"According to your faith let it be to you" Matt. 9:29<P>"The good news is that this means we have a certain amount of control over our lives and can, to some extent, determine how things are going to turn out for us" -"Our faith will help determine our outcome". Stormi-pg 196.<P>Her comments that everyone believes in something really challenges us to evaluate those things we believe in and to look at our husband with perhaps different eyes. As an observer of my husband, a student, learning about this one I love, seeing those things he values, gives us great opportunity to focus our prayers with greater intensity. <P>Satan wants us to believe that we are helpless in our situations, since God has everything planned anyway and He has allowed the circumstances in each of our lives. The evil one invites doubt as to what did we do that was so bad that these things happened to us, challenging our faith and our God. <P>Have you looked at a mustard seed? It is so small! We can laugh at the evil one knowing that this tiny amount of faith can move mountains. Our faith can make a difference in our marriages! <P>Father, thank You for this truth this morning. Thank You for challenging us to reassess our thoughts and lifestyles and to be students of our husbands.<P>Father, where there is doubt, replace it with the mustard seed and make it grow. Give us Your awareness of the mini gods in our lives and help us to sweep our closets clean. Continue to change us that You might be glorified in our lives and that we may be vessels You can use for Your kingdom. <P>I am especially touched Father by Your word in Romans 10:17 regarding faith coming by hearing by the Word of God. For those of us with believing husbands, show us how to incorporate the Word into our conversations with our spouses that they might be encouraged and their faith will grow. For those who are not yet heirs to the throne, give wives the wisdom how to plant the seeds of faith that You will germinate it as You soften their hearts and remove the crusts from their ears that they might hear You calling them as You draw them near. <P>We bind the power of the evil one given to us by the authority of Jesus. We declare that their minds, and emotions are off limits and that all clarity comes from You, that You will remove the blinders off their hearts and that they will be enlightened to the truth of the false gods in their lives, be it money, debauchery or Jezabels in their lives. <P>Father, we ask that You increase their faith and that You enlarge their ability to believe in You, Your word, Your promises, Your ways and Your power. Break the old chains, Father, show them a mirror of themselves, lost, alone, desolate and empty without the wives they made a covenant with. Give them a desire to renew this covenant, to be aware of the lies they have believed and to swallow pride and yield to Your will.<P>Teach them as they sleep, let nothing else take captive of their minds, make them restless in their present state,unsatisfied, hungry. Let their thoughts be clarified that they may speak with openness to their wives and let us as wives, hear with our hearts and not with hurt. Show us how to set boundaries that honor You and thus honor our husbands.<P>And as their faith grows Father, teach us how to submit and respect, not as doormats, but vibrant, willing helpers, partners united with You. IJN, Amen.

SueB, I love reading your well thought out, inspiring posts. This one is great. <P>Faith is an area I need to work on. Hw's post on answered prayer lifted me up and increased my faith in our Lord 100 fold tonight. I must keep working on remembering that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" Heb 11:1. I think I'll print this verse out in a large font and tape it to the dash of my car! <P>My husband is not walking in faith. He is so lost, living in the darkness, listening and following the enemy. The Lord is working in him, enlightening him, chipping away at the hardness of his heart, and opening his eyes to see and his ears to hear the TRUTH, because one day soon the Truth will set him free!<P>I have promised the Lord that I will pray incessantly for my Husband until he accepts Jesus as his Savior. I pray that the Lord will bless David with the gift of Faith, a faith so strong it never wavers, and enables him to be the godly head of our family, the way God intends. With God nothing is impossible! <P>Thank You Lord for giving us the gift of Faith. Praise be unto You, I humbly kneel at Your cross and worship You tonight Lord. Lord, please give each praying wife an extra measure of faith, and show these husbands that You are the Truth, the Way, and the Life. Show them Lord that their whole lives will be changed for the better by living in faith, believing upon You. Thank You Jesus. In your precious name I pray, AMEN

Rootbeer, <BR>Maybe I missed it, but other than hearing that counseling didn't go well, we didn't really hear why it didn't go well. Are there things that we need to be praying more specifically about? I know that you have felt discouraged this week and I don't mean to pry, but I did want you to know I care.<P>How can we water the mustard seed to make it grow?

