Since we havn't done a background story on all of us since we started this in November, and there are so many new names joining us, I thought that getting some background along with our updates would make us feel more connected... I myself have to admit I loose track of where we came from and where we are!<P>So, here's mine...<P>Hi, Im Cozy, 43, mom of 6 ages from 1 to 26, H (he's only 30) and I have been married 10 years<BR>Our children from this marriage are 1, 7 and 9 years old, all girls<BR>Affair has lasted 5 years (3 other brief before this one)<BR>OW is 31 and OC was 1 in January a boy<BR>Discovery was about 2 years ago<BR>Separated at this point in time<BR>H is spending alot of time with me, OW is tired of it and I believe is soon to be out of the picture, wants to attend church and be right with God, H has to go across the border if he wants to see OC at this point, and I'm praying for major changes in H before God allows H to come home this time.<P>Yup, I want him home, I still have hope, but it is no longer in H, but in my Lord to change my H as He said.."I will perfect the work I began in you"!<P>My prayer was so effective last time that I am just going to adjust it to keep working for me.. <P><BR>I pray for my husbands repentance, that he would finally come to the end of himself in such a way that his pride would no longer keep him validating his infidelity, I pray that a Godly christian man would befriend my husband and begin to desciple in such a way that my husband once again walks in a fashion worthly of being a child of God. I also petition the Lord for a job for my husband so that H can begin to contribute to this family for the first time, and that the panic/anxiety attacks which have given H excuses for this incorrect behavior would come to an end..... I also pray that a continueing widening wedge of discord is pressed in between the ow and my husband, that all conversations and contact have a negative response between them, that the ow would find somewhere else (a single Christian man) to get her needs met and realize (unto repentance and salvation) what she has done. That the oc would somehow come to know Jesus as his savior down the path of his life and that he always has a male christian mentor in his life... That I can continue having Christs unconditional, unending love for my husband and that his heart is ever pulled back towards his wife and family to such a point that he cannot stand being away.. For me I also can maintain a sound mind, and that I see healing in all of the physical problems that seem to be ongoing and everchanging, that God would give me an abundant amount of energy and enthusiasm and not grow weary of doing what is good in my marriage, my family, my homeschooling and my job, that my children are protected from any negative problems because of this mess... Thank you Lord for listening to my prayer and petition, and I praise and thank you in advance for the wonderous answers that I will see.. In My precious Lord and Savior Jesus name.. AMEN<P><B>NEW UPDATE</B> my husband is in BC with OW and has been for about 4 weeks, he claims he has found forgivness, but I havn't seen any fruit of the repentance or confession, as he is still sitting in OW's home claiming he has no where to go....... No, I wont take him back for a 10th time 'on his word' I will set the following boundaries and watch to see committment, consistancy and devotion for an amount of time before I accept a start at reconciliation..... <P>1.Right with God.. find a good fellowship and stick with it...<P>2.Get a job and be independant.. I need to see that I would have a contributing husband and not a needy child.....<P>3.OW must have a finalization in his life with a 'no contact' situation fully in place and stick with it.....<P>Dear Jesus, please help me be firm in my boundaries, yet be clear in my desire for our marriage to once again soon start through reconciliation, growth, and renewing love. Lord let me have Your wisdom in this in order that I may communicate in love and know beyond all doubts when the time is right down the road to start rebuilding...... Jesus let this be a time of healing, and restoring during our time apart, for this family, my children and myself, and dear Lord restore my husband Jason to a rightness with you.. Let the OW come to an end of her desire for my husband and finalize things on her side once and for all........ I thank you for caring and the answer to our prayers...... IJN Amen.<P><I>thanks karenna for bringing this up again! Everyone edit/update and join in for tonights prayer time....</I><BR>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy<P>[This message has been edited by used2Bcozy (edited April 11, 2000).]<P>[This message has been edited by used2Bcozy (edited May 13, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by used2Bcozy (edited June 06, 2000).]

