AW, I feel so bad that you gave not posted since the other day. I never meant to be unsupportive or judgemental. Please forgive me. You have to do what you bellieve is right for you and David. I will say no more. I miss your sweet spirit and presence. I am hoping that you have just been busy or praying and that is why you haven't joined us. I would feel terrible if anything I said led you away from this forum. I know for me it would not be the same. So please accept my apology for any hurt I caused you. I pray you are doing okay.<P><BR>Please Father forgive me for my words that might have caused another to trip or stumble. Who am I to advise anyone else. I trip and fall on my face constantly. Lord, I lift my sister AW up to You for Your protection and guidance. Give her more of Yourself and cause her to thirst even more for you. Lord, put a hedge of thorns aroung her for her protection. Lord, lead David away from the bottle and all those that influence him toward that. Lord, show Yourself to David in such a way that he has to stop in his tracks and acknowledge Your presence. Lord. I ask for forgiveness from You and AW for any distress I caused her. She is too precious to me to let that happen. In Jesus name Amen.

AW,<P>I know you are in a very tough place... you may feel that it's your responsibility to watch over you H, you may feel like EVERYTHING is your responsibility, and if anything goes wrong, maybe somehow you find a way to convince yourself that if maybe you prayed more, or did this, or did that, that things would be different. If that's where you are right now, I know exactly how you feel. I've been there, I still go back there at times. It's hard to seperate yourself and your responsibilities from others and their responsibilities... somewhere inside, you know that's what you need to do... but it hurts SO much. Depression, alcoholism, addictions... the family members quite often become sicker than the one afflicted with the illness. We lose track of where we end and the other person begins. We allow ourselves to be hurt (physically and emotionally) and taken advantage of. We have to hit our own rock bottom too... and it hurts, to the depths of your very soul. I know AW, I truly know. Which is why I felt it necessary to speak bluntly even though it may have contradicted some of your feelings. If it had not been for a very good friend speaking bluntly to me, helping me see reality, I'd still be trapped inside myself. Alcoholism turns things insideout and upside down.<P>So many people here care very much about you, so much that they felt it necessary to try to help you see what you can't see on your own right now. I know I'm new, and what I say doesn't carry much weight, just know that I truly do know what you are going through, and I felt the need to share my perspective, but only to help.<P>

to Estr,<BR>you are so wise, even though your post was to AW I feel you were speaking to me. thanks, gotta go to work

Hi ladies. I'm sorry if I worried you, I haven't been on the web all weekend. I spent Friday night going for a long walk with my prayer partner from church. Her H is also an alcoholic, but with other issues that are very stressing to her. He also doesn't live for our Lord. <P>We walked and walked, and prayed together. I also had the chance to meet her H (he's never come to church with her either) and I must say, SueB, I can sure empathize with you a LOT more now. After meeting him, I felt this GREAT need to pray for her and her H all weekend. <P>We prayed together a lot this weekend, and had a tremendously spirit-filled service at church yesterday. I have a vision of David in this church with me. The Holy Spirit is so evident there, David will be overwhelmed with the Spirit when he sets foot in the church. <P>We went to his friend's house for dinner Sat. night, where I had a chance to do some subtle witnessing for our Lord to his friends. <P>David never mentioned the verses I placed in his lunch last Fri., but he was calmer and nicer to me than normal all weekend. <P>I have no answer from the Lord yet about David's work situation (see my other post on He's at it again . . . . ). I really do believe that Satan is working overtime on David, and me. I really, really feel that Satan is going to do everything in his power to keep David out of our church. It is one of those churches where you immensely feel the Spirit of God the moment you walk in the door. Satan knows that the Holy Spirit will be in control when David is in that church, and he doesn't have a chance whatsoever for victory - it will all be God's victory, and to His glory. So of course, the enemy is going to do everything he can to keep him out of there.<P>That's where I come in. I have to pray the bondage prayer more, fast and pray incessantly this week, so David will hear God speaking to him. Like hw said about Jack, if she doesn't pray for him who will? No one. David is the same - no one else in his family prays for him. I love him too much to hand him over to Satan.<P>Estr and hw - thank you both for your prayers and kindness. You are both such wonderful Christians, and I am so glad to know you, even if it is only through electronics! Estr - I do want to let you know that I know that I cannot keep David from drinking (he still drinks WAYYY too much now anyway), but I can pray for the Lord to enlighten him, and show him the Truth. Yes, what he does hurts me, but I know it is NOT my fault, and no matter what he says, I am not the reason he drinks. He has an addiction, a disease. I don't "need" him to live, I have a good job and can take care of us by myself. I do though feel that God has chosen me to be his wife to pray for him, and show him the love of Jesus through my life. My H has never known how wonderful Jesus' love is, he's never experienced living in a home filled with Jesus' love. <P>I'll keep you posted. Also, we have a joint counseling session with Steve Harley tomorrow AM at 6:00. Please pray about it with me! Thanks ladies. You are all jewels.<P>AW<P>

I am so glad to hear your account of the weekend. I prayed that it was prayer keeping you away from the forum rather than hurt.<P>I really like your putting snippets of scripture in his lunch. It reminded me of the things I used to do for my husband when he was alive...heart shaped sandwiches and little poems, letting him know I wanted him, written on a banana, etc. I used to write him a love note every day on a napkin, thanking him for being my husband, for taking care of me, etc. (You know this man had 16 cords of firewood cut, split and stacked for me before he died. It lasted me two years!)<P>I am thinking that since admiration is one of the big 5 of a man's emotional needs, I need to do more of that with this hubby. It probably would help with honoring as well. Like Cozy once said, to make a big deal out of the small stuff to encourage them to do more of the same. Inviting them to be a part of our lives.

Admiration was David's #2 EN. I also put love notes, cards, etc. in his lunch. I have left sticky notes on the steering wheel of his truck saying I love you. I too try to find different ways to say "I appreciate everything you do" also and tell him this often. <P>THere's been times I felt I was forcing myself to say thank you or say admiring things to him because I sure didn't feel like it. Especially since I never hear anything like that back, and he had been out drinking the night before. How do I get rid of these negative feelings I've been having towards him lately?