In a sermon I heard a few years back one salient thing came out. It is great to have faith, but the important thing is faith is as good as the object we put our faith in. Faith is one of those generic words it is safe to use. But I wonder what those that do not know Christ base their faith on? I base my faith in a living God who sent himself to substitute for me, take my sin because I constantly try to substitute myself for Him. Those that do not know Christ, do they think about what or who exactly is making those prayers come true, or is it some magic that miracuously gets performed. I base my faith on the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ who intercedes for me. He is a living God. Therefore I can have absolute belief that my faith is based in a real God, the real thing, not just pray and throw it out there for something to catch and believe in. Does this make sense? I believe that is why a Christian's faith is potentially stronger, not because they believe harder but because there is something real it is based in.

You make some interesting points HW, and I understand where you are coming from in light of the grace shown to me over the years, but even as a young woman trying to raise a baby by myself and a church who judged that it was my fault that my husband left us, I knew there was a God out there who saw and knew all and loved me. <P>I will never forget my daughter's first Christmas, 4 months old, and me standing in front of the creche and mentally placing my baby in that crib relinquishing my daughter to Him and knowing that He would take care of her. It was another 6 years before I heard the Word and understood the need to ask Christ into my life, to understand that there was nothing I could do to get into heaven on my own. <P>When she went through her rebellious times, I knew that He protected her. She rededicated her life to Him a couple of years ago. What a celebration that was! The God I believed in when she was a baby was the same God the Father that I have now, only now, the love between us is so much deeper because of the gift of Christ.

Thank you SueB for asking about the counseling session. I feel so blessed to have such caring friends on this forum. <P>I felt like it didn't go well because we weren't able to do joint counseling together because David was in a hurry to leave for work and was rather grouchy, and we didn't get a chance to go over the emotional needs questionnaires. <P>Dr. Harley talked to him first for about 30 min, then me for about 20. One thing he did tell me that I felt encouraged about was that he and David discussed this job in CA, and Steve told him that going there was not an option. What he told me to do about it is, if David does choose to go, I must respectfully say goodbye, but that I can tell David in a factual way how I feel about it, i.e., that I feel that his choice to go will destroy what we have restored. I still haven't heard yet from H whether or not they got the job, or if he has to go. He did say yesterday that he "really doesn't care to go there". We haven't discussed the counseling session yet either. Since H does not bring it up, it will be up to me to initiate the conversation, and I don't feel comfortable doing that unless he is sober. He hasn't been sober this week. <P>What bothers me is his lack of commitment to our marriage. Choosing to live away from your wife and family does not appear to me to be in line with the way Christ expects a husband to behave towards his wife. According to Ephesians, Husbands are commanded to love their wives, as Christ loved the church <I>and gave himself for it</I>. I want to believe that it is the influence of alcohol that keeps H from being committed. He was not this way when he was sober years ago. <P>I also received a call from my divorce atty.'s assistant this week, requesting that I come in for a meeting with the atty. I have to go tomorrow, don't know what she wants to talk to me about. I have been praying about this, asking God to direct my thoughts and comments. <P>Also, David STILL has not gone to the Batterer's Intervention counseling sessions. He now says he can't go because there is not a session starting right now. As far as I know, he is still scheduled for court on May 9. I pray that the Lord will use these counseling sessions for His good, as well as the court appearance. <P>I do not understand why my husband does not think he has to be accountable for his actions and behavior. I pray every day that the Lord give David a conscience. <P>My prayers this week have been asking the Lord to fill me with his peace and understanding, as well as a renewed infilling of the Holy Spirit. I'm also praying that the Lord keep David under conviction, and that he keeps his word that he will go to church with me Sunday. Our church is having a special Easter musical and I'm hoping he will go and enjoy it. Plus, the presence of the Holy Spirit is so strong in this church.<BR>Thanks so much for caring. <P>hw - great comments. I, too, wonder what non-Christians use as a basis for their faith? To me, there is nothing or no-one else deserving of our faith except our Lord Jesus Christ. <BR> <BR>Blessings to you all,<BR>AW