Good idea Cozy, might help if we had both together.<P>My background-<BR>I am 49, mother of 7 children, ages 21-33, (adopted 5) and 2 step-daughters, ages 7 & 9, married to this husband for 3.5 years following 6 years of widowhood. Issues in this marriage surround leadership/submission specific to my husband's desire to pursue nudism as a family lifestyle, to become active in the resorts, and for my lack of participation in his quest for sexual diversity which mirrors those things he found on porn sites, resulting in my being on the receiving end of pain for his pleasure. Husband is a rageaholic and probably somewhat manic, trusts his emotions more than his mind, vacillates between yelling, swearing and crying and stomping around here like a two year old, pouting because his main value in life in his happiness and if I loved him, then I would do all these things.Verbal and emotional abuse gets quite hard to cope with at times. Husband is obese, nearly 300 pounds and believes that it is my fault that we cannot do every position in the kama sutra. Husband believes he has received a vision from the Lord that I have been judged for my unsubmissiveness and will die within 2 years. He also expects immediate gratification and our finances are maxed out because of his lack of stewardship.<P>Though most of my prayers remain the same, I do want to praise Him for the small progress in communication these past two weeks. I am now printing of small sections of specific topics from the site and asking him to read them so we can discuss in relation to our marriage. I don't mention it again so it isn't a "nag" and he will days later, come up to me saying he read the article...it is getting a bit easier to stick with the issue at hand and not allow him to bring other topics up. I am getting better at saying "that is important and I would like to talk about it, but right now I would like to stick with this topic and not get side tracked..."<P>Continue to pray for a sound mind for my husband, that he will not controlled by emotions, that he is instructed in his sleep about God's ways for a husband to love his wife, that he take captive every thought and let go of pornographic pleasures, that he is able to love himself to take care of himself thus making it easier to love me, that he is able to see his behavior as destructive and given courage to deal with his emotional issues. That a Christian man will come along side of him to mentor him and to confront him in a loving way like Nathan did with David and for husband to be responsive. That he will continue to open his mouth and share what is in his heart in honoring ways without yelling.<P>That I am like pliable clay, willing to be molded as the Father desires.That I am able to be more honest and to lovingly state boundaries, to speak to the issues rather than avoid them, that I am able to determine consequences for behaviors and have the courage to stick to them. That I am able to be more empathetic verbally when he is in his stinkin thinkin mode which will put out the fire rather than fuel the fire within him. That I become more aware of the logs in my own eye and have the courage to correct them and the insight to do good and not harm towards my husband. <P>That I have wisdom about my job situations so that I do not assume more responsibility than the Lord wants me to. That He give my husband a desire to be a good steward of what the Lord gives him. Thanks ladies, I really appreciate it!<P><B>06/06-UPDATE</B><BR>I continue to covet prayers for wisdom in regards to the situation around here. That God makes my mustard seed of faith grow in those areas where I am weak, that He continues to give me a vision and a hope for building a marriage as He designed it. That He continues to change me and to help me to discern when to stand up for myself and when to not pursue. That I can be bold for Him in an honoring and respectful way. That I can understand Boundaries and be able to implement them with a loving conviction in spite of how they are received.<P>That my husband hears the Lord calling him, that he releases unrealistic expectations, that he give up childish things and search for men to mentor him in how a man is supposed to act as a servant/leader husband, that he releases his anger and learn contentment, that his spirit and mind are renewed daily and that he finds a joy and a peace that he has never known before.<P>Thanks for your prayers.<p>[This message has been edited by SueB (edited June 06, 2000).]

