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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 63
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I Offline
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 63
This is long, but hope it brighten someone day and tomorrow.<P>Lord, thank You for helping me praise You in my most broken and angry moments. How can I forgive. Lord, when I am cut down and mistreated repeatedly? I know You say seventy times seven, but I don;t have it in my heart to do so. I again call upon You for help. Although I don't want to forgive, Lord, I ask You to change my heart.<BR>Little by little, I feel You peel away the layers of bitterness. Like a big smelly onion, my angry spirit is a sting and irritant to the souls around me and even to myself. This must hurt You too, Lord, to see me like this. I'm beginning to realize my unforgiveness separates me from You, Lord.<BR>How can I get over the pain and frustration? It has grown and festered into a huge spiritual and emotional boil. It eats away at me to the point that I feel physically ill. I don;t want to be like this, Lord. Although the process of Your working in me is as painful as lancing an infected boil, I pray for You to cleanse, forgive, and heal me.<BR>Thank You for helping me to back off so I can look at all these hurts with a better perspective. Evil has been manipulating not only my offenders, but me, too. Thank You for giving me the insight to pray for those who spitefully use me. Please help them to accept You as their Savior. I pray for them to be set free from wrongdoing so they, too, may experience Your joy-filled abundant life.<BR>Thank You for showing me how to love them with a love that comes from You, even when all is not right. I realize now I don't have to agree with them in order to forgive. I don't have to set myself up for them to continue to hurt me, nor do I need to unwisely trust them. But I must forgive, even if they aren't sorry or haven't changed.<BR>Thank you for teaching me to let go and turn it all over to You. Your wisdom will work in their lives.<BR>Thank You for helping me see where I have erred. You are teaching me to admit where I'm wrong, and if needed, to ask forgiveness. What if my apology is not accepted? Then I leave it in Your hands, Lord.<BR>You have showed me the answer is not whether all is resolved. The answer is for You to create a pure, clean heart in me. I must do right in Your eyes and leave the rest in Your hands. I must forgive as You have forgiven me. After all this, I trust and praise You for Your wisdom and love.<BR>If hurts return, I again take them to You and lay them at Your feet. You are my HEALER, REDEEMER, COUNSELOR, DEFENDER, and my SOURCE OF PEACE AND STRENGTH. <BR>Thank You, Lord. Praise be to You!<P>Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another.......even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Col 3:13.<P>ITS

Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,063
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,063
I liked this one very much and printed it out. I especially liked the reminder that I do not have to set myself up for continual hurt or to trust the untrusting. This is where healthy boundaries come in. I imagine that we will be separated fairly soon in the process of my seeking safety from verbal abuse that kills love. The ball will then be in my H's court. I find myself going through the grieving process at this thought and yet, I know that God doesn't want me to be treated this way. I am learning to own my behaviors and to apologize for avoidance or not speaking clearly to an issue. I am learning to state that I will not stay in the same room with someone who swears or yells at me and then following through if it continues. I am ready to go live on a rooftop rather than listening to constant nagging or being in the midst of discord. I am pursuing being a godly woman and realizing I am not responsible for how he perceives it. Honoring God needs to be my priority and though I am called to respect the position God has placed my husband in and I can feel pity for him in his rebellious state, I must honor the Father with my own mouth and words. I can forgive my husband for he has been blinded by the evil one, but I don't have to stay in the mire with him. The scriptures are so true about negativity dragging everyone down. Just as geese fly in a v formation so that the first one takes the stress and the others glide in the draft, I am resting in the Lord's protective shelter.<P>Thanks for putting this prayer up.

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 848
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Joined: Apr 1999
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In the South and Sue,<BR>Wow both of your posts really touched me. Sue I especially could relate. There was verbal abuse, subtle, but there non the less. He stopped that for the most part 5 years ago, but the on going affair is abuse in its self. Of course now that he has moved out it is my choice to hope. But I know my hope is not in a human it is God. I have to come to realise that I shy away from intimacy. I want it so much. The criticalness of the past from my husband makes it scary. However, I realize when I try to be transparent and reveal something deep about muself, my husband identifies with and therefore is critical because he takes it on as something about himself. I think this has to do with narcissistic personality. I have been doing a lot of reading for some research I am doing. I am apalled and yet, I now understand so much more about my husband. If we get back together the road will not be smooth and the intimacy I want to achieve will be a real dance of patience. But, I have a God who has said put Him in the middle of the marriage. Therefore, i have no choice but to trust Him until I hear different. He is a mighty God and can accomplish anything. Nothing is too big or impossible for God. I choose to step off the cliff and trust Him even in this. If He brings us back together then I know He will too be working on this issue in both of us.<BR>I'm not sure what this has to do with you're posts but his is what it provoked out of me. I too will copy off the prayer and tyour posts Sue. They touched me. Thank you.<P>Father, I lift us all up to you. You are God. "Be still and know that I am God." You command. Lord, I want to know more fully what that means. Thank you for changing me and giving me insight into myself through you o' Lord. I praise You for your Holiness and your majesty. I love you Lord. I lift us all up into your care. You show us so much about You, we just need to listen and to Be still and Know You are God. How awesome is Your love and Yourself! Amen


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