<BR>Could you all please read my post in the general questions forum? I would post a link but I don't really know how. It explains alot about me.<P>Thanks,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi,<P>Stay safe! Your safety is the most important thing at this point. God wouldn't expect you to stay with a man who abused you. Your H has got to change in many ways before you should ever consider living in the same house with him.<P>We have talked often on this forum about God's reason for giving a decree of divorce and that is for "hardness of heart". Sounds like your H doesn't even have a heart! Until his heart is softened to God he won't see the sin of abusing his wife.<P>You need to keep yourself in the center of God's will and let the Lord deal with your abusive husband. Again, protect yourself in any way you need to.<P>God Bless, Taj<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

Taj,<BR>Thank you so much! I've had alot of guilt about this decision and didn't know if I was making the right one.<P>I can't be with someone who treats me this way. I've done everything I can to make him happy but it was never enough. And it slowly got worse. And even now, even though he doesn't physically abuse me, he still does it verbally. Plus he's still trying to intimidate me. I will not let him.<P>I will continue to pray for him, that something happens to soften his heart but I cannot stop living because of this.<P>Prayers,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi,<P>I read your post, and was really disturbed. I don't believe anyone would advise you to stay in a relationship where your life and well being is in danger. I know being a believer can sometimes cloud this if we go the legalistic road and stand God doesn't want divorce. I'm not saying here that God wants us to divorce. But God is love and this man is not loving you. In fact he is physically and mentally hurting you. God does not want this in any way. Maybe leaving will be the only thing that will wake him up. Maybe with your loss God can reach this man. I know God is love and he even loves your husband, but he deplores what he has done to you. Only you know what God is telling you.<P>Father, You are in this situation and you are instructing Mitzie. Help her to discern your will for her clearly. I pray a hedge of protection around her during thie decision time. I pray you protect her mind and body. If she decides to go this may be a tough time for her husband, protect Mitzie completely. Allow her to find safety and show her how to avoid this in the future. Jesus your will be done.<P>Mitzie, I will keepo you in my prayers. Be safe above all else and stay in Jesus. Amen. hw

hw,<BR>Thank you for your prayers.<P>I'm really sure that this is what I need to do. He is still so angry and I don't know what else to do but pray for him, which I will. If he wanted to come home, there are so many things that will have to change and I honestly don't see it happening. I do still love him but I have to think about what all of this is doing to my kids. If a time comes when he is willing to get help, I would be one of his biggest supporters. Right now, though, it is up to God. <P>Prayers,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi, I am in tears right now, my hands are shaking, I just got the chance to read your post. What you've been through brought back bad memories. My H had done the same to me, for years. Alcohol is Satan's vehicle. <P>This verse has been going over and over in my mind while I think of you: /b]1 Cor 7:15 "but if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases".[/b] Let him go, let him file. I <B>know</B> every emotion you are feeling right now, because I have walked in your shoes. Calling the police on him was the best thing I had done for myself in years. It's such a relief knowing you don't have to guard every word you say, and don't have to walk on eggshells anymore. <P>Yes, I know how very much you love him. I know how very much it hurts. Mitzi, I'm going to tell you the same thing my therapist told me "you husband is <B>incapable</B> of loving you right now. Until he quits drinking, your marriage won't survive". Yes, I relented and let my H come home. In my case this was the right decision, the Lord has been right here with us through it all. My H hasn't been abusive since his return, I give all the glory for this to God. Don't stop praying for your H's salvation, Mitzi. God can work miracles in people's lives. But if you decide to let your marriage end, you have biblical grounds to do so (adultery and plus he is the unbeliever that left). God has a wonderful plan for you, and He will be with you and comfort you through it all. Keep seeking Him with all your heart Mitzi. He will answer your prayers. Listen for God's words to you. Ask Him to speak to your heart, and give you the right decision to make. <P>Dear Father in Heaven, I lift up Mitzi to you right now, please fill every empty space in her heart and soul with the Holy Spirit. Please place a hedge of thorns around her that the enemy cannot penetrate. Protect her physically, as well as her broken heart. Lord, please be right with Mitzi all the time, carrying her through the rough times. Pour out your love and blessings upon her. Help her to come even closer to you, wrap your arms around her and comfort her. Thank you Lord for this wonderful child. I praise you for protecting her through this trial. IJN AMEN.<P>If your H has filed for divorce, please be sure you have documented all instances of abuse. Give copies of all your documentation to your attorney. <P>

Dearest Mitzi: I was so saddened to read your post. I just wanted to give you a hug. I cannot even imagine what life must be like for you. I do know you must be safe, though, and keep your children safe. Trust God to protect you and lead you away from this man. This sounds like a situation where God would not want you to be hurt any longer. You have tried your best, now give it over to Christ. Remove yourself from him and let God take over. I will pray for you today. I am trying to fast and pray today. This is only my second time. But you will be in my prayers all day today. Take care and God bless you, Mitzi. J

MTAW,<BR>Maybe this is God's way of getting thru to Bob. I'm not going to rush out and file. If he has, then I will go ahead and go thru the motions. But I think he will fight me on some issues. I'm calling a lawyer today so I can get some things done to protect myself financially. This may be a wake up call for Bob. If not, then I have to go on. For myself and my kids.<P>New Day,<BR>Life is not like that for me anymore! And that is good. For 2 months I haven't had to worry about all of that. It's been so nice too. I think this is my way of giving it to God. Let him work on Bob. I always said it would take something drastic for Bob to quit drinking and maybe losing his family or almost losing his family will do it.<P>Thanks for the prayers,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi,<P>I need to clarify something I said in my post to you. It would seem that in my wording concerning divorce I could easily be misunderstood. I continue to feel you need to watch out for your safety but the divorce issue is one that we all need to understand clearly in light of God's word.<P>In Malachi2:16 God says, "I hate divorce". I think we all know that. <P>The verses I was referring to concerning hardness of heart are from Matthew 19. To clarify God gave permission for a certificate of divorce because of "hardness of heart". Jesus said in Matthew 5:31-32 that the only reason for divorce was unfaithfulness. <P>Also in the book of I Corinthians 7 it refers to an unbelieving spouse wanting to leave and letting them go. <P>I guess what all this means to me is that divorce is a last resort and only when adultery is involved. ICorinthians 7:27 says we are to remain in the calling which God has called us. If we are married then we are to the best of our ability remain married.<P>I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that divorce was a recommendation.....safety is my recommendation and let God work on your husbands hard heart.<P>I hope this clears up my rather vague original post.<P>Praying for you<BR>Blessings, Taj<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

Taj,<BR>I understood what you meant. There isn't a whole lot I can do about this though. I am trying to remain married but I can't. If I am served papers, I have to respond. I'm going to delay and try to give God the chance to work on my H. But I can only delay for so long on a no-fault divorce. When I took my vows, they meant something to me. <P>This isn't the path I would have chosen for my marriage. But if it takes me letting him go for him to be able to see some of God's love for Him I'm willing to do that. <P>Prayers,<BR>Mitzi