Great idea!<P>I am 47 and been married 23 years. We have two girls, 16 and 9. My husband was in the military for 20+ years and we have lived all over the country. We are now in NYC as we are civilians. H has known ow for 5 years. Affair began in full when we returned to States 4 yrs ago. Has had several other short ones which I only found out about 3 years ago. H has depression and has had all his life but it grew worse over the years and it was hard to know it was anything more than a part of him. The negative thinking and depression has colored his view of everything, himself, me, my oldest daughter, our marriage. Therapy is helping but it is a slow process. Medication helps also.<BR>I have a masters in special education and taught children with learning disabilities for many years. I have homeschooled my girls on occasion. H moved out in Sept as I began grad school. I am working on a masters in social work and want to go into the clinical side of social work. Eventually I want to go into private practice counseling. I accepted Jesus Christ 10 years ago. I love facilitating Bible Study groups. <BR>God has really been dealing with me through this whole crisis to really seek Him with all my heart and soul. To put Him first in my life. God said very plainly 5 years ago a few weeks before h met ow to "Put Him in the middle of my marriage" I didn't have a clue what that would mean or what was about to happen. I do believe God is in control of this although I admit I do get discouraged at times. But God always brings me back stronger in Him. H was saved 7 years ago. A very demanding job 6 years ago kept him too busy to pursue going to church or anything. He said he was trying to get closer to God when this all happened. It has held him captive since.<P>Lord, break the chains of evil that have their claws into Jack. Jesus find Jack and carry him back to you on Your shoulders. Put a Christian on every street corner, on the subway and in his job. Bring a man like Nathan to touch Jack's heart. Instruct him while he walks, rides the subway, and even as he sleeps. Light the fire of desire for Your word, and Jesus in his heart. Continue to sow seeds of discord between the ow and Jack. Increase Jack's uncomfortableness with his guilt and sin and help him to stop looking down but to look up to you Jesus for his help. Remove the ow completley from Jack's life. Remove Jack completely from ow's life. Confound and expose the ow. Let all their emails, phone conversations and time together be full of discord and angry words. Light the fire of desire in Jack's heart for Cindy the wife of his youth. Cause Jack to desire to return home to his wife and children. Cause him to think that that is possible. Cause Jack to have a new perception of his wife according to what You, Lord, want that to be. Help Jack to see that he has some control over his depression and all it's ramifications through a relationship with Christ. Lord, let Your Glory shine through the restoration of Jack's relationship with Christ and with his wife and family. Lord change Jack and help me to know that in many ways he will never change but that I release him to you to change him in ways I never expected. Work on this marriage and Jack in ways I could never imagine! For me Lord, continue to increase my desire to so know You. Increase my desire to want to want to know You. Help me not to criticize or speak badly of my husband. Let me build him up and encourage him. Let me seek Your face only and let praise continually come from my lips all day long. Increase my faith and help my unbelief today. Show me where I need to change Lord and tske me there. Lord I love you. Lord, bless these women on the POPW forum and grant them the desires of their hearts. Amen <P>Definately praying and fasting. I will begin my fast at sundown tonight and go until sundown tomorrow. I will be praying at 11:00 and will use this as a guide. Thanks for starting this cozy. All join us to pray if you can so our prayers and praise can be magnified unto the Lord!!! Or come and pray anytime!<P>PS: Please pray that Jack would choose to come to the concert with me if it is Gods will. Thanks so much for all your prayers everyday and also for this last weekend.<P>[This message has been edited by hw (edited April 04, 2000).]<P>[This message has been edited by hw (edited April 04, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by hw (edited April 04, 2000).]

Here goes:<P>I'm Liz, my husband called me his 'Pearl of Great Price' after separating for three weeks last summer.<P>I am 41, h. is 37. We have three boys, 8, 10, and 14. Affair with co-worker was 14 months long, Mar. 98 to May 99. Confession in August 99. Changed jobs for the marriage in November. Loves new job, he will almost say God blessed him for doing the right thing.<P>H. says affair was a combination of resentment of every responsibility in his life (MLC) and feeling like he had never really experienced other women (wild oats). <BR>He was only 23 when we married, I was his third girlfriend. <P>When he moved out the day after his confession, he spent three weeks at one of our ministers homes, a man who has been h.'s friend for many years.<P>We see a marriage counselor once a month now, we used to go every week. Lots of changes in both of us, lots of real honest communication. We both try hard to meet each other's needs. Physical relationship is good, though sometimes emotionally difficult. <BR>Lots of healing on my part; the "Learning to Forgive" workbook helped alot. Interestingly, I had no trouble forgiving him, yet harbor lots of resentment toward OW, who initiated the affair (he never would have risked asking her).<P>My prayer request now is that the lenten season will truly call my h. back to the Lord. He never stopped attending church, and even had 'liasons' on Holy days, so I am concerned about the hardness of his heart. <BR>He says he is thinking alot about spiritual things, trying to decide what he believes. He used to be a deacon, Bible study leader, small group shepherd and soloist. He says it was all works, and he never knew true 'faith'. I long to hear him pray for our marriage like he used to, holding hands as we get ready to sleep. He prays for our children as he tucks them in, and says that is easy, because God loves kids! <P>Lord, please call our husbands to a close relationship with you. Please speak to their hearts in this season of renewal and bring them to a place of accepting that they need a Savior. Please let them know that they have not gone so far away that you cannot reach them and bring them home to yourself.<P>Amen.<P>lizzie<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

