Weekends are tough at my house and many of you are busy with your families and can't check in like you are able to during the week. Would you please remember my house as the Spirit prompts this weekend please. As you know my baby steps at setting limits and boundaries with the goal to also maintain respect and high regard to my husband while in his rages and or silent treatments, I really feel convicted that this behavior needs to be addressed tonight. <BR>From Sunday night until yesterday we had the silent treatment, then my guess is the hormones are in withdrawal or he figured out I do fine with silence and is now changing tactics. Today before I left for work, he is back to pawing, no tenderness or kind words, just the caveman mentality, so I figured he must want to get laid. <P>As I have prayed and meditated today while working, I know that this cannot be swept under the rug anymore, as though it never happened. I will be bringing up this issue tonight. In his mind, we resolve things by agreement, to his way of thinking...there is no room for agreeing to disagree, there is no respect for different opinions beyond his. I have been praying for boldness and for clarity of thought so that the issue cannot be waylaid. Please be in prayer with me this weekend. Thanks.

Hi there! I am usually around on weekends, its just the weekdays i am around less. I am a college student and do spend too much time here on the PC. <P>I will keep you in prayer. god bless.<P>Mercy

I'm praying for you too. Should be checking in several times this weekend. Be stern with kindness. Expect and require RESPECT. I'm sure you are wonderful with the tenderness and compassion. Seems that it is lost on your H however. <P>My book order seems to be in limbo. Ordered BIM and POPW and study guide last Saturday from Amazon.com but none have even been shipped out yet. Hoped to have them in three or four days as usual. Should have gone for a drive. . . <P>Tell us about the limits and boundaries you are practicing. All I do is silently draw a line in the sand and mentally dare him to cross it. So far he had never crossed one of those. Is it just a mental thing? or do you communicate your boundaries to H verbally?<P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

Hi Karenna,<P>I am practicing a couple of things. In the process of taking the log out of my own eye, I realized that I have a tendency to do two things, one, not be honest or speak to the issue at hand due to his rage jazz and two, in not saying anything, I more or less hope the issue will go away...sweep it under the rug. I know am aware that these two things are not honoring to God, my husband or even myself.<P>Now, I find that when the Spirit makes me aware that I have slipped into this behavior, I am practicing going back to him and apologizing for avoiding the issue and then quietly speaking to the issue, no matter how he responds to it. I am asking the Spirit to guard my tongue and keep me focused and not get sidetracked as Hubby likes to do. <P>I am becoming more focused on how I want to be treated as a person, an individual with a brain and viable thoughts, ideas and purpose, etc. and more than a piece of meat. As such, I am trying to speak to the issue when our disagreements occur because I have a different opinion than my husband. I am trying to convey that respect is due both of us in light of or in spite of our differences. <P>The initial thread for this prayer request occurred because last Sunday when I spoke to the issue and the ball fell back into his lap, he again raged, and then began the silent treatment, rudely glaring, stomping around here, shrugging away from me when I kissed him goodnight or goodbye, etc...until Thursday morning when I got a few polite sentences and this morning the behavior was gone as though it had never happened. <P>My brain says the man wants to get laid...which is funny since he imposed the no contact stuff all week. What the Spirit has been working on me today is that to ignore the behavior that has occurred this week is wrong. Our issues may never be resolved but the issue of respect for differences is important and I cannot allow this type of behavior to continue.<P>I did have the talk with him and as usual, his response was the rage garbage and the downward spiraling cycle we usually go down was happening again. I remembered the vertical communication thing and began praying for the Spirit to guard my mouth and to put in those words that I needed to say. I apologized for my behavior and restated my purpose in having the conversation. <P>According to him, he felt that the apology was the first heartfelt one in a long time. He became silent and perhaps I dropped the ball for there was no more communication about the issue, but I felt it was a good start more or less and I am praying for more opportunities to continue it this weekend. <P>I am praying that as I become more clear in stating my limits, etc. he will also become more clear in his desires, limits, issues, etc. I am no longer responding to the caveman "ugh" and if he cannot verbally communicate his desire for intimacy, then I guess that is a moment lost. <P>I am losing the ability to read minds and trying to second guess his needs, wants or desires, so that they are met before he anticipates them. I may be wrong here, but I think that is more honoring to him. How am I giving him the chance to lead if I am always one step ahead of him? (Rootbeer, hit a chord?)<P>Karenna, in your post about the car accident and how you just went ahead and took care of things, I can really relate. While I believe the Proverbs 31 woman was independent, I am also thinking that maybe we have gone to far in this thing and in some ways, maybe we have emasculated our husbands...have to pray about this more in finding the balance.<P>If we are to honor and respect our husbands, then we have to have something to honor and respect them for. If we are so independent, maybe they feel like they have no worth and aren't needed....and so in the chapter on self-image, we are contributing to the low self-esteem.<P>Taj, HW, what do you think? If we are so on top of things, (whether we want to call it control or not)are we giving them the impression that we don't need them? I am not making excuses here for my case. I know I need to set boundaries and will continue to do so. I was just thinking of the healthy opposite of that in terms of how I would like for us to relate and my possible part in sabotaging that.<P>Feedback ladies?

