Satan that is. Attacking us. I think he is stepping up his attacks because of Easter coming up.<P>Now David's employer may send him to CA, over 1,000 miles away, to work for several months, if his Co. gets the job. I think an extended separation like this would all but destroy what has been restored, not to mention that it would keep him from coming to church with me ever. <P>Would you please pray with me that David's employer does <B>not</B> get this job, and that David does not have to work out of town. He says he doesn't want to be away from home, but would go if they asked him to. David has a hard time resisting temptation, in fact he thinks that what I don't know won't hurt me.<BR>He does not have a relationship in the Lord to lift him up and keep him protected from Satan's attacks. Because of the nature of his employers (heavy drinkers, adultery, boss buys the workers alcohol, etc.) I feel that this is an attack on our marriage by the enemy, and an attempt by the enemy to destroy our marriage. What do you think?<P>Thank You dear Heavenly Father, for these wonderful, gracious praying wives. Bless them Lord, filling their cups to overflowing with Your love, Your peace, and Your wisdom. Lord, I pray that each of these wives are protected from the enemy's attacks, and a thick hedge of thorns is placed around each wife, husband, and marriage. Thank You Lord for continuing to call each husband by name, gently turning them towards You. I praise You Lord, You are so worthy, so strong, so awesome, and I am so weak. Help me Father to live my life for You. Please fill me to overflowing with Your Spirit. In Jesus' precious name I pray, AMEN.

Go with him!! If it is several months tell him that you are all coming. Rent out or sublease your house or apt. Find a dump you can afford in CA (prices are steep here)and tell him if he goes, you all go. The Co can pay or not.

AW,<P>You might just need to trust in God that He knows what He's doing. You gotta step out of the way so that God can do his work, sweetie - that is where the real faith comes in.<P>Faith means that you know and believe in your heart of hearts that God and the Universe are in control - so you don't have to focus so much of your time and energy trying to "save" your hubby - God will do that, in his own way and time - Faith means you know that this problem is already worked out. Our prayers should be prayers of thanks to God knowing that he is taking care of things, not prayers begging for change - do you understand what I'm saying? Let life unfold, tend to yourself, your home, and your kids, turn your hubby over to God. How do you know that there isn't someone out there who God wants to cross paths with your hubby - someone who might plant a seed of sanity?<P>Think bigger AW, God does his work through us, in ways that we don't always understand. Have faith.

Karenna,<BR>Good idea!!! I think I'll tell him that. I could probably take a leave of absence from my job, and since school is out next month, if he goes, <B>WE go</B>. His company can just pay our house payment, and our living expenses. Being in the IT industry, most likely I could get a job anywhere. Naaaa, I wouldn't even work if I did go! <P>Also, I wanted to update you all on his court situation. A week or so ago I talked to the prosecutor's office about the Batterer's Intervention Program H is supposed to be in. H got a letter from his atty. yesterday, letting him know that a trial date for his criminal assault case has been re-set for May 9. <P>His atty. asked him in this letter for the date he would be finished with these sessions, how many he has attended, and [i]if he has been attending at all[/b]. It is my guess that the Prosecutor's office has contacted H's attorney about his "forgetting" to attend his mandated classes. I am surprised that it has taken this long for this to happen. <P>estr - Thank you for your wise post. I do trust God, and believe in and stand on His word. I also believe that GOD is in control, and He will be the victor, however I also believe that Satan attacks viciously, especially when we have been praying incessantly, which we have been doing in our prayer group at church. <P>My H does not know God. The man that he works for buys his employees booze, lets them drink themselves into a stupor on his company property, then watches as they drive off in his company vehicles drunk. Several of his co-workers are alcoholics as well, and cheat on their wives. I have met each of his co-workers, and boss, none are born-again Spirit filled Christians, and none of them attend church. <P>The Lord wants us to be together, living together. I feel things deep in my heart, knowing that it is the Lord speaking to me. He wants our marriage restored, He has told my heart this. <P>It has not been that long since the Lord led my H to want to come home. Why would He want us to be separated again? No matter what happens, I will always praise God, and love and worship Him. He is first priority.<P>Thank you all for caring. Your posts and encouragement mean so much to me. You are all in my prayers.<P>Blessings,<BR>AW

