I can't stop crying. Pregnancy test was positive. H is happy. <P>Status of marriage: Together in body, not spirit. Our daughter still doesn't like him much, I am still in withdrawal. He is trying now, I think. <P>The Lord wants him to grow some more. H really is happy about this. Already thinking about how to pay $$ for the consequences of an infant in my life. Maybe I can get him to go to a marriage workshop? He is going to see me praying more than ever, and he better not make fun of me. <P>But I don't need the practice raising any more kids! I've already raised four to adulthood, the fifth is actually doing extremely well too. And I am going to become a grandmother in October! I'm way too old for this myself. <P>At least I won't be running out the door into the arms of another man any time soon. Is pregnancy an inoculation against adultery? <P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

It sounds like a miracle to me! God has a plan for you Karenna, and it looks like a baby is part of it. I understand how you must feel about having to start all over raising a baby. It would be hard for me also, since I have a 23 yr. old and a 14 yr. old, and am over 40 now. My H, on the other hand, would be thrilled. He loves little kids. <P>You and your family are in my prayers. The Lord will take care of you. All things work for the good for those who love the Lord. <P>Blessings,<BR>AW<P>

Kareena,<BR>My heart cries with you in regards to feeling like you already have raised your kids and done your bit to increase the world...I told Him the same thing when He told me to marry my husband, who has two daughters...they are 7-9, the same age as some of my grandchildren! The older one has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, a pain in the neck to deal with...rebellious, defiant, nasty mouth, strong-willed with a capital S, who beieves it is her job to tell the younger one what to do and to hand out physical punishment if the younger one doesn't respond favorably. My youngest son had the same dx. We went through hell and back together; he tried to kill me, he wore me to a frazzle, I was so happy when he finally turned of age and left home. So, of course I was the perfect mother for this child. I can see God's hand in the whole situation around me, from my step-daughters to my husband. Things I can do to serve, ( teach step-daughter, teach and support husband and bio-mom, a.) how to work with this kid, b.)how to set limits with this child and on and on.) There were days I was so angry with the Lord, but the freedom I have in Christ allows me to be totally myself to express feelings and to be nurtured and disciplined by Him. Okay...so there is my empathy for this new adventure that God is allowing in your life... <P>Now! In some ways, what an exciting time! You said:<BR>At least I won't be running out the door into the arms of another man any time soon. Is pregnancy an inoculation against adultery?<P>Honey, I can tell you with the experiences the Lord has allowed me to go through and knowing His sense of humor, it very well could be! You have grieved the loss of a previous marriage to a christian man, you have prayed for God to intervene in this marriage, you have found your mind wandering into areas that are not of the Lord in the midst of the chaos around you, you have wanted this man to grow up, etc, etc.... It is such a shock when the Lord answers our prayers in ways that we had not expected. Every ounce of us cries out "Yeah, but!" when His way is different to what we had imagined. <P>I felt like Jacob wrestling with the angel when he told me to marry my husband. I had been a widow for 6 years, last kid had just left home, things were coming around and I was beginning to stop and smell the roses around me. He made me aware that I had not relinguished the area of a man in my life and I was content for it to be just Him and me. He kept saying, "Do you trust me?" and I kept saying "Yeah, but..." and He would say again, "Do you trust me?" So here I am with a highly controlling, insecure husband who proclaims Christ and whose thoughts dwell on the dark side, who believes that my job is to make him happy and if I do not, then I don't love him, who believes that submission is an immediate response to the caveman "ugh" and that I am being rebellious for not jumping when he speaks. Wow! And this is good for me? <P>I have to put on His glasses, so to speak, and try to see things from His perspective, for He sees the whole picture and I only see a small part of it, being too close to the situation, things get kinda blurry. The Father is concerned about my husband and knows that I am a tenacious, steadfast taskmaster, who is able to see a goal and stick to the job until the goal is completed. He also knows that my weaknesses are to allow others to walk over me, in light of keeping the peace and to considering other more important than myself and He is teaching me how to set boundaries that certainly do no necessarily promote peace in the interim, but are necessary for the long run, and to value myself as a cherished daughter of the king. He is allowing me to serve Him by sharing the skills I learned in dealing with my son with not only my husband, who has been inconsistent in parenting and responding to her with anger and tyranny (much better father now) and with a bio-mom who first responded to me with rage and anger, emphatically letting me know that I was nothing in the children's lives (they may not call me mom)to now a partner in parenting, who listens to how I handle things and is becoming more consistent herself in parenting and feels supported by me and even in the last transfer after visitation hugged me and thanked me for loving her children! Man, God is so awesome!<P>We don't know what God plans for this gift he now has you carrying, but, in light of your husband's response and happiness over the situation and his agreement that he is ready to work on the marriage, I have a feeling that God is going to do a mighty work in the both of you. Finding contentment in whatever He brings our way is a major challenge. One of the things I had wished I could do over again was how I handled some situations with my children...now God has given me these girls to allow me opportunity to do things differently.<P>ISA 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,"<BR>declares the LORD.<P>Bottom line for me is that He is the only one who has been faithful to me, who never abandoned me, who was closer than a brother, who comforted me when I cried, who protected me when I was in danger, who has a plan for me better than anything I could ever imagine. I know that once I have thought it all through, that relinguishing to his will and learning what it is He desires for me to learn, I am blessed far more than I could ever imagine. <P>I told you previously that if God did allow this pregnancy, that He must really see something in you that is special and believes that you can carry out His plan. I am excited for you and in awe as well. He gives us community with one another for support, comfort, etc. I am anxious to see what He will be teaching me through your experiences.<P>Hugging you!