Sue B.<BR>Looks like we are both up late this Sat morning. Just got in from the Tina Turner/Lionel Richie concert. Great.<BR>I've been giving this last topic some consideration myself! As my husband did less and less I took over. He was gone alot and for long periods sometimes (military) so I pretty much took over running the house. He doesn't like chores so I stopped begging and did it all. Over the last few years more so with the depression it got where as our youngest daughter describes "all he does is eat sleep and watch tv." Now that he is on his own he has to do the laundry, keep track of his cleaning, pay bills and I know he feels good about that. He let me take it over but I also think that it caused him to not be involved in living (does this make sense). Anyhow if he ever comes home or rather when he comes home this will be an area where we must not slip into old habits. If something doesn't get done and it is his responsibility then it won't get done. I think they feel like less of a man. I agree with you.<P>I am praying for you and your boundary setting. It is challenging I know. Please pray for me. My h and I are having breakfast together but then tomorrow afternoon, since he has a business meeting in the town where ow lives on Monday, he is flying there Sat. Just when I thought we were making progress. On a good note maybe that means he will only see her 2 nights instead of her coming for a week. Who knows. I know God is still working although I got very discouraged last night after a discussion where he wasn't very nice. Didn't say anything too bad but it wasn't pleasant nonetheless. This morning he apoligized and then shared what was bothering him.<BR>Anyways I was talking to a friend from my Bible study today. She was telling me about her dating days with her new husband. Apparently they broke up a couple of times. She said God took him away until He could return him to her as a strong Christian man. God didn't want the relationship for them until He had dealt with them each separately. It helped to remind me that God said put Him in the middle of my marriage so I'm sure God doesn't want to restore this marriage until He has finsihed working on both of us. I guess it renewed my faith and perspective. I'm praying the bondage prayer and praying that God will be with us tomorrow at breakfast. <BR>Sue I'm praying you feel God by your side all weekend.<P>Father,<BR>What an awesome God You are. You are always with us and You never desert us. Thank You, Father. We sometimes loose our perspectives and get too caught up in our circumstances. You are there and You want nothing more than to restore our covenant marriages. Lord, continue to keep at our husbands and let them come to the ends of themselves and return or turn to You. Lord, help us to be examples and let the blinders be lifted from our husband's spiritual eyes, and let them see You in us. Lord draw them to You. Father be with Sue and help her to know the appropriate boundaries that You are setting with her. Give her confidence, strenth and hope in You. Lord. We love you are are soooo thankful that You called us to You. Thank You Lord. Amen.<P>

