The forum is so quiet that it almost is spooky. Is Satan attacking everyone so hard that none of us can breathe, much less check in?<P>The weekend is the hardest for me, so please remember me in your prayers, specifically for my husband's mind and his emotions, that he take captive his thoughts and not allow himself to react to things from a purely emotional perspective, that he eliminate any suicidal ideations from his thoughts and mouth, that the verbal abuse ceases and that love overflows. That I may be forthright in my responses to him, gentle and loving, yet firm is placing limits on how I will be treated, for wisdom to know when safety is at risk and to be prepared to follow up with any consequences set.<P>Thanks,

Lord, I just ask you to bless Sue B, myself and all the other ladies on this forum. Lord, put a hedge of protection around them, and that no weapon formed against them would prosper. <P>Lord, I also lift my husband up, and all the husbands of the praying wives. Let them be convicted in their hearts, and help them to repent. Help them to see your kindness and your mercy, and surround our marriages with a hedge of protection.<P>In Jesus Name,<BR>Amen

Here's my Update:<P>Not a thing. Our first hearing is coming up April 14th. It will decide temporary support. <P>I am getting stronger. I have stopped contact with Bob thanks to some advice from a very wise lady here on the forum (Thanks Rootbeer! ) He was getting to be too verbally abusive and was upsetting me too much.<P>I ask for continued prayers for me and my children. Let God go before me in everything I do concerning my divorce. Also prayers for Bob to soften a little towards me and the kids so he will at least see them and be civil to me.<P>Prayers to everyone,<BR>Mitzi

Wknds can be killers around here too! I'm going to try real hard not to LB.<P>Monday at 2:30pm we will be seeing the counselor for the first time. Not the 1st time counseling just a new counselor. I am not getting my hopes up because all other sessions have been disappointments. I need to see some real changes in communication around this house. If you love someone you need to be able to share what is going on.<P>Wishful thinking I guess to hope that a person could bring us to that point after so many years.<P>So, please pray for us both.......I have an attitude that won't be helpful let alone hopeful.<P>Taj

i haven't come here because i have nothing nice to say. i am really down in the pit. or as psalm 69--drowning.<P>this week in court my h was ordered to pay $300 a month for the oc support, it will be reviewed on may 22, with more info....it may go up to 500.<P>so much pain in my heart, so much loss this year, so much loss. and i feel so very alone.<P>i have a lump on my thyroid that is either cancer or hashimoto's disease. in either case i will need lifelong medicine. with my luck i will get tired and fat.<P>i can't stand this man for no good present reason. he has been very "good" for 7 mos. but i wish i refused to let him back in 14 mos. ago. i'm doing all the right things for all the right reasons and i feel sooo very wrong. i know this feeling will pass. so i'm going to go read a good book.<P>Lord, you are the creator and the one who loves us and will never leave us. in the moments when it seems that you are gone, help us to stand our ground in faith. we know you haven't gone anywhere, and that you have your eye on us. and that you take great delight in us as we seek to follow you and obey your precepts. keep us from falling. strengthen us when our feeble arms hang down. and just as Joseph lasted all those years in the prison, and Job all that time while you rebuilt his family and riches---help us to be patient and WAIT for you and have faith in you and trust you.<BR> thank you Lord for your love and mercy and grace.<BR>amen

Neen, so glad to hear from you, how the others, brown? Rootbeer, you safe, Lor? etc, etc.....??????<P>Mitzi, glad you are safe. I know this is hard on you but you do not deserve to be pounded on. You and your children deserve so much more, your children especially need their mama!<P>"I said, "I will watch my ways<BR>and keep my tongue from sin;<BR>I will put a muzzle on my mouth<BR>as long as the wicked are in my presence."<BR>But when I was silent and still,<BR>not even saying anything good,<BR>my anguish increased.<BR>My heart grew hot within me,<BR>and as I meditated the fire burned;<BR>then I spoke with my tongue:<BR>"Show me, O LORD..."<P>Psalm 39:1-4<P>Father , do show us how to speak without sinning, how to share our hearts in such a way that responses to us are positive rather than negative. I know you do not want us to just stuff feelings, for that eats away inside. You gave us all these feelings, now please show us how to balance them, how to love as you love, how to respond as Jesus responded, for he was not always a meek lamb, but a mighty representative of all that is good. Guard our hearts this weekend, let our mouths honor you, let your peace reign over our households. I ask you in Jesus precious name, Amen.<BR>