Terrific Idea! here goes:<P>Hi, I'm Pookie, 37, mom of twins (boy/girl) 13 years old. H, 34 yrs old.<BR>Divorced from my first H when twins were 2 yrs. old - (marriage only lasted 4 yrs- first man I ever dated, married too young)<BR>Met H when children were 4 yrs. old. <BR>H and I have been married 7 years in July. (his first marriage - and ONLY one) <P>H felt confused back in Nov/Dec due to NON-communication betwn us. Negative attitude from me, and lost the "in-love" feeling. Made me "wake up and smell the roses" real fast! H and children LOVE each other sooo much -- They call him Daddy.<BR>Inlaws are WONDERFUL they are very supportive and bigtime Christians. Helped us praying and getting close the the Lord. <P>I took a good look at myself, and realized I had to make some changes if things were to be like they were before (and/or better)...Started praying for my H and our relationship, and his & my relationship with God. Found this forum, where I received so much support, good advice and learned from other people's posts. Put things I learned in HNHR, POPW to use! <P> H left only for 2 weeks, but distant in emotions for over 4-5 months. (felt like years). Husband came back on St. Patty's Day. To my surprise!!! [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] Have continued and will always continue to pray and have faith in our Lord. We talk, talk, and talk, hold hands, and do all the things we loved doing before (and then some)...<BR>Just bought a new puppy for the home! American Eskimo Spitz, 9 wks. He is our baby, since the twins are now 13. H says and has always said, that he doesn't want more children, that he LOVES twins as his own, AND we know that it is TRUE! He is a terrific father, and husband. <P>I Praise You Lord for all you have done for our family and other families in this forum and in the world. Thank You for opening my heart and letting me find You. Thank You for softening my H's heart and surronding him with Your love. For watching over our children and family as we learned from our mistakes. Thank You for being part of our lives again! <BR>I pray that You continue to hold us in Your arms and teach us Your will, that we always keep You in the center of our lives. That we realize that without You we are nothing. Lord please help us to not go astray and to be obedient to You! IJN, Amen.<P>OOOhhhh, sorry this became quite long. Didn't mean to.. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/blush.gif[/img]<BR>Pookie<BR>

Hi! I'm Mitzi. I'm almost 31 and my H is almost 33. We have been married for 10 1/2 years. His affair started last fall sometime. He moved out Dec.23rd to live with the OW. He was physically and verbally abusive the entire time we were married and is also an alcoholic. I still at times want him to come home but am not sure if it would be healthy for me or my sons. I was forced to file for divorce to get some financial support from him. (There is no legal separation in our state). our first hearing is April 14th. He hasn't had any contact with me or the boys in about a month. And hasn't seent the boys since Feb. 12th. He tries to blame me for all of the problems on our marriage but I just let it roll off. I know that I wasn't perfect but I didn't make him do any of this. <P>I ask you to pray for clarity in my thinking and peace for my children.<BR>I ask that the Lord go before me when I go to court and that He speaks to me as to whether I am doing the right thing or not. I get confused about that sometimes.<BR>I also ask for prayers for my H so that he understands that his children should be an important part of his life and that they need him.<BR>Also I ask that the Lord shows me the direction He wants me to take in life. I've been offered a job and feel like I should take and but I want to be sure.<P>Know that I pray for you all every day.<P>Mitzi