Did he go to the concert with you?<P>Thanks for the feedback? I am thinking that God is trying to do a work in both of us. It was interesting tonight as I told him about the spiritual gifts link that Mercy had put up and he wanted to do it. The points for the "leader" gift was a low 4. I don't think he knows how to be a leader and so his wild attempts at such come across as tyrant and dictator. Have to pray more for him in this area I think.<P>Well, it is 2AM on the east coast, so should call it a night.<P>Father, I just praise You for the love You have for us, for the consistency and faithfulness You provide, for never abandoning us and for always being willing to help when we call. Teach us to call You more often Father, teach us to listen to the quiet whispers of the Spirit and help us to be obedient to Your will. <P>Father, go before Cindy and her husband tomorrow morning and prepare the way for their time of communing together. Be in their midst Lord, let their conversation be seasoned with Your salt, Father, let the time be so special that it weighs on Jack the whole time he is away from her. <P>Weave memories of her throughout his mind, turn each thought of the OW away with three more of Cindy. Make her the yeast of his thoughts that doubles and rises throughout his entire being, creating a hunger for her. <P>Like the senses can crave the taste of a slice of warm home made bread with real butter, let all of his senses linger on his wife, the smell of her perfume, the lilt of her voice, sight of her smile and the love in her eyes as she gazes at him. Let him remember and yearn for her touch, the softness of her lips, the way her hair feels to his fingertips. <P>Let there be no joy in his heart while he is away from his wife other than the sweet memories of her. Give him a desire to hurry home. Work in him to become the man You would have him be so that when they are restored, each would feel Your presence in their marriage.<P>We praise You and thank You. You are our hope and our song! IJN, Amen.

Sue,<BR>Thanks for the beautiful prayer!<BR>No, he did not go with me. That's why we're having breakfast. I did ask him and after 4 days he said he was ambivilent about going, but could we have breakfast instead? So I agreed. I think I had more fun with my friend. There were several love songs between Lionel and Tina and I think it would have been even harder to sit through these if he had been there. I hadn't of thought of that before I went. Do you ever watch ER> The nurse who had aids left last year. I had forgotten she left to be a singer and is one of Tina Turner's backup singers and dancers. She was good too.<P>Well, here goes this morning. I am taking a shower and spending good time with God before we meet. Thanks again for your prayer. <BR>How are you doing this morning.?<BR>I remember weekends use to be sooo hard also back a year or more ago. I would call monday "Monday Meltdown Day" Since I heald myself together all weekend, Monday would be such a relief that I would often really have a hard time. Especially 2 years ago, the year I homeschooled both girls in a small apartment.<BR>Have a great day in the Lord, and know I am praying for you Sue and everyone else today.

I'll be checking in all weekend too SueB, and will most definititely be praying for you and your H. <BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>in not saying anything, I more or less hope the issue will go away...sweep it under the rug<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I have a real problem with this too, although I thought I was being respectful by not saying anything to H about how his behavior makes me feel, for fear that he would get angry, yell, or go out and have another affair. One thing he did say last night was "maybe you shouldn't keep things all bottled up inside" to which I replied that I am afraid to say anything because I don't want to make him mad. He got mad anyway. <P>I think you may be right about the independence thing. I have always been the caretaker. If, for instance, my car breaks down, I call the repair shop and not my H. Been a few times I took it in for repairs, found someone else to take me to rent a car, and paid the bill myself, and didn't ask H for help, nor say anything about it until he noticed the rent car. I get yelled at either way, 1) for not telling him about it or asking for him to help me take care of the problem, 2) in the past I've asked him to help, the answer was always "can't you get so and so to help you" or "I don't have time for that". If it was anyone else but me he would be at their side helping in a flash. Once my car started smoking from the steering column. I called him in a panic, not knowing what to do. He screamed at me, calling me and my car obscenities so I hung up on him. Maybe my independence makes him feel inferior, but when I do try to depend on him, he always lets me down. <P>And yes, you hit a chord about always trying to second guess his needs. The thing is, he gets angry if I don't take care of things without asking about it first. I get so frustrated sometimes. He thinks I'm supposed to read his mind, knowing what he wants done ahead of time, but then at times he gets angry at me for doing things independently. I never know what to expect.<P>Lord, I pray that you will be with SueB this weekend, going before her in each and every contact she has with her husband. Lord, please soften her husband's heart, calling him back to you. I pray the Holy Spirit fills his heart, mind and soul, placing a protective hedge around SueB and her H so that in no way can the enemy's attacks get to them. Father, please show SueB the boundaries You want her to set, and help her stand by these boundaries. Give her Father your wisdom, leading her in every thought, word and action. Thank you Lord for your guidance. I praise You Lord for working in this marriage. We wait in faith upon You Lord. IJN AMEN<P><BR>

