I have to go see my divorce atty. today at 1:30 PM Central Time. Would you please pray a short prayer for me? I don't know what she wants. I had recently sent her the court notice I received stating that I wanted our suit to stay on the docket for the time being. Please pray that the Holy Spirit is with me thoughout this meeting, and that God will go before me in every thought, word, and action during this meeting, according to His will.<P>Thank you all so much.<P>AW

Aw,<BR>I'm going to pray for you now. God will be with you and guide you. Keep your head up. I'm praying for you. Much love to you.<BR>Carol

AW,unfortunately, I didn't check this earlier. But I will pray anyways. I read your post on my threar. Awesome, that David bowed his head and said grace before earing. Even if it was going through the motions at this point it is a first step, and God will use it. We just keep praying and believing. Oh, and praise God.<BR>I just took my h and youngest daughter to his place and waited with them until the car picked them up for the airport.<BR>It is kind of weird going in his place. I usually just drop them off. I asked if I could help carry things in and he said yes.<BR>So after he put the stuiff in the car for the airport (it was pouring rain) He dashed back to lock his door, as he ran by me he kissed me goodby. My youngest who I think we both thought was in the car looked at me and said. Did he just kiss you? I said a little one. She smiled from ear to ear.<BR>My only caution is I don't want to get their hopes up before there is some real talking about getting back together. This is the first time she has noted anything. We've been real careful over the last few weeks.<BR>God is great!<P>So what did the attorney want, AW?<BR>Just keep trusting God. He is leading you on a marvelous journey, a journey of growing and healing! That's the way it is. <P>Father, We know that all things are in Your hands. Thank You Jesus for this day. Lord, the day that You took all my sins upon You. How can we ever pay back that kind of love? Help us to love others because of your great love. Help Aw to draw closer to you and to increase her faith in the knowledge of You and that You are working even in little ways. But little ways suppport larger ways. Thank you Jesus for You. Teach us to forgive as we are forgiven in Jesus Christ. Lord, keep working in David's heart. Reveal Your Spirit to him in such a way that You totally astound David and he can no longer ignore your calling to him through the dark. He will see you and hear You, Praise the Lord. Thank you for giving AW a heart that builds others up and stands for her husband and shares her faith so gererously with others. In Jesus name, Amen.

Brown, Thank you so much for your prayers. You're in mine too. God bless you, dear sister.<P>hw - OOOOOOOOHH how exciting! Praise God, hw, He is working a miracle in your lives! Keep those eyes focused upward, for great is thy reward! And, I think you are very wise not to get your children's hopes up, even though we have faith that God IS restoring your marriage. Thank you dear hw for your prayer. I felt peaceful this afternoon after the appt. and I know it was from your prayers. <P>Well, my attorney had me come to her office because of the notice of dismissal or retain on docket form I returned to her. I hadn't talked to her since right before we got back together. Apparently she'd talked to my h's atty, who informed her that we were trying to reconcile (he is also my H's criminal atty.) <P>She wanted to know what was going on, and to let me know that in order for the case to stay on the docket she would have to set a court date for property settlement. I told her to do whatever she thought best to leave the case on the docket. Until David stops drinking, I am not going to drop the divorce suit. <P>She also wanted to know what was going on with his criminal trial so I informed her of his lack of attention to his counseling sessions. She advised me to call the Prosecutor's office and tell them I am concerned about his not attending. So, I'll be calling them on Monday. <P>She had our file out, and was making notes, and she made a note that said that I am just waaaayyyy too nice to H as she said this too me. I also informed her of the potential job transfer to CA for David. Oh, and she wants me to get an appraisal done on my house, just in case. <P>I got the impression she thinks I'm nuts for taking him back!<P>Love and blessings,<BR>AW

