of Teddy Bear and reconciliation. Please burden his heart to attend counseling with the Pastor. In Jesus Name I Pray, AMEN.

Teddy Bear I know exactly how you feel. It has only been four months for me and I feel like that every now and then. It is true that it does get better. I went several days before I finally just broke down. I felt like my soul opened up and I was drowning in the pain and sorrow. I became frightened because I couldn't hear the voice of the Lord anymore. Pray, Pray, Pray. And when you can't do anything else pray some more. When you feel at your lowest and as if he doesn't care or want to try pray some more. My biggest relief came when I laid down my burden and asked the Lord to carry me. I felt like I was walking on a cloud. I do get down sometimes and I call on Him. I also have a couple of people I can confide in. They allow me to vent, cry then they pray for and with me. If he won't go, go on your own. The enemy wants you to gove in. Don't do it! Our Father promised that if we believed as if it was it shall come to pass. Pray for a softening of your heart. Stand in the Gap for your man and remember it is not a warfare of flesh but of the spirit world.<P>Father I ask that you give Teddy Bear the comfort she needs. Hold her hand, guide her and carry her when she can no longer stand. Take up her burden Lord and fill her with piece. Hold her and let her know that you love her first and foremeost and you are here for her even in her darkest days. You dear Lord are more powerful that any mans desires or feelings and I pray that you will open up his heart. May he be surrounded by only those with the mind of Christ that he may learn you love and ways. In Jesus name amen.

Teddybear,<BR>As everyone says the first couple of months are the hardest, everytime I felt like giving up I prayed, I was on my knees more than my feet, God has carried me so much this yr. Without my faith in God I would have never made it. When you think you cant go anymore God shows you how to go a little farther. I was taking our daughter to school one day and I felt I was at the breaking point everyday I passed this church and on the yellow signs out front of the church. It said " God didn't give up on you and God doesnt want you to give up on anyone". It's hard but put your faith in God and he will give you the strength. Their are wonderful people here that also encourage you so well. I thank God for them. God doesn't give us anymore than we can handle and when we think we cant do it no more, God will show you how. Pray Pray Pray. We are to be happy in our trials and we need to know what God wants us to learn. Your in my prayers as with everyone else.

Dearest teddy bear, you may now be at a turning point. Make sure you turn in the right direction. It has only been four months for me and the pain of that first month or two is still very fresh in my soul. It is so hard, sister, I know. It wasn't until I felt I could do no more and go no further that I truly, truly gave it to God. Oh, yes, I had prayed before that but I did not truly surrendered all until I hit rock bottom. Things then began to change slowly for me. No, I never did get my H to a counselor but if you have read any of my posts you will know we have made miraculous strides in the past few months. God has made changes in both of us. But most importantly, I found myself having to seek God first, then waiting and watching my H seek the Lord before we could even attempt to restore our relationship. Now we are both working on our relationship with the Lord, ourselves, and our marriage. Praise the Lord for his blessings. Don't give up--give in. Give it to God, teddy bear. Concentrate on your relationship with the Lord and He will guide you. Pray for your H to respond to God's call to him but let God do the work. Stay out of his way and let him work in his time. And that ain't easy Remember His promises and believe and trust in Him. Hang in there! Blessings, J

Thank you for all your encouraging words. I have a post on the General Questions forum regarding my meeting with my pastor last night. It went really well! I finally have a sense of peace that this ISN'T because of me! My pastor helped me see that even though my H would like me to believe this is all my fault.<P>Anyway, thanks for your prayers! I promise not to LB, but I have decided for my emotional health I can't contact him. I will not pursue anymore! <P>I am letting go and letting God have this!