<hr>"He thinks I'm supposed to read his mind, knowing what he wants done ahead of time, but then at times he gets angry at me for doing things independently. I never know what to expect."<hr><P>Exactly, and what I am sensing from the Lord about this is that I need to stop enabling and second guessing and let him stew and deal with his own feelngs and expectations. His anger is his resposibility not mine. My responsibility is to consider the possible outcomes and decide how I want to respond to them,in regards to giving him honor and respect and allow him to grow by not being the outlet for his rage.<P>I really think God is calling me to honesty in this area, to speak to the issue in clear, concise ways and then get out of the way so that God can deal with him. We are not honoring our husbands if we are not honest with them...the fact that we allow fear to stop us from being honest isn't from God. The fact that when we are honest and verbalize that fear of reprocussion from our husbands, we are in some ways dishonoring them by implying that they can't handle the truth.<P>Implying that they aren't good enough to be the leaders in our home...which again implies that we are trying to rule the roost... (Thinking out loud here)<P>In the example you gave about the car, what I am learning from Pastor in regards to speaking to the issue is to respond, "yes, I can handle the situation honey, but wanted your feedback in case you had another idea from what I had in mind. Thanks for the feedback." <P>To be able to say that in an honoring way so that if the spirit convicts them and they feel guilty, so be it... you have then addressed the issue and been given the freedoom to take care of the matter yourself. <P>If he has been given the authority to be the servant/leader, we have to give them opportunities to be a servant. We have to respect the position that God has put them in. And I want you to know that I learn as I write to you as well, processing all these things from His perspective.<P>If we react in fear and if we dishonor our husbands by taking them out of the loop to be able to serve, are we not then lacking self-control as well, not trusting our husbands or the Lord that things will work out for our good? Have to ponder that one for awhile. <P>I really do appreciate the feedback. I do think God is working on us through these trials of ours.

Thank your for sharing what you've been discovering. I, too, feel that God is using the trials we are in to work on us. I keep remembering the verse about the fruits of the spirit, love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. God wants me to learn meekness, and gentleness. <P>I think I need to pray more for my conviction, and for the Holy Spirit to dwell in me always, to form my responses to my H for me so that I am in God's will with each contact I have with David. For the Lord to help me NOT second guess him, and help me reveal my feelings and needs to H in a positive way.<P>I like your idea of telling H I wanted his feedback about what I should do with the car, etc. <P>I think I'll stop at the Christian bookstore today and pick up a copy of Boundaries.

I do recommend the Boundaries in Marriage version over the general Boundaries book. I have both and I really think the BIM books gives more concrete examples to help in our responses.