AW,<P>I really do understand your plight, and your love for your H, and desire for his salvation.<P>What I have to offer is merely a different perspective, no judgements, no suggestions as to what you should do, just a different way of thinking that I've learned from my fight against alcoholism (H), and my quest for my own spiritual growth - OK - please just take what you like and leave the rest.<P>If this is a situation created by satan to thwart your efforts, you may be playing right into his game. He knows you will try to control this situation, to "protect" your H. You will disrupt you life and your kids to follow after H, for what? to watch over him, keep him out of trouble? This situation could be the source of more discord between you two if you let it be, and then more stress and worry for you - so satan has a heydey seeing the turmoil he's creating, by just introducing the "possibility" of out of town work.<P>If you were to simply leave the decision up to you husband, and accept what he decides without arguement, satan does not get to see an arguement. If you put your faith in God that all will be as it should be, satan doesn't get to see you all churned up and worried inside. Your H also doesn't get the arguement he's expecting or the excuse of a controling wife to drink again. If H does leave for the work, he doesn't leave in defiance - another strike against satan. If he messes up out there, he messes up on his own, you won't be there to blame. When he calls home drunk expecting a tirade, you assure him you love him, and miss him, but are getting along fine. An alcoholic finds God only in his deepest solitude and despair, if we don't let them get to that point, they have no reason to look.<P>In the meantime, you yourself defeat satan by not letting him get you all troubled inside. You stand behind your faith in God and go about your business and all satan can do is stomp off in frustration.<P><BR>Like I said, take what you like (if any) and leave the rest.<P>Be well.

Rootbeer,<P>I have to tell you that I have put off this post for a number of hours because my first response as I was reading it was "Halleluah! The Lord is going to bring him to his knees like we asked for!" <P>Then I finished reading your post and requests for God's intervention to stop this from occurring and I have to admit Rootbeer, that my gut sense even after this amount of time and talking with the Lord about it, is that the victory is the Lord's and it is time for hubby to get down on his knees and the same thoughts that estr had were mine. <P>Now after hearing your reply about the court thing, I am even more convinced of it. Let the walls close in on him. Let him see the consequences of his behaviors and feel the pain associated with it. You have carried his pain long enough. Carrying one another's burdens doesn't mean shouldering them so they don't have to carry them. <P>Do you think he will not drink if you go with him? He still drinks here, so why would that be different? Did he ask you to go with him? Did he even indicate that it would be neat if you went with him? <P>We are convinced that we are to be with our husbands, that God hates divorce etc. but the rest of those verses in Mal 2 keep coming back to me. We have free choice and yet it seems until we allow our free choices to get us in a world of hurt that we realize that we can't do it on our own. Satan stirs the pot and adds the seasoning, but our free will is the choice we make to accept the soup or not.<P>David is sanctified by your faith, otherwise he probably would not even be alive right now. We have been praying for the Father to go after him just like the shepherd goes after the one lost sheep and like HW said from that sermon she shared, the shepherd has to knock him down and bop him on the head before he can tie his front and back legs to carry him back to the flock.In some ways I just sense that this is God's timing, the bopping on the head time...for all of us in a way, for you and I to put our faith against the evil one, to trust the Father that He knows what is best for David and that He keeps His promises to never leave or forsake us.<P>To rebuke the evil one for fear comes from him.<P>Father, we seek your face in the light of these possible changes in Rootbeer's house, with the possibility of her husband, with his own weakness for alcohol, to go on this job away from his family. Father, we want Your <BR>will in this situation. We don't want to be controlled by emotions, particularly fear, but by your holy spirit. Give Rootbeer Your wisdom and peace as she gives this situation to You, trusting You to be on control of everything surrounding her husband. We thank You for Your promises and give You praise for how You will work in this situation. IJN, Amen.