08/04/00: I'm 43, H is 42. My second marriage, 6+ years. We have a 6 year old daughter. (Children from first marriage to a good Christian man are 24, 23, 20 & almost 18.) <P>H has had terrible anger control problems but has recently learned to do much better. Each week has seen progress, although he denies it. I'd be gone in a heartbeat if it wasn't better each week and H knows this. My boundaries are getting better all the time. The main LBs we now contend with are his overexaggerated work ethic and daily drinking. He has not learned, nor does he care to learn, my love language or emotional needs.<P>My current profession is self-employed Family Law attorney. Went to law school after we had been together for a year. God had been telling me to do it for two years and I resisted hard never having had the desire to be a lawyer. I was a geologist at the time. H is a HS dropout construction worker but he still makes more $$ than me. Yes, he is a bit intimidated about what I could do to him legally. Thank the Lord.<P>I fell off the path of righteousness this year with a major wakeup call - an EA of my own. Have undertaken several new efforts to revive the marriage. This website has probably saved my soul, if not my marriage. (I don't believe that Lord can save us if we don't want to be saved, no matter how much we have professed His name in the past. I must continually work out my own salvation in fear and trembling, in and through the name of Jesus Christ.)<P>On 4/3/00 the pregnancy test came out positive. H finally started reading HNHN. (But has not touched it again since 4/4.) I told the Lord I don't need six children. He disagrees, or thinks that six of His children needed me.<P>4/17/00 H is again reading! We had our talk. He learned just how miserable this relationship has been for me and is having a hard time dealing with it. (His marriage is a 9.5 out of 10. Mine is a 2 out of 10.) For the first time he is discussing mutual needs, negotiation vs. fights, personal values and personality styles, etc. Finally, we can start to build. Both of us are sad and demoralized about how far there is to go. Maybe we can go to Retrouvaille.<P>6/6/00 H is doing great. He is very attentive, has totally given up pornography, is not LBing hardly at all. I am all done with withdrawal from the OM, I think. We are plannning a two week vacation next month that will give us some wonderful bonding time.<P><B>06/26/00</B> H is still getting better, with some slips. Okay, so do I. Had a rough week. My energy has been slipping and I was getting depressed. H still drinks too much. Every day. And hides it from me.<P>Dear Heavenly Father, <BR>I thank thee for all the support and blessings that thou hast bestowed upon me and my family. I thank thee for my precious children and friends. I thank thee for my strong husband who is responsible and supports us. Thank thee for giving us thy word to guide us. Thank thee for answering the prayers of the women in this group. Thank you for softening his heart and opening his mind to the needs of his family this week.<P>Bless my husband that he will feel thy Spirit when we pray, that he will desire to learn of thee and grow both spiritually and emotionally. Bless us both that we will be drawn together more strongly, that we will be able to share our feelings, thoughts and beliefs with each other. Open his ears and heart to the needs of his family. Open his heart to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit. Let his ears hear thy word and his mind understand the precious truths of the Gospel.<P>Please let the Holy Ghost fill our home with peace and love. Teach my husband what it means to be a true father. Bless him with a desire to associate with good people and to learn how to teach and persuade others with love rather than by force. Please place righteous men in his path who will show him by powerful example how to exercise godly leadership. Please place those Christian men in his workplace who will make a connection with his mind and heart, that he will be readied for the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. <P>Father, please remove H's fears and insecurities which block his growth and progress. Deliver him from evil. Remove his excuses for drinking alcohol. Give him the information he needs to want to overcome his addiction. Let him see that it is an addiction.<P>Help me to know how to better strengthen him and support him in his worthy desires and endeavors. Bless me with wisdom and courage to become the kind of wife thou knowest he truly needs.<P>Father, please help me to be a good example and a spiritual influence in my home. Help me to create a sanctuary from sin in our home that thy Spirit may abide with us unrestrained. <P>Father, forgive me for my failings. Protect my children from the follies of their parents. Please help me to become strong in my weaknesses, especially in the areas of honesty, openness and emotional neediness. Thank you for strengthing me in resisting evil and from turning many temptations aside that thou knowest I have little will to resist. Help me to seek and do thy will in all things. Help me to turn to thee first. Break me down in my rebellion to thy will. <P>Father, please fill my heart with thy pure love. Grant me the desire of the flesh for my husband that we may become one flesh. Please help me to serve my family better with my mind and strength.<P>Thy will be done.<P>In Jesus' Holy name, Amen<P><BR><B>August 4, 2000</B> In July we learned that the pregnancy will not be "successful" because the baby has Trisomy 18, usually not compatible with life. Another trial by fire. The Lord knows what He is doing, we will try to walk in His way.<p>[This message has been edited by Karenna (edited August 04, 2000).]