Dear SueB,<P>I'll certainly be praying for you this weekend. <P>I have been under attack by the enemy and am fighting the depression.<P>Weekends are the pits here,all I have time to do is think of the failing of my marriage,and I can also see more clearly without my h around as to just how bad my marriage was in the sight of God.<P>Oh how it must have grieved the Father!<P>I could not please my husband, no matter how hard I tried- it was never good enough.<BR> I needed to be pleasing God instead. So, I harbored resentments for h, but stayed in denial about it.<P>My h has his own business, and would always hire a helper to work with him, but in a year's time,after six helpers,he works alone again, his choice.(He fired three, and three quit on him, so I know he is not easy to please.)<P>I, too, would not say anything if I knew it would make him angry, and I'm sure he did the same with me.<P>I read, from what I believe,was a secular web site on marriage, that the leading cause of divorce is avoidance of conflict.<BR>I take this to mean that we will do anything to keep the peace? Even divorce.I believe that is what my h is doing.<P>Plus, his mother left a legacy of divorce for her children by divorcing his father, so now both his brother and sister have ended their marriages too. No honoring the sacredness of marriage.Too sad.......<P>A couple of times I asked him to "please sometimes, just touch me in a non sexual way", but he couldn't take my honesty it seemed, and got angry.He must have felt that I was saying that he wasn't good enough.That he needed improvement.<P> I in turn felt selfish and demanding.(Which he called me also.)<BR>Sometimes I wonder if I was looking for my husband to be my mother.<P>Several months ago, we were talking about something and my h said"Well, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that,so you tell me how I'm supposed to feel about it-you've been the one who knows always knows what I feel, not me."<P>That is sad, because it seems like I have never allowed him to feel his feelings, that I always knew better how he was feeling.He was the male-in the left brain- just the facts--- and I was the woman- in the right brain and the feelings. <P> There was no humor in this household, I'm sorry to say, everything was always so intense.<P>My h is an adult child of an alcoholic, so some of them are, from what I've seen, either comedians, or, like my h, the other extreme, don't see the humor in anything.<P>Right now, I just feel like I failed everyone, mostly God.<BR>I have all this time on my hands being separated from h, and am facing myself and my demons.<P>How I can get caught up in the negativity.....satan again........<P>The good news is I have power over the enemy!!!<P>How grateful am I that God has used this storm to bring me to HIM!<P>So I am going to enjoy this rainy day and spend it with Jesus, and pray for all of us, all day long, and know in m heart that He is listening and interceding in Heaven and miracles will happen!Because we are praising Him for who He is, not just for what he can do for us----He already DID for us!!!<P>Shout to the Lord, my Jesus, my Savior!<P>SueB, thank you for your post, and your absolutely poetic prayers--are you also a writer?<P>Thanks for letting me vent.<P>Love,<BR>Joynicole<P>"Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her."

SueB,<P>A little late in getting in on your thread. First off, I am and will continue to pray for you this wknd. I think we have established that wknds can be something short of heaven.........<P>In regards to your question. Yes, I do believe that in able for our h's to assume the leadership/headship/spiritual leader in the home we can't be performing that role ourselves. It would seem that those of us who have assumed that role have done so because for one reason or another our h's have abdicated.<P>God did not create us capable I believe of maintaining that position for any length of time. Yes, we sometimes have to be leaders so there isn't chaos. But.....that should be only temporary.<P>Now, saying that I must also say that strong-willed women have one heck of a time giving up the role. That is where the rub comes in. <P>I am learning how to take my position as helpmate. For those lurking, I know you hate the word submission but that is God's dynamic and ecomony.<P>Father, help us as your daughters to assume the positon you have created for us in the home. In so doing may we be a blessing to our husbands and honor them as you have commanded. Give our husbands the vision to see themselves in the role You have created for them and give them the ability to assume that role as Spiritual Leader. IJN<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

It has been an interesting day. I thank you for your prayers so much!<P>As I have been mulling over all of the above stuff, I decided to take a risk and ask H if he would be willing to listen to parts of the discussion we have been having here and comment on them. I prefaced it with us talking about taking the logs out of our own eyes and some of the issue we were discussing. <P>I started at the top and read bits and pieces here and there throughout the thread, especially in regards to leadership issues. I would stop after a section and he would respond (now is this a miracle or what???) He says he feels we are going in the right direction, that he often feels that I don't need him and the only area he feels needed is plugging my cell phone in 'cause I forget all the time.(Ouch)<P>I brought up the tough subjects, this past weekend and his behavior. He started getting angry and I began praying asking the Spirit to put the words in my mouth. I restated my point and praise the Lord, he calmed down. We did talk about boundaries and limits. I was able to tell him that while I don't agree with his boundary of having nothing to do with me if I do not comply with his wishes, I respect that as his choice. What I did not agree with however, is the lack of mutual respect on his part, i.e. he choses to have nothing to do with me, but apparently isn't as comfortable with it as he thinks when he allows hatefulness, rudeness and unkindness to permeate his decision.<P>I was able to tell him how that behavior affected me. We were able to share how lack of trust and the perceived need for self-protection interferes with honesty. All in all, he still doesn't agree with me, and that is okay, for he was far more respectful about it, which was the purpose of the goal I had. I was able to state my points and he listened. He even changed his tune a bit in regards to the issue discussed last week and was far more positive about it.<P>Halleluah my Lord! Lest we take the guard down though and give Satan an opening for discord and the bursting of bubbles, let's keep praying please.