AW, This is a hard one. I like Sue had the same thought, that maybe it was time for him to be on his own and face the music. Of course i wonder if they will let himgo anyway if he's not keeping up his counseling. He may end up somewhere else. I agree with Sue that being over him hasn't stopped the drinking.<BR>Aw, I know where you are. For 4+ years I thought if I went on trips with my husband. If I dropped in all the time, if I drove him to and from work, that i could control his contact with the ow. It didn't work. The last year especially has been all about letting it go. I wasn't stopping no matter how hard I tried. Even now sometimes I get frantic in my mind thinking I have to say this or I have to say that, and that's when I hear God tugging again saying you're trying to control it. I then have to close my eyes relax and say okay Lord take the next layer. It happened frequently but now that I have been letting go it doesn't happen as often. Yet it rears it's head once in a while. It is so hard to start letting it go and really trusting God. After a while though it is freeing. I felt so unburdened when I stopped trying to contro each part of his life and I wondered how I ever got in that position. <BR>After all he says we have to be willing to give up everything, including our husbands to draw closer to God. You know best in your heart AW, and only you can decide. Give it to God. If he wants you to go let it come from David. If it doesn't then maybe it is a sign to stay behind. And yes he might fall into temptation, but then he will have to face the consequences. You could go visit on a couple weekends if God provides the invitation. One of the hardest things for me is realizing that maybe my h and the ow have to be together to find out they don't want each other. The longest she stayed was 3 weeks at Christmas time and after that they realized they didn't want to live together.<BR>I have given it to God. <BR>Did you read my post about losing my billfold with all my id's and credit cards and how God returned it to me untouched. When it happened I decided it was gone and there was nothing I could do. So I said to God. This is an opportunity to trust God. It didn't mean I was expecting my wallet back but rather hat it would be for good. I said to myself. If no one calls saying they found it by the time I get home I will cancel the cards. You know before I even said that in my head the woman who found it had already called my hime to say she found it!! Awesome, profound!!!!!!! I walked in the door and the babysitter said someone called with your wallet. Just as I had said. <BR>AW, God showed me so vividly that night. We can trust Him. He is working and providing for us. It has helped me stay more in Him and His trust this week for my marriage. When the doubt starts to flood me I say Okay Lord, I saw a mighty example of trusting you this week. I will choose to trust You with this also. <BR>AW, let go and let God. That is what all of us have been saying that the Lord is teaching us. If you still feel in your heart you should go, then go. <BR>Let me say one other thing I got from that sermon. When we choose the wrong path He still uses it for our good and to carry out His plan so I have come to conclude in most cases there is no wrong answer. We spend too much time worrying if we make the right choice. I do believe some choices are better than others and I think when we choose according to us instead of Him, he still uses it for good but it takes a little longer. God's plans can't be thwarted, but it might take longer to get there. This is comforting to me. It has taken a lot of the worry out of it. Because I can't cause God's plan to be thwarted but I can delay it. I think it is also helping me to let go more.<P>AW, you are precious to me and the Lord has it all in His mighty hands. He loves you sooooo mush and will not drop you or David.<P>Father, thank You for Your plan for our lives. Teach us to further our trust in You and our knowledge in how magnificant you work and you are. Lord, Show AW what it is you want her to do. Help her to let go of her wants and concerns and be quiet and listen to Your plan. Jesus, You are there walking beside us, picking us up when we fall and setting us on the right path again when we stray. Thank You for Your faith and patience with us. Thank You for meeting AW and Davis where each of them are. Lord if David is to go You already know the plan. Go before him and provide for his spiritual awakening in Jesus. Lord, comfort and reassure AW. Bring Christain women and men to help her. Lord, let her be alert for your answer to come from many directions. Usually when You speak You show us Your answer in many ways, the words we read, something someone says or in a sermon. Lord let her quiet her heart and listen. Lord your plan can not be thwarted. Amen<P>Sorry this was sooo long. We love you AW. Jesus is walking with You. Stay close to his side. <BR>

Rootbeer,<BR>I don't know if your lack of replying is due to being in heavy prayer, or feeling as though we abandoned you in our responses to you and feel hurt. <BR>I do care so about you Rootbeer! I have been praying for His will in this situation and for your request but <B>only</B> if that is the plan He has for you and David and in line with our desires for the recovery and reconcilliaton and the healing of your marriage. <P>I did not make my comments lightly and as I said, I prayed about it for a long time and couldn't shake the need to respond, so I did. I don't know if you got the Getting them Sober book or not, but, for me, I found the examples helpful in understanding how I would better be honoring my husband by detaching. In this process of the POPW book, I am continually led back to taking the log out of my eye and I think that while I am working on that, God gets me out of the way to work on my hubby.<P>Praying for you Rootbeer!