Lord,<BR>A prayer, Lord for each one of these precious ladies, sisters in Christ. <P>Lord, I am so thankful you have joined us together in this fellowship. I deserve not even a second glance and yet, You meet me where I am and lift me up. Lord lift neen from the pit, wrap her in your loving arms and show her You are still there. Lord heal Brown. Keep Mitzi amd Sue, Lor and AW safe from harm from their husbands. Be in the room with Taj, her husband and the counselor on Monday. Go before them and prepare the way. For TNT, Lord, surround her with Your love and protect her from all harm. Lord, watch over cozy Lord I pray that you continue to bring she and her husband closer. For Pookie we praise you for bringing her husband home and I pray that you join them in intimacy with you, Lord.I pray for Joy, that you make the buisness with the house be taken care of smoothly. I pray for POGP that You reveal to her your plans for her marriage. For Bonnie help her husband along with the other wives here that live with alcoholics or substance abusers. Lord they suffer from such hurt. For CindyM show her how to set Godly boundaries as others have begun to do. God we worship such a great God. I am so very glad You are in my life and each ladies here. I cannot imagine what it would be like to endure this trial without You in the middle. Lord, You have taught me so much during this time. I praise Your ways because they amaze me. Lord, keep us all safe and put a hedge of protection around each woman as we go through the weekend. Lord, if I missed anyone forgive me, and watch over her according to her needs for You klnow that those are. Lord, You are with us. Praise be to God for His way is grace, truth and love. All power and praise to God and for His Son who died for us and bore our sin. Let me do the little I can and that is bow down and worship Thee. Increase each ladies faith, help their unbelief and show them the way to walk with You. Amen

thank you all so much.

Well, I have had another busy week at work, but praise God that I have a whole weekend off and my husband has been really nice this week.... I usually can tell by friday if OW/OC are going to be visiting for the weekend because he gets quiet, distant and the nice things said to me usually stop by fridays... He is still being sweet today!<P>also, he was ministered to by a radio station today and went to this website...<P> <A HREF="http://www.calvaryabq.org/gospel/comehome.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.calvaryabq.org/gospel/comehome.html</A> <P>check it out.... God is doing something! Its real weird for me to be the forbidden fruit, but maybe its bringing his heart around.... His grandma has never liked me, so I couldn't call him or visit... He has to make all the contact.... kinda bazaar isn't it.... Oh well, dating has been fun, and he is here on Wednesdays to watch the girls, and we have been getting along real well... I won't question, just pray.... I do need to know where the line is to be drawn concerning loving unconditionally or being enableing to his wrong behavior... I just need Gods wisdom in this...<P>I'm real confused as to what to except from him in the future concerning us... I have always in the back of my mind the 8 or nine times he has 'run off' for anywhere from 4 days to months... kinda makes one hesitant to think about going through it perhaps one more time.... Oh well, God needs to guide me here to... one step at a time as always... the lamp unto my feet....<P><BR>Dearest Lord, you see things different then we do, help us to have our spiritual eyes and ears open so that we know what you would have each of us to do... Our situations have many things in common, and many things differ, but you know them all, and you love each one of us and have only our best interests in mind.... Lord let us just rest in your loving arms, knowing that you are the author of our yesterdays, todays and tomarrows, there are no surprises to you, for your ARE in control... We praise you for what you are about to do in each on of our lives, thanking you in advance for the answers to our prayers, and waiting on you Lord as we dwell in your peace that passes all understanding.... Clear all the minds, calm all the emotions, heal all the bodies and let us be filled with the indwelling of your Holy Spirit and the ressurection power that will keep us doing the good work so that we may hear on one day soon.... Well done my good and faithful child.... AMEN <P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