So we want to talk about Submission, do we? Very sticky. This was a trial for me for a long time. My first marriage taught me all I needed and I did come to terms with God's will. Our divorce was over different issues altogether.<P>With my current H, who has nothing of the divine yearning that I can tell, it is very tricky. He is "responsible" for choosing who will pray at mealtimes for us. This is the extent of his spiritual leadership. <P>Honoring and submitting to him otherwise means doing nothing without his agreement. I am trying to get closer and closer to the POJA. Mostly he is not around or available to consult however. But anything that will impact him is run by him for his approval first. That isn't much any more.<P>Fuzzy area example: When I go to choir practice I just announce that it is time for me to go to choir practice and ask H if he will be okay with the child or should I take her with me. Doesn't invite him to express agreement or disapproval, but he does have the opportunity to do so. Should I have to get his enthusiastic approval every week, or just assume that it is still okay because I've been doing it for years?<P>Hope to have our little talk tonight while soaking in the hot tub under the moon and stars with daughter safely put to bed. Maybe we can even have a "negotiation!" Imagine that!<P>Love, Karenna

The choir night jazz-<P>I think that is where we get confused in regards to submission. I do not believe we have to have "permission" to do things. I think that we give our husbands respect when we provide them with the info, "I am going... child okay or do I need to take with me?"<BR>I sense this in regards to the trust built between one another that we will do nothing to harm them.<P>The giving up of oneself for another is a gift, not a demand. We make each other aware of our desires, etc and we run it across the Father's desk for His stamp of approval. The me mentality of a few years ago came up with the slogan of not doing anything for anyone that they can do for themselves, with the initial goal of helping children become independent people. That was taken out of context I believe. <P>We are instructed to look out for our own interests so not to do so violates the father. We are just further encouraged to look beyond ourselves, to deem others important. In the marriage relationship discussed in Eph. 5, the first verse about submission is that we are to submit to one another in love and then expanded on in the following verses, to show what this should look like.<P>As we women are to respect our husbands for the position God put our husbands in, we are to consider the responsibility and accountability they have before them. We are to make his job a bit easier as the helpmeet, be the encourager, supporter, etc...I do not believe it means we are to be a slave or non person, but a valuable asset to him. <P>In light of this thread and the possibility that we are over stepping our bounds and not allowing our husbands the opportunity to suffer consequences for where they lead us, to the point that many have abdicated or felt pushed out....hmmm...just so much to think about.