Sue,<BR>I see what you are saying, but I do bel;ieve it was our God who was drawing you to Him. And think about what you did, you imagined putting that baby in the manger, maybe you didn't know Christ personally but God knew you would. So that says to me that you were still basing faith on God and Jesus eventually. He was moving you there.

Dear AW,<P>I noticed your "pen name" in the listing under Women's Bible Study. I am reading that book now, but haven't been following this study, which I now will.<P>However, my question really has more to do with being married to an alcoholic. My H has been a recovering alcoholic since before I met and married him 11 years ago. I've never had a close relationship of any kind with an alcoholic. It has just been the past year (6 months prior to the OW - in November 99 - and up to the present) that he started drinking again, unbeknownst to me. I found out last September. I didn't know what to do....still don't. <P>He moved out in January and is basically on his own, but still having an affair with the OW (his first affair as far as I know). I hear so much about how alcoholics act when they are under the influence (whether they are drunk or not)...how it changes their thought patterns and seems to "make them" do things that they wouldn't normally do. Is this true? Is my H's mid-life crises and affair due in part to his drinking? When/if he stops (he's back in AA now), will he come to his senses at some level?<P>I don't really get alcohlism. It seems like an excuse to do sh*tty stuff. I understand that once they drink, then things are out of control....but nobody is forcing him to drive to the store and bye beer! Anyway, I don't necessarily want to debate that, I just want to know if anyone thinks that things might change if he stops drinking for a few weeks/months? Is is possible that he'll start seeing what he's doing and get back to some semblance of normalcy...of the man I married?<P>Thanks for your advice and I know this isn't exactly the rigth place to post this, but I'd appreciate a reply if you want.<P>Thanks.<BR>Mrs.O<P><BR>

Hi Mrs.O, <BR>Sorry I haven't responded earlier, have been away from my PC and hadn't been able to check in.<P>I am so sorry you are having to live through the alcoholism nightmare too. It is bad enough when they spend their life drinking it away, but when they start up with another woman, it is unbearable. I was listening to Dr. Dobson's radio show last night, the speaker was talking about alcoholism. He made a comment that alcoholism and sexual imorality go hand in hand. That is so true. I have found that when my H is cheating on me, he drinks way more, is more mean and physically abusive. <P>Their inability to control the desire to drink baffles me. I believe my H really does mean it when he calls and says he's just gonna have one beer with the guys and will be right home. I don't think he ever intends to drink himself into oblivion and stay until there's no more beer, or no one left to drink with. What floored me one night was he came home drunk, and had spent the evening drinking with some of the Mexican workers at the jobsite <B><I>who don't even speak english</B></I>! So what did they do, just swig it down, look at each other and laugh? <P>I will say that when my H quit drinking when our son was little (he's 14 now) he was a loving, happy, good husband and father. That all ended when he took that first drink again. He was sober for nearly 5 years. I guess that is what has kept me from leaving so many times, the knowledge of the good marriage we had. I pray that we will have that again someday.<P>To answer your question, quitting drinking for a few weeks or months will not work. In my case anyway, it isn't getting better, in fact, I am hurting worse these days, as long as H is drinking. I truly believe that anyone can change if they want to, but at this point my H does not want to. He has not hit bottom yet, and the Lord is not through working on him. I will continue to pray for him to come to total brokenness at the Lord's feet. <P>If your H does quit drinking, he probably will wake up and realize what he has done. Pray that the Lord will open his eyes and ears to the Truth. <P>Again, I am so sorry you are hurting through all this. I'll be praying for you Mrs.O. If you need to talk anytime my email is jlsr100199@yahoo.com. <P>Love and prayers to you,<BR>AW