Thank you for your heartfelt msgs. I can't stay on this board because I am not rebuilding a marriage. Even though my H had the affair I feel that I have single handidly sp? screwed it up. I have let myself take a the guilt again and I feel terrible. I want him back so bad to keep our family together and also because even through all of this I still am in love with him. How I can be, I don't know and maybe that is where half the battle is within me. Thank you again and I hope all of you have a wonderful rebuilding experience with your spouses. I'm jealous.

Mental,<P>If you can't remain here then we all understand even though we would miss you. Don't remove us from your bookmarks just in case. I do think like another said on the your other post that there is support here that you could really use. Regardless of where you are in the recovery of your marriage.<P>One thought I have for you is that you could join the Women's Prayer Forum. You are right when you say that you can't make your husband come home. No matter what you do. God however can soften your husbands heart.<P>Have you gotten the book "the Power of a Praying Wife"? It is a pretty awesome book. <P>My other thought is that when you feel up to it maybe you can meander back here and start giving support and advise. Joyce Meyers mentions numerous times along with other teachers that helping others very often does more to help ourselves than anything else we can do.<P>You will be missed but as you know we will be here waiting for you if/when you return.<P>Prayers will be said for you.<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>