Hi. <P>I have been really sick with a bout of asthma. I have only had two other episodes like this in my life, both during times of tremendous stress. <P>This time, I think I accidentally brought on the attack. I have been having some trouble with the pollen because Spring is fully here and our area is about 12 inches below where the rainfall level should be, so its dry and the air is really thick. <P>I made a nice romantic dinner Thursday night, beef bourgonionne. I forgot about the sulfites in the red wine. I used a whole bottle of dark burgundy and now I've been wheezing ever since. I think I'm going to log off and go get a breathing treatment. Thank heavens for a doc with Saturday hours!<P>Good news, tho. H. has been adorable, even did the dishes and swept the floor the other night. <P>We have destroyed all the copies of the incriminating paperwork on OW that was here in the house. I now have only a few things that I would need in case of a renewed affair. He gave what had been in his car to the former co-worker, a really great Christian guy who is praying about what God wants him to do with it. <P>Now there are just a few things (cards and emails he found) in our safe deposit box, in case the other other man (former boss and CFO of old company) threatens to attack him professionally.<P>We both feel like we are just starting a relationship, including the long talks and affection that usually accompany a new romance. <P>I have fairly regular bouts of anger and sadness, but he is good about not letting me bait him with swears and impossible questions ("How could you?"). If I'm sad, he just holds me while I cry.<P>I still am not positive that God is calling me to stay with him, but I'm beginning to think that he may now be my "ministry". I was called to ministry when I was 9 years old, but I never dreamt it would be like this! <P>Why couldn't God send me to Africa and have me live in trees and eat bugs? It would be easier than modeling Christ to your betrayer, that's for sure!<P>love to all, I'm starting to wheeze. Gotta go to the dr. quick.<P>lizzie<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

POGP, You brought a smile to my heart with your comments about Africa and bugs...how often do we fear exactly that when we relignquish our life to Christ, that He will need us to go off on some mission field that uses cow dung for cooking fires. I guess it goes back to the trust thing huh? I remember working in a mental institution as a candy striper and being so profoundly impacted by one 16 year old boy, clad in diapers and having his whole hand in his mouth. My heart just broke and I prayed that God would not give me a retarded child because I just knew I couldn't handle it...God, with His sense of humor and perfect plan for my life knew I could handle more than I though I could and gave me instead children with multiple emotional and psychiatric disorders, kids that were heading for institutions because no one wanted them. I KNOW that caring for a retarded child would have been easier! He showed me a lot about myself during that time and I believe prepared me for this husband and two step daughters. What a way to go though! <P>Father, we lift up Lizzie right now, that you calm and soothe her breathing passages, that you ease her body into relaxation so that the asthma attack causes no more trouble on this day. Help her to breathe in the sweetness of life that comes from you as our father, annoint her with the oil of joy that her name is listed in the book of life and that you care enough about her to chip off the dross in her journey to become the woman you would have her become. Let her rest in the shadow of your wings and feel the breeze of the gentle winds from the updraft fill her senses to the fullest. Thank you father that her husband has responded so sweetly during her illness. Strengthen him to continue to do so, to place her above himself, to trukly rcognize what a pearl of great value she is to him. Thank you that they are beginning again as a team, comrades in removing the obstacles of papers from within their house, that there is only room for you and love in it. Build this house in You father, IJN