Here's my background and update:<P><B>Updated 4/17 - counseling session with Steve Harley at 6:00 AM CST Tuesday, the 18th. David has not been attending his court ordered counseling</B><BR>I'm 43, H David is 42, I have a daughter, 23 yrs. from first marriage, we have a son together who is 14. Been together over 17 years, married for 15. David is an alcoholic, has been since his late teens, has had more than one short term affair with another drinker, had longer term affair starting in Jan. 99, ended in Sept. 99. H ended contact with her via letter, I have forgiven him, and her. Her H divorced her over their affair, naming my H as co-respondent in their divorce. <P>H has also been physically, verbally, and mentally abusive. H is supposed to be in the Batterer's Intervention Program, but keeps "forgetting" to go to the sessions. We've had short term counseling with the pastor. <P>We are now in counseling with Steve Harley. H has had initial appt. with Steve, my appt. with Steve Harley is today at 1:00 CST. Please pray for me! Thanks. <P>We were separated throughout August and Sept. 99 due to an abusive incident where H went to jail, subsequently charged with assault. He was drunk at the time, in fact, has been drunk during each incident of abuse. H was in a drunken stupor from Sept. 98 through Sept. 99, many nights drinking until he passed out. Has had lots of blackouts. Since reconciliation, H has been trying to cut back on his drinking, but refuses to quit or admit that he has a problem with alcohol. <P>I don't drink. I have been a Christian since age 12, fell away from the flock during teen and twenties, re-dedicated in late 20's. Have been praying for H's salvation basically since I met him. H is not a Christian, but will say that he believes there is a God. <P>Current situation has <B>dramatically</B> improved since I read and started praying the prayers in POPW. This book has changed my life! H does not know I pray for him, but has gotten accustomed to me attending more church services than before. <P>Before separation, H hated me, told me repeatedly that he couldn't stand to be around me, hated to come home because I was there, etc. Now says he loves me, is in-love with me, wants to make our marriage work . Says he doesn't know what made him change his mind, but I know...... God spoke to his heart. <P>Last week was hard. We had a couple bad days with David exploding in anger at me. I told him how much I pray for him and planted seeds about his role in God's eyes as a husband. The Lord is telling me to stay with him, and wait upon Him. <P>My prayer this week is for David to continue counseling, for spirit-filled Christians to be placed in his path to minister to him, David's salvation and coming to know Christ as his Savior, thank the Lord for the restoration of our marriage, praises to Him for all the work He has done in David's heart, continued softening of David's heart and the Lord to fill David with a deep desire to be affectionate to me. <B>I pray that the Lord give David a deep sense of commitment to our marriage, and for David to see his wife in a new light, as the desire of his heart</B> I praise God and thank Him for bringing our marriage back together, and for enlightening me. I praise God for opening my eyes to the sin in my life, forgiving me, and turning me to the right path of His will. I praise God for continuing to make changes in me, converting me into the kind of wife and Christian He wants me to be. <B>I ask the Lord to please give me the Spirit of meekness, and fill my heart with forgiveness, understanding, and kindness</B> Thank you Lord.<P><BR>[This message has been edited by Alcoholic's Wife (edited April 11, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Alcoholic's Wife (edited April 17, 2000).]

Well, guess I am the oldest one in the bunch at 52.<P>Met my h in high school when I was 15. Fell in love and never looked at another. Yes, he truly is my childhood sweetheart. He is 55<P>We have 2 children 32 and 29. Three grandchildren. My 29 yr old son is in Seminary and studying to be a family counselor.<P>My h's betrayal lasted 11 1/2 yrs. Discovery was 40 months ago. He said he never loved her but was immediately caught in a trap. To confess to me would mean he would lose his family. So, basically he lived a double life for all those years.<P>My h never looked back after the OW revealed to me their affair. He sent her on her way and that was that.<P>Our struggle has been my learning to live with the betrayal. God gave me direction immediately that I was to forgive him and stay with him. That forgiveness I found was the easy part......living with all of the details has been my difficulty.<P>We just recently began counseling for help in finally putting this chapter of our lives away. I am very hopeful that soon we both will be able to not drag our history up at every turn.<P>My h has struggled with forgiving himself and learning anew to walk in the Spirit. He was a deacon during much of the affair and of course that holds alot of responsibility.<P>My prayer is that we will be able to put our past once and for all behind us and walk together in the center of God's will. That my h will be able to assume the position of spiritual head of the home and that one day soon we will be able to share this "age-long minute" with others who could gain insight and deliverance from God's miracle in our lives.<P>Our next counseling session is April 10th at 6pm....please pray for a spirit of openness and healing.<P>Blessings, Taj<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