Had one more opportunity to talk with hubby in regards to choices and the behavior of rage, nastiness and disrespect, particularly in light of his choice to have nothing to do with me if I am not meeting him at the door dressed appropriately as he has deemed appropriate. <P>I can really see the importance of praying wthout ceasing during these conversations, of rebuking the evil one from his mind and praying for his clarity of thought throughout. <P>I was able to share with him that my choice of removing myself from the verbal abuse situations was to protect myself from abuse, to protect the love I had for him, and to preserve the commitment to the marriage covenant, while I observed his purpose for the choice he made for having nothing to do with me for not complying to his demands was for the purpose of punishment.<P>I was able to tell him that I can respect the choice he makes even if I don't like it or agree with it and I can find other things to do to occupy my mind/time, etc. I can still serve him as I feel the Lord leading as far as meeting his physical needs, getting his meals, preparing his clothing for work, cleaning the house, etc. I can do these things to honor him and I try to maintain respect in the words I chose to say to him while he in this mode.<P>He began again with the rage and the consistant bantering of " I don't wanna, I don't gotta and I ain't gonna" jazz that he perceives me to be saying in regards to his request. After another quick prayer for binding the power of the evil one and hubby's mind, I was able to respond that he was correct in that analogy in the sense that the freedom I have in Christ is clear about that.<P>To share what the freedom in Christ gives me and how nothing can interfere with that freedom. To share that this freedom and recognizing who I am in Christ gives me the desire to protect the love I have for my husband and thus instills in me, the desire to make choices that would protect that love.<P>And that he also has that same freedom in Christ and that my only concern was not necesarily the choice he made to not have anything to do with me during those periods of time, but the motivation or purpose for that choice, the rage and rudeness that accompanied it, which tears down and does not build up.<P>I let it drop at that point and just kept praying. He finally came downstairs and we went to the grocery store and on the way, he said he thought about what I had said and he actually apologized for his reaction to my point about the freedom in choices I had. He asked if I had heard that apology and I responded that I had and was just thanking God for it. He said that he felt that he had apologized many times and that I hadn't heard it and I responded that perhaps God was making us both aware and more sensitive to such things since he felt he had not heard my apologies either.<P>The rest of the evening went without incident but I fell asleep on the couch watching something that he wanted to watch that I thought was boring, so hopefully that wasn't a love buster for him. Left me on the couch to sleep so maybe it was. I will apologize for that and see if there isn't some way we can find things to watch that holds interest for both of us as he has left many times when I have watched something that I am interested in.<P>Father, I praise You for taking charge of my marriage and for working in the hearts of both my husband and myself, for the insight You provide and the conviction to make changes and to speak boldly and honestly to the issues at hand. I thank You for providing these prayer warriors so that as one we can petition You and rebuke the evil that interferes with our covenant partnerships.<P>I thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit who intecedes for us and who prays for us when we do not know how to pray, for His continued effort to bring forth Your word to our minds so that we can continue to work and develop our character into Your character. <P>I thank You for the opportunity to grow in You, for Your faithfulness to us when we aren't faithful, for Your discipline when necessary, for the instruction in Your Word that we never have to flounder about what the truth may be. On this day especially Father, may we give You the praise You so deserve, may we rest in the glory of You, may we worship You with our mouths, our minds, our hearts and with all of our strength. May we experience oneness with You as "Abba", our daddy. IJN, Amen.

<B>Joy Nicole</B><P>I didn't want your post to get lost in the middle of my stuff, so wanted to address you separately. You are worthy of attention girlfriend! <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>"Well, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that, so you tell me how I'm supposed to feel about it-you've been the one who knows always knows what I feel, not me." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>It is amazing how in our good intentions, we dishonor our husbands. I have heard this quote as well...pretty humbling experience! Joy, all we can do is confess it, be made clean with the Father (1JN 1:9) and then pray for an opportunity to ask our husbands for forgiveness.<P>As we pray for the Lord to change us, He is going to be teaching us many things, about ourselves, about our wills, His will, etc. I have always known that we could pray with boldness, but the prayers found in POPW showed me how shallow I have been in praying for my husband. <P>As we share with one another, He is going to reveal other things about our character that we may need to change to conform to His likeness. This time from your husband can be a useful time for God to work in you. Let God change and conform you so that when you do see your husband again, he will be surprised at the change and wonder.... <P>Father, flood Joy Nicole with Your presence, block all darkness this morning and let Your light shine as You show her how to wisely use this time away from her husband to grow into the woman You would have her be. Show her specifically those areas that You want to change in her and then give her a vision of how to make these changes, step by step, lest she feel overwhelmed and the evil one gains a foothold.<P>Give her courage as she steps out in faith, to accomplish all You have for her. Let her sense of well-being and her dreams be in You and not in any things of this world. If there is anything blocking this, Father, reveal that to her as well. <P>Bring to her with one strong spirit filled sister who can mentor her, encourage and exhort her, to hold her accountable as she embarks on this journey with You. Let her weekends be filled with joy, an opportunity to accomplish tasks that takes her one step closer to the goal, so that she feels an excitement for the weekend to get here rather than dreading it.<P>And while she is working on these things Father, reach down and touch her husband's heart. Bring a sense of doom to him and scatter his thoughts so that without his wife, he can accomplish nothing. Only give him peace as he thinks of his wife. <P>Do whatever it takes Father, the failure of his business, etc. to bring him to his knees and brokenness, to realize that this is not Your will for him to abandon His wife. Expose the darkness Father. Bring Christian fellowship to him to gently restore him to You and the wife he has abandoned. <P>Show us how to stand in the gap for this marriage and this couple Father. Show us how to pray specifically to their need for healing. In all things Father, we want You to be glorified. Guide us in this. IJN, Amen.