Hi Everyone, <P>I've missed reading your posts here, but hopefully that means we are all working hard at our prayers and our marriages and children. I know I am, and so is my husband (Thank God).<P>Dear Lord, I pray that You protect all my sisters in Christ and give them more strength during these hard times, Keep showing them what it is you want done. Soften their husbands heart so that they may repent. Please Lord, watch over the children as well. They don't need to suffer as well.<P>Heavenly Father, please keep showing my me and my H the right road to recovery. Put your arms around us, and keep us away from sin. Help me be the wife You wish I am.<BR>In Jesus Name I pray. Amen!<P>Have a good weekend everyone. I'll check in on Tuesday, til then. Smile

Thanks so much for the beautiful prayer, SueB!<P>Dear Lord, please bless my sisters here this weekend. Please comfort those in difficulty, teach us what we need to become the women you want us to be, please give us 'the mind of Christ' as we make difficult decisions.<P>Thank you for your tender mercies,<P>AMEN<P>lizzie

Thanks for checking in on us. I need continued prayers to keep the positive thoughts in the battle with satan for my mind. I have been doing really well lately. However, my H & I were lying in bed the other night and it was perfect, we had just made love and I felt so very close to him, then all of a sudden the thoughts of him & her together like that popped in my mind and I just began to cry. Uncontrollably! He asked what was wrong & I told him and he just held me until I stopped. But it just seemed to come out of nowhere. Just when I think I have pushed the memories out, they show up. So continue to pray in the spiritual warfare for our minds. I know others of you struggle with this too. Prayer and hugs to you all, J

I am back online- H disconnected the <BR>computer on Friday, and then today, <BR>handed me the <BR>money to go buy webTV!SueB, you were <BR>onto something!---------Still getting <BR>used to it, and am going offline <BR>shortly.It is taking some time to get <BR>used to.Husband just hooked me up, and <BR>is now gone.He has Moved Out. This is <BR>like a bad dream that I can't wake up <BR>from because I am not sleeping. H tells <BR>me that "everything is going to be <BR>alright, that God will heal both of <BR>us"-that divorcing me is God's Will, <BR>that Jesus Christ wants him to be happy, <BR>and for me to know that he is doing what <BR>Jesus wants.H's last words to <BR>me......................................<BR>Thank you for remembering me in your <BR>above prayer hw,-the house is the <BR>biggest isue that I have to face <BR>immediately, otherwise the bank will <BR>take it.Well,I am going to close for <BR>now. This webTV thing takes alittle <BR>getting used to- I keep reaching for the <BR>mouse, and there is none- just a <BR>keyboard, and I don't know how to start <BR>a new paragraph.................MTAW,I <BR>hope and pray <BR>you are okay- I don't see a post from <BR>you here.Dear ladies, I thank God for <BR>you.....................I also can't <BR>seem to go back and add<BR>words to anything written at the <BR>beginning of my post...well, <BR>I'lleventually figure it out.Praising <BR>our Lord for His miracles,Oh God, thank <BR>you for loving <BR>us.IJN,Joy..............................<BR>P.S.NewDay (J), thank you for your <BR>loving support a few days back- Neen and<BR>Brown, it is good to hear from<BR>you---glad for the updates to lift you <BR>up in extra prayer.Trustntruth, and <BR>everyone,praying for <BR>you!------------------------------------<BR>"You have a wonderful future ahead of <BR>you.There is hope for you <BR>yet!Proverbs23:18 <BR>TLB..............................Well, I <BR>can't post this- there is routine work being <BR>done at this BB, so I'll have to try to <BR>post this later..

Joy Nicole<BR>I am so sorry that your husband has left though I am VERY glad that he paid for the webTV so we don't lose contact with you. <P>Father, we know that you hate divorce and that the evil one has twisted your design for this couple's life. Father, block all other voices except your from his mind, help him to hear clearly the plan you have for their life and bring clarity to the lies he has been listening to. Hold Joy Nicole tightly during this time, do a major miracle that she does not lose the house and that she will be able not only to smile at what comes her way but that she has a tremendous peace and comfort knowing that you are the one in control and not her husband. We know your plans will prevail. Thank you for caring about every aspect of our lives. IJN, AMEN