I turned 44 in Dec. H is 43.<P>Married 10 years, together 13 total.The only marriage for both.<BR>We renewed our vows after five years of marriage and were baptized together.<P>No children, not for lack of trying though.Suffered two miscarriages,believed it to be God's will for no children.<BR>Even still, I struggle every month when my period comes.<BR> <BR>Now I don't have to wonder any more, because my h left home last Sat. He has been gone a little over a week. I am still in heavy grieving.<P>My counselor has advised no intimate relations until H agrees to want to save marriage and go to counseling with me. <BR>H dropped the bomb in July of '99 that he wanted a divorce, and he wanted to be honest with me that two and a half years earlier he had a one night fling with a woman whom he said made him feel appreciated.<P>Oh yes, another biggie---Two months before he told me he wanted a divorce, we were all set to adopt a newborn baby boy, but H changed his mind.All very devastating to me, but him wanting to end the marriage takes the cake. <P>He is in a midlife crisis, and wants his freedom. So he has moved into a place of his own(alone) but won't tell me where. I communicate with him via his cell phone(rare) and mostly e-mail.<P>The reason we were still together for the past eight months(according to him) has been to finish our home sell it, and then separate.<BR> I have been trying to save the marriage alone during this time.<P>But once I told my H that I was not ready emotionally to sell my home,he became angry and moved out leaving me with all the bills.<P>I am having a hard time facing reality but now realize that I will not be able to keep my home. My H is waiting for my call to agree to put it on the market if he helps pay the(high) mortgage. He only agreed to do this after I hired an attorney because I had no where else to turn.<P>A few years back,H had gone back to smoking pot after quitting for many years.<BR> This has affected his mind greatly, although he would be the last to admit this. He has other addictions, but I don't need to go into everything right now.....<BR>I do want to get on the prayer list for this evening and this week......... <P>Also,Hw and Aw, I still have to respond to your last posts in my "silly question?" post..........Not sure I can get to it tonight........<BR>I will be praying this evening at eleven, and also praying and fasting tomorrow.......<P>Dear Father, Who art in Heaven, I praise Your Holy Name,<P> I am praying for and praising You(In Your timing)for:<P>1)Opening H's eyes and heart to You.<BR> <BR>2)Placing the desire in h's heart to give our marriage a second chance,and restore feelings of being in love with his wife.<P>3)Instructing him while he sleeps and while he's awake too.<P>4)Believers to be placed in his path- the Christian bikers to not give up on him.<P>5)That none of us give up on our mates or our marriages.<P> We know we are praying in accordance to Your Will, Father, that you will get All the Glory, and I pray for patience while we, as SueB says, "expectantly with necks craned", await your blessing, your miracle, in Your perfect timing,and IJN,<BR>Amen.<P>Thanks for doing this Cozy.<P>Love and prayers in Christ,<BR>Joy<P>[This message has been edited by Joynicole (edited April 17, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Joynicole (edited April 17, 2000).]

Also praying to know God's Will for this house situation, for sure, and for God's guidance when I talk to h tomorrow about it.IJN

Oh yes,I wanted to clarify that what I meant by believing it was God's Will to not have children, I meant "through" me, as in a pregnancy. I knew I could love a baby even if I didn't give birth to it as in adoption.<BR>I don't think it's as easy for men.

Dear Cozy & Ladies, <BR>Just had a wonderful "pre-prayer" time with H. I asked him about his EN, and if I have been meeting them, and what else could i do to make sure I didn't leave any unmet. This brought him to asking me about the books I have been reading. <P>I took the oppty and jumped up and got the HNHN and POPW & the other Harley book. He asked if I could read to him a while (til 10:30 PM), he was so intrigued I read til 10:45 instead. And said we would read ch. 2 tomorrow. I pray that he continues being interested. He mentioned how great the book wsa so far, and how true it seems to be. I was stunned. <P>Dear Lord, I praise You for Your love and working on my H's heart. I know you continue working on his Faith. He seems to be getting closer to You again. He has been to church with us and doesn't complain when I pray, etc. I pray that we continue on the road to You oh Lord. That he see You as the center to our lives. <P>I pray for all my sisters and their lives, as Christians we know that we must do Your will, please give them strength to believe and trust in You even when things seem unbearable. Remind them that You will make things better, in Your time not Ours. Please put your arms around them and keep them safe from harm and above all don't let them stray for Your glory.<P>IJN Amen.<BR>Good night ladies, I will check in tomorrow.<BR>Love and trust in God.<BR>Pookie

Pookie, that is so wonderful. God has been blessing you and your H so much, and you certainly deserve it. It makes my heart feel so good to hear that your H is praying with you, and talking openly with you about his feelings. Praise God. Thank Him from the bottom of your heart Pookie, every morning, noon, and night, and in between! What a great blessing!<P>Love and prayers to you,<BR>AW

