hi ladies,<BR> I just want to share that I really am learning alot from reading on this board. I am seeing small changes in my husbands attitude toward me. I am able to be strong and not pressure him because of being able to share here. We went to a business dinner last night and I decided right then, I am his wife, and I will do what is necessary to remain his wife. Earlier this week,I was down in our basement where he is setting up his woodworking shop, I got this reaauring thought, (GOD?) "He's not going anywhere".<BR>I also want to share this to show my changed attitude. My husband agreed to take me on an overnight to a fancy hotel, when I got below 200 lbs for two weeks. I have been 10 pds below that for several weeks. Anyway I suggested we go to his favorite lodge and fly fish in the morning. It is very pretty there, rivers and woods. He was very receptive, it will be fun for both of us.<BR>I don't want to pressure him into a "romantic" situation, which was my goal when I made him promise to take me. Sometimes this growth hurts. thanks for your prayers and you guys continue to be in my daily prayers also

Hi Carol, I had been wondering how you were doing. Glad to hear from you. Yes, it is comforting to know we have a place to go to talk about how we're feeling, ask for encouragement and prayers and get it, and have fellowship with other Christian women who are in a similar predicament. Praying together helps so much. <P>God is working in your life and your marriage, you can be sure of that. One of the best things that comes out of Stormie's book is that we examine ourselves and our relationship with Christ, and understand that we must work on ourselves first before God can heal our marriages. And you are so right, this growth does hurt sometimes!! <P>Your dedication to lose weight is surely helping to fill his love bank. Is need for an attractive spouse one of his most important emotional needs? It is for my H, and I have battled weight issues for years. I do think that my losing weight and keeping it off has helped David's attitude towards me somewhat, in that he enjoys it when others make comments to him that I look good. This I think goes along with his important emotional need for Admiration. <P>I didn't realize this was so important to him, because for a long time he would say things like looks aren't everything. One thing he said to me before he moved home was that he felt that I had let myself go, because I put on my grubby old clothes as soon as I got home from work, and piled my hair up in a bow on the top of my head, so I looked ratty when he got home. I have made a concentrated effort to change that. It's been hard to come home and get out of dress clothes, and then get into my "dress" jeans, and redo my makeup and hair before he gets here. He seems to appreciate it though he doesn't ever say anything, other than "where are you going to now". When I tell him nowhere, I just wanted to look nice for you, he gets a weird look on his face. <P>Sorry, I'm getting wordy again. Blessings to you Carol, I'm praying for you too. Have a great time fly fishing!<P>AW

AW,<BR>thanks, I am also an alcoholic's wife, only my h is very controlled, drinks daily very seldom drunk. Our counsler will only call it <BR>"A problem with drinking" I guess that's all he can do until he is ready to stop denying it's involvement in our problems.<BR>I have read scads of alonan litature and have decided to leave that issue alone and work on what I can change about myself and our relationship, oops, gotta get my son to his soccer game bye