Joy,<BR>I don't know how you are experiencing this event, so I will not say I know how you feel. I can only say I know how I felt when my h left in mid Sept. It was devastating. I was going apple picking with my daughthter's Girl Scout Troop. This was a blessing and kept me occupied for the day. However, half way there I had to stop and get out of the car. I told everyone I had to check something. I felt like I was going to pass out the stress reaction was so severe. I remembered I had not eaten. I got out my lunch and ate a little and then was able to go on. <BR>I pray the house gets taken care of soon for your good. For your husband to say that Jesus wants this is blasphemous! Jesus would never, never tell someone to do something that is directly opposed to God's written word. Jesus could not even do this if He wanted. He can only do what the Father does. Humans change their minds and their word, and break their promices, God does not! It is your husband's own will and sin that is telling him this. Satan has him hog tied and is dragging him off. Pray hard to God for your husband's sake and that Jesus will forgive and root out the evil in your husband. <BR>For now make sure you are safe and do what you need to do for you. God is with you. Jesus and carrying you through these first hard weeks. He loves you and He will be faithful to you because He loves you and sees your anguish.<BR>Father, I weep tears for my sister JoyNicole as you are too. But you are also weeping tears for her husband who has been seduced by evil and is spreading blasphemous lies about Your Son. Father, I thank You for carrying Joy and surrounding her in Your love like a warm and safe blanket. I praise you for taking care of her need and the house mess. Lord, this is all in Your hands. If God is for us, who can be against us. Satan is already defeated. Jesus has won. Joy takes refuge in the victor. Let us all. Amen. God is Your husband now. He can take care of all Your needs.

Thank you, SueB-yes,I'm glad he paid for the webtv also, even thiugh he has left me with an overdue huge mortgage payment.I am trying to get a hold of my father to possibly help me out for the next few months while I get myself together and learn to live with this devastation of my dreams.Yes, I am so grateful to be able to come here- a lifeline for me.Such Godly women and incredible prayers. hw, yes I agree that what H said was blasphemous-it took a quick silent prayer to not react.At this point, I am my husband's adversary- no matter what I say is going to be scoffed at.His family have us divorced already. His mother just called and basicaly told me to forget him- to get on with my life-----ugh----- the whole conversation made me sick. <BR> You must know by now that I have not been able to have children,so, according to some, all the more reason to start a new life. Not that it would be easier if I had a child, but at least i would have someone to belong to and vice versa. I am alone now,with not even a child to take care of and love.<BR> But I know God has a plan.I even found this bible verse in Isaiah 54(TLB) "Sing,O childless woman! Break out into loud andjoyful song,Jeruselem, for she who was abandoned has more blessings now than she whose husband stayed! <BR>Enlarge your house, build on additions;spread out your home!For you will soon be bursting at the seams!"  It goes on to say in 54:4 "Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. The shame of your youth and the sorrows of your widowhood will be remembered <BR> no more, for your creator will be your "husband".The Lord of Hosts is his name;he is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth. For the Lord has called you back from your grief- a young wife abandoned by her husband. For a brief moment I abandoned you. But with great compassion I will gather you. In a moment of anger I turned my face a lttle while;but with everlasting love I will have pity on you, says the Lord, your Redeemer." <BR> I am grieving, but feel the filter of God's grace.I haven't been grieving as hard as I was a couple of months ago, and am so grateful to be past how I was back in July.It is still hard at church,<BR> because even though I'm there to worship Jesus, I still cry(quietly) most of the time.I am sometimes so fearful that I have to tell myself to breathe- I hold my breath without even realizing it.<BR>Oh, but listen, God is so good!<BR> In the middle of the night last night I awoke with pains in my chest- I<BR> thought,"Wow, I am really going to die of a broken heart!" I always remember hw's "Stay in Jesus', and I calmed myself right down after a few minutes(Well,HE calmed me down, I mean.) and realized that it must have been heartburn, but that has never happened like that before. It was so intense that I was dreaming about the pain before it actually woke me up.<BR>Liz, I hope your asthma is better. I had severe childhood asthma, but haven't had an attack for well over 20 years. If anything would bring a reoccurance, is the extreme stress that we are all living.It's all about "exhaling", and there are times when I am totally exhaled out- don't know how long I haven't taken a breath, and so I have to gasp deep to get air. I suppose I get so deep in thought and anxiety,that I forget to breathe, like I said earlier. <BR>MTAW, I believe we are all worried about you.Concerned as to where you are because you are always here answering all of our posts......Please write soon!!!<BR> <BR>Lord, thank you for giving us the desire to pray. We know that it is a gift from You. We pray that You will continue to give us this desire.Praising You that You are strengthening our faith and that You believe we have the power through You,to "deal with" and conquer what You allow to transpire in our lives.Father, <BR>not only are we Expecting great miracles, we are Accepting them,too!!!Hallelulia!In Jesus' Name, Amen. <BR>Love, Joy <BR>P.S. Forgive a lot(?)of misspelled words? H took the dictionary,and I don't know how to do the spell check on this yet. <BR>P.P.S. I forgot to pick up my study guide on friday- will pick it up tomorrow........is that still going to happen?