Well, ladies, I am really far behind but I still wanted to add my input since I enjoy getting to know you all through your background, too.<P>I am 41, my H is 40, and we have two children ages 8 & 10. I discovered the affair in Oct. 1999. I found a card professing his love to OW in his briefcase..arghhhhh. Took my totally by surprise. I was in shock. Confronted H that day. This was a woman he befriended at work 4 years ago who was having marriage problems and problems at work. She left the company. They stayed friends and had an affair. I don't know how long they were physicallly intimate. I don't know many details at all. We never went to counceling. During the 4 years, she divorced her H and then remarried...all while seeing my H. H ended the affair with a phone call the day after discovery. She has tried to contact him several times since then only by phone. As far as I know, there has been no contact at all for 3 months. He & I have been working through things together. I did see a councelor once but was not comfortable and didn't return. H did not want to go but would have gone if I insisted. We decided to put this in God's hands and go from there. We still may need counceling down the road, but I feel we are making good progress now. This whole ordeal has turned my life around. I live my life for the Lord now. My H is slowly making his way there too. My prayer is that he will continue in that direction and for the guidance and support of a good male Christian friend for him. The Lord has worked miracles in our lives. Made changes in both of us that I never dreamed of..only now I know all things are possible through Him so I can dream and expect the unexpected! I found this forum by chance and have been with the POPW since inception. It has been a strength to me. A place to vent when I need to vent, pray when I need to pray, cry when I need to cry, and share praises--mine and yours. Thank you for being here whenever I needed you. Now you know a little more about me too! Hugs & blessings, J

Hi my name is Mercy,<P>UPdate: Our recovery is coming along! I ask that you pray with me to have complete control over the no contact issue. H is going to give final notice on job and needs peace for that.<P>I have both study guide and book for bible study! Praise God for that!<P>I am 28 and a mother of 5. 10,8,6,5,4.<BR>H is 30. Been married 8 years, together 12.<P>I had the affairs(3 times with same man)<BR>Final d-day, January 12, 2000.<P>Husband used Plan A not knowing what it was! It came naturally..<P>I cut off all contact with a letter 1 week ago.<P>I give God all the credit for the healing taht has taken place over the last few weeks.<P><BR>My H and I started dating when I was 16, he was 19. He was catholic, I was a christian(non denominational). <P>I got pregnant at 17. He went off to college.<P>I got pregnant at 18. He was still in college.<P>I got pregant at 21,22,23. He got abusive.<P>I spent 8 years of our marriage abused. He sneared at the mear thought of God. I prayed and prayed for a miraculous deliverance of my H. We spent so many years in abuse the kids and I! Finally he found God, and gave his heart to the Lord.<P>He changed so much. He became the husband God had intended for me to have, and the father He intended my children to have.<P>Unfortuntly, about the time he gave his heart to god, I had an affair.<P>He spent two years praying for his wife. finally I came around. I did everything I could to destroy this marriage. God had better idea's!<P>So here we sit today, an old marriage is dead. A new one has begun. This time as God is head of household! We are beginning on a rock!<P>I ask God to guide me everyday in being the wife He wants me to be, and in guiding me in to being the mother HE wants me to be.<BR>I praise God for all He has done in our lives. The healing, the revealing, for the love and for my family.<P>My H has been saved for 2.5 years now, and is the spiritual head of the home like he is supposed to be. I do not know where I would be without such a good man.<P>"Nothing is impossible with God"<P> <P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by mercy (edited April 17, 2000).]

I edited my original post just a bit, and am bringing this back up to the top again...<P>We havn't got all the backgrounds yet, and I enjoyed getting to know you all a little more!<P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

Technical questions: <P>1) How do I edit my original post?<P>2) How do I get quotes from other posts and add them into my response so that they look like quotes?

To edit your post, click on the picture of the paper and pencil which is to the right of your name after the picture of the glasses.<P>To do a quote, highlight the words you want to quote, do CTRL C, click Post Reply, then in the body of your reply type a bracket [ then the word QUOTE and an close bracket ], do CTRL V to paste. At the end of your quote type a bracket [ then the word /QUOTE (be sure the forward slash is in front of QUOTE) and an close bracket ]. There are no spaces in between the brackets and the word quote. <BR>

Next week-if you are already on here, edit your prayer request, if new, tell us about yourself and add your requests so that we can pray through out the week and for those who are involved in the Tuesday night prayers can unite in prayer. Thanks!