I am so inexperienced and new at this that all I can say is I will pray for you both.<P>Trust in God to work on your H and trust in God to give you courage.<P>God Bless<BR>BabyDoll

AW< I second Sue's response. If my response seemed heavy against you it was certaINLY NOT MEANT TO BE. i ALSO CARE DEEPLY FOR YOU. tHE BOTTOM LINE IS IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER WHAT WE THINK. iT IS BETWEEN YOU AND gOD AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. fRANKLY i WOULD PROBABLY DO THE SAME THING, THAT IS GO WITH MY H IF HE ASKED ME TO, OR FIND A WAY TO DO IT. i JUST KNOW THOUGH THAT WHEN i HEAL ON SO TIGHT, IT WASN'T GOOD FOR ME OR THE RELATIONSHIP. bUT THAT WAS MY EXPERIENCE.<BR>You said that you had prayed deeply about it. So if God is saying go with him then you should follow what your heart in God is telling you. I want the best for you as I know everyone else does. You are so precious and supportive and I am thankful to know you on line. <P>Father, Speak Your truth to AW and let her know Your heart and plan for her at least what matters now. Lord, You are great and faithful to us. Let me not seem judgemental or nonsupportive toward AW. She needs our support more than she needs our advice. So Lord, forgive me if the words I wrote were in anyway hurtful and less than supportive to AW> Lord keep Your strong arms around her and surround her with Your love, support, comfort and grace. Lord, be in the decision whether to send David or not. Work with the company and his boses. Lord, let you plans develop and only Your plan come to fruition. Use this all for AW's and David's good and the good of their relationship. Lord let Your glory shine through this. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.<P><BR>

Hi y'all. Quick update since I'm at work now. I know that each of you are being supportive, and did not take your comments as trying to be anything but supportive of me. You all want the same thing as I do, my H to come to know Jesus as his personal Savior. <P>I spent the weekend praying with my prayer partner from church, about many things, including the possible job change for David. We both felt led to pray that the Lord speak to David's heart, and give him the right choice to make, closing the doors that lead him down the wrong path, and to place <B>Spirit-filled</B> Christians in his path. (We pray the same thing for her H as well - he has a lot of the same issues as David).<P>I don't have a definite answer yet, but David did tell me yesterday that he told his Supv. at work that he did not want to go to CA, and to send one of the other guys, if they get the job. He does not think the job will come through anyway - expenses will be too high. He also told me he "might" go to church with me next Sun. for Easter. I'm praying that the Lord will continue to work on his heart.<P>After talking with my prayer parter, we feel like maybe God is trying to tell David to look elsewhere for employment. David has had several job offers in the recent past (coincidence that these have come about since we've been praying for Christians to be in his path?) which he keeps turning down. To say his current place of employment is a bad influence on him is an understatement. It is the alcoholic's dream job. Where else could a man work where his boss buys the beer, and doesn't care if he gets drunk on the job? Surely this type of environment can't be pleasing to God, right?<P>Still don't knkow yet what the prosecutor is going to do to him since he has not been attending his sessions. David did seem a little worried about this though.<P>Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. I'm praying for all of you too.<P>God bless each of you,<BR>AW

Just a comment on God's timing. At the point at which I saw all my prayers possibly coming true--H's affair over, he wanted to move home, he'd turned his life to Christ--I felt more angry than anything because I had given up on my marriage.<P>Guard spent the last 3 months praying that my heart would soften, that I would say he could come home. This has just happened this past week...he's angry that it didn't happen before he had rented another house, and he doesn't really want to move home.<P>Obviously there is a lesson here for us. Don't box God in. Don't give him deadlines. Don't give God ultimatims.<P>Honestly, breaking through the hardness of my heart was terribly difficult...and I expected my H to be overjoyed. His lukewarm/lack of response angers me.<P>AW, give up to God. I know my decision not to let my H back in the house in Jan was the right one, he had to come to the end of himself. And he did. However, it wasn't something I was able to do before then--that was God's timing. And I made bad choices in the mean time and probably messed up God's timing. God is still in charge, but sometimes we have to get out of the way...and not lose our way as we do it.<P>Faith, Grace, Love, Hope.<P>