Newday, <P>That same post-lovemaking problem has happened to me a few times too. It hasn't happened in over a month now, tho, so I guess I'd say be patient with yourself, it will get better.<P>I have realized recently that although I cannot block all the emotional triggers from my life (i.e., avoiding lovemaking to prevent the possibility of an emotional episode), I can redirect the flood of emotion and grow from it. <P>Something profound that I read in one of Harley's books: "the best deterrent to a repeat affair is letting the betrayer feel the pain they have caused you". <P>I think that my sobs 'right after' have pierced my h's steel-plated heart in a way that lecturing or indignant comments could never do. <P>Think about it for a while...it may be a blessing that you can bear yourself and let him FEEL for you instead of being self-centered. At least, I've found it to be powerful in our situation. This wouldn't work if you tried to concoct it, but when it just happens on its own, it is a mighty means of getting to a heart that was cold to you for so long. <P>During the affair, they tell themselves that we don't care, we deserve to be ignored, we won't get hurt cause we'll never find out -- now along comes this profound 'truth': infidelity is a lifethreatening stab in the back to the betrayed. <P>For their healing and true repentance, this needs to sink deep into the recesses of their calloused conscience. Just my ten cents worth.<P>joynicole, do you by any chance know the other 'sulfite' foods I should avoid? When I can get this under control with steroids and the albuterol, I don't want to eat myself into this mess again.<P>bye for now,<BR>lizzie

Hi Liz, <BR>The most common sulfite(metabisulfite)is found in beer, wine(as you know)shrimp,and dried fruits-in particular apricots.Also, apparently, the practice of sprinkling sulfites to preserve the salads, fruits,etc., at salad bars has been banned- as you know they are used to prevent discoloration and bacterial growth in foods.Watch for MSG, and ask that MSG and metasulfite be left out of your food in restaurants. <BR>Make sure you are taking B6(50 milligrams), and also, B5 is the anti stress vitamin...)<BR>In a pinch(during an attack they say that a couple of strong cups of coffee can help(or hot cocoa or a couple of chocolate bars- hey, that's good news!) I guess I could go on and on, but I've probably told you more than you want to know- or then again you might have already known it!(Of course,you probably know about dairy products-- Do you know that milk was the only thing I remember having to avoid when I was a child- back then- in the 50's and 60's, I don't know how much they knew yet..) oh yeah, also your F,D, and C yellow #5food dyes, BHA and BHT,pork, red meat,smoke, tobacco,furry animals, aspirin, and also, watch your salt intake. I'll stop now!If you need to know any hearbal remedies,(like Lobelia, Mullein) let me know........the list goes on and on........ more foods, too..... <BR>God Bless!<BR> Jn