AW, Very interesting. You said that the attorney thinks you are nuts for taking him back<BR>She probably does. But, she does not know Jesus as You do and it is Him that matters<P>Ny family knew nothing about all this until Jack moved out. I didn't have much choice then. But it will make it harder. But I don't care. I will feel bad for Jack, and it may mean we don't rush out there as a family for a while. However, I dodn't care. The only one I have to please if God. I know all my friends, even a few Christian ones, think I am nuts. But I am not co-dependent and some may say I just don't have enough confidence in myself so I stay with the same old thing. But I offer an alternative.<BR>My wedding vows. To love, honor and cherish, until death do we part. I do not have low self esteem, and yes I do believe I could find someone else, but I don't believe that is the direction that God is leading me. And if God is leading me to stay where I am then i also know, as I said yesterdy, that He will create a new relationship and change Jack also. It won't happen overnight necessarily, but it will happen.<BR>God is amazing! Jesus is awesome!<BR>So AW, you have to do what you feel you are being led to do and so what about the rest.<BR>Look at Noah. "Hey Noah what are you building?<BR>An ark?<BR>An what?<BR>An ark. <BR>What's it for<BR>It's going to rain and flood the earth.<BR>A whal. what is rain?<BR>Oh God is going to send it to earth to flood the earth.<BR>Okay sometime 4o years later<BR>Hey, Noah, nice ark. What's this rain stuff you keep saying is going to fall from the sky. <BR>Looks up, I don't think I see anything.<BR>God told me to build an ark, I'm building an Ark. Laughter<BR>40 more years<BR>Hey, Noah you stiol believen it's going to rain? Hey why you have all those anima;s in your yard? They going into the ark too. Laughter<P>Most of the Bible's greatest have been laughted at. I don't think my family will laugh at me. but they will shake their heads and say I thought Cindy had more sense.<BR>Have I ever shared with you Dan Allender's definition of love, Bold Love as he calls it in his book by the same title.<BR> "The meaning of love is found in the person Jesus Christ and incarnated with definition and meaning by His Death and resurrection.<BR> Love is a sacrifice for the undeserving that opens the door to restoration of relationship with the Father, with others and with ourselves."<BR> "It is in the light of Christ's sacrificial, intentional, and transforming love that we are to define love. It is equally on this basis that we will be evaluated and, one day, judges."<P>So sometimes and most times love invovles sacrifice.<BR>This floors me when I think about it. For me the salient piece is "that it opens the door to restoration of relationship with the Father."<P>That is what stands out to me. We are praying, and praying, but if we leave and close the door on our relationships are we closing the door to restoration. I know I can't restore my husband, only God can do this. But is my purpose here so that can be carried out. If I leave (which he allows) will I miss out on a great miracle and blessing from God? And notice I said allowed. Yes, he allows us to leave according to the behavior of our husbands. But notice it says allows not demands.<BR>AW, I'm preaching to the choir. I know you know all this. My point is that people around you will think you are crazy. They thought Jesus, Noah, Moses ...were all crazy. But great was their reward and oh, did they come to know God in such a mightly way by sticking with Him. You'll know what God wants you to do and the rest really don't matter.<BR>It amazes me that I can stand up to my family. I do it in a nice way because I know they don't understand.But I don't care what they think, I have to follow in the path that I believe that Jesus is walking me down. I am sorry for the division wall that separates us, because I don't feel as close, but I pray for their salvation. I am the first saved Christian in my family. Well, I take that back. When I was in college I believ my grandmother was saved, but I never really experienced it. My mother talks about some woman coming to her house and giving her some booklet. It was the Daily Bread. So, I believe she was saved. It will be a treat to find her waiting for me in heaven. I wonder also about my father. It was really on his part that I think we went to church growing up. I;m not sure he was saved, but there is something in my heart that says he may have been.<BR>Oh, AW you are doing well, in a very tough situation. It must be sooo hard to live with and love someone so much that is continuing with such a self destructive habit. And, Oh the pain you have bore. <BR>Thank God we have Jesus in our lives. Can you imagine dealing with this without Him.<P>Father, Thank you for being with us. It boggles my mind how anyone can deal with life without You. I find it overwhelming. Lord, thank you for calling us out of the darkness. Thank you for keeping at us until we saw You. Thank you for all those Christians that you put in our paths that led us to a place where we could see Jesus and ask Him into our hearts. It is awesome. Lord, thank you for our husbands. Thank you for all those that You are placing in the paths of our husbands to lead them also to Jesus. Thank You Father for using us to be exampl;es of Jesus to them. Spirit work through us. Not that we can do anything, but that You can work through us. Thank You, that is awesome. Lord, we love you. I lift up AW< and I ask You to give her strength to follow You no matter who or waht the world says to her. Lord, touch David and bring him those that You intend to touch David's path that leads him to You. Lord thank you for the Ones You are putting inJack's life that will lead him back to You. I pray that his daughter can show him You and Jesus this week. Let, both Jack and David be convicted of YOUR great love for them this week. Let them have eyes to see You, ears to hear You calling them, and hearts that will melt with Your touch. Let them hear Jesus this week. Lord, thank You for answering this prayer. We pray in Your will and we pray because we know that You hear and You want to do this. Lord, Thank You for the awesome and unfathomable way You work. Lord work in our husbands in ways we could never imagine and help us to accept them in the ways they may never change. Lord, creat space in these marriages so that we can exist too. Lord, change all our perspectives and continue to change them into having a heart more like the heart of Christ. In Jesus most precious name, Amen.

hw - I'm sorry I haven't responded earlier. Its been a busy weekend! <P>I'm glad to know that I am not the only one whose family and friends think they have gone nuts for trying to reconcile my marriage. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>But I am not co-dependent and some may say I just don't have enough confidence in myself so I stay with the same old thing. But I offer an alternative.<BR><B>My wedding vows. To love, honor and cherish, until death do we part.</B> I do not have low self esteem, and yes I do believe I could find someone else, but I don't believe that is the direction that God is leading me<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>You are so right hw. When we made that vow, I meant it, until death do we part. I don't believe in the co-dependency movement stuff. I believe that God is leading me in the right direction, and I put my faith and trust in Him. He is working on David's heart.... I've seen little things lately that tell me that. And, I also do not want to close any doors leading to his salvation and the total restoration of our marriage.<P>There is NO WAY I would have come through this ordeal with any sort of sanity without Jesus. He is my sanity, my peace, my deliverer, my world. I cannot express in words how much He means to me. <P>And I agree with you, that if I were to give up, how do I know that I wouldn't be giving up on missing out on the desire of my heart, a loving Christian husband who is the spiritual leader of our family, as God intends? Biblically I have grounds to divorce him due to his adultery. But I choose to forgive.<P>Thank you for your lovely prayer. I appreciate them so much! You are such a dear sis in Christ, I am so happy you are here. My prayers are for you and Jack tonight. <P>God bless you hw,<BR>AW