AW and SueB, <P>Thank you so much for your support and such a detailed response, Sue! I learn so much from everything you contribute. I'm getting over the shock now. Many fans are in my court, but this is going to be a big adventure. <P>Knowing how HF works, what I most fear is most likely my next trial! Does that mean months of bed rest? A special needs child? Don't think I'm ready for any of that. <P>I'm re-reading A Woman's Guide to Changing Her Man by Michele Weiner-Davis while waiting for POPW and BIM to show up. H is a fine challenge all by himself. Not to mention my own weaknesses. Saw om today and shared the news. We got a little emotional but he is very supportive of my marriage. I am just not sure it's fair to a child to insert one into the turmoil. The Lord's will will be done, but I am perfectly capable of defying it and running my own course without guidance to my own destruction. <P>Step-kids. When my ex married his new wife she was extremely jealous of me even though I had left him two years before, they had as much or more custody as I had, and I was always trying to be kind and helpful to both of them, never getting in their way. <P> We resolved her attitude a few years down the road when I was across the country from my home, visiting my kids in her home. I confronted her in her own kitchen, my back to the pantry wall, explaining that I respected her role as the step-mother to my children, we had to work together to give them our best parenting and she shouldn't try to pretend I never existed or that she wasn't involved in their lives. She blinked and admitted that we did need to work together for OUR children. Things have been great between us ever since. She was not able to reach my daughter much better than her father or myself, but she was a very good example of a righteous, charitable Christian woman and I could not have asked for more. <P>Daughter turned out fine after all! Like H says, "You make beautiful children, and they all turn out so well!" Not MY doing at all. They seem to come out as fairly well-defined souls, some are absolutely angelic, others just learning to love.<P>Good luck with those Kids! What fun. What an education! Bless you for the ministry you are doing with this family. <P>Love, Karenna<P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

Been there, done that!<P>I had my 6th last year on March 14th at 42 years of age and my oldest daughter had had me a grandson just 2 months earlier. <P>Yes U 2 Will Survive!!!! <P>I am very happy now with the whole thing, but I certainly did spend my days in tears when I first new for certain I was expecting again... Then I remembered Hannah in the old testament and how she felt about having a child and how "God Blessed her by allowing her to conceive"! Then I had to put straight into my mind, that my little Beth was a blessing from God and I better adjust my thinking... Oh it took some time, and a few talkings to myself, and from the Holy Spirit, I just couldn't figure it out, I found out the same week that I found out OW was expecting....hmmmm????? God allows things for a purpose, and I'll ask him some day about this Im sure, but know this, that baby WILL be a blessing, I have enjoyed this one so much more than I could ever have imagine!<P>Be of good cheer, God loves you and has your best interest in mind, even if you don't understand it!<P><P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy