I really appreciated Carole14 checking in and letting us know what God was doing in her life and what he was teaching her, so I am hoping some of you other newer precious ladies will also check in and let us know what is going on in your world and how we can specifically pray for you this week.

Karenna here. I forgot to write down my password when leaving town. So I reregistered and now can log in from anyone's computer. <P>The Lord has blessed me with a great feeling of peace this weekend. I am with my daughter, at my ex-husband's home, even using his machine. But the peace and satisfaction from God surpasses the family issues and even the good feelings from being here. My thoughts of the OM are gone and when I try to recall feel only revulsion. This is a big step. <P>Please pray for me to continue to feel repulsed from evil. I also need prayers to feel drawn towards my husband. I am still working towards the marriage out of a sense of duty, not desire. I will not see him until Tuesday or Wednesday, and that will be quite soon enough for me. <P>If you could also pray for my husband to feel humble and less self-contained I would appreciate it. I don't know what it will take for him to own his weaknesses and emotions. He needs to consider the needs of others, and the effects of his behavior on others. <P>We are a long way from introducing God into his life, but that is always the goal. What a short cut that could be if he would see that God loves him as a son. Maybe if he has a son it will start him on that path.<P>------------------<BR>This is a temporary alias for "Karenna"

Despite my earlier post(burdens) I have to let you all know that God has been working wonders in my life and the enemy is just not impressed at all...<P>The Lord has shown me to run to him in times of need. To lean on Him, so receive comfort from him. <P>The Lord has given me a renewed love in my spirit for my husband and family. He has also given me a renewed sense of hope and dedication for our marriage. He has healed my heart from all the abuse in my life. I am so much happier.<P>See you all tomorrow for Chapter 1? POPW?<P>Mercy

I wasn't in a good place to fill in my update and prayer request for this week last night, so am doing it now.<P>Having a pretty hard bout of attackitis here and though I am smiling 'cause I know what it is, the tears still lie just beneath the surface. I think I feel like Jesus did when he looked down on Jerusalem in Luke.<P>LK 19:41 As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it [42] and said, "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace--but now it is hidden from your eyes. [43] The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. [44] They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you."<P>My heart hurts that my husband does not see this, that the enemy holds him in the areas of his mind and emotions, that if I switch my prayers away from this and pray for other areas of his life that old comes right back and it is worse than the time before.<P>I keep going back to the definition of love...<P>1CO 13:4 Love is patient,<P>Waiting for God, in his time, for His purpose, according to His will<P>love is kind.<P>Keeping the soft answer when I am not receiving the same, Speaking the truth in a respectful manner even though he is nasty and verbally abusive and it would b easier to say nothing.<P>It does not envy, <P>Hard one for me. I see so many good marriages around me, couples intent on being the clockwork team that we mentioned in one of the other posts yesterday. I sin here I guess. I want so badly to be one in Him.<P>it does not boast,<P>Hard one for my hubby. I know where whatever talents I have came from and I have to give Him credit. To do otherwise seems phony to me. I do brag about the Father, is that wrong to do? He is so incredible, I am so grateful that He is my dad.<P>it is not proud. <P>I suppose pride gets in the way of all of our relationships. I think this is one that I would like you guys to pray for clarity for me on. I think I will meditate on this and do some writing and see what the Lord reveals here.<P>[5] It is not rude, <P>I fail here too after listening to lots of verbal attacks. It is so easy to slip back into old habits, to slide a smooth kick in the groin when he least expects it. I know as soon as it is said and even if I apologize immediately, the damage is done, there is no forgiveness. <P>it is not self-seeking, <P>We are stuck here too. If it isn't hubby's way, then it is automaticially "my way". I keep asking " what about the Lord's way? What in your demands promotes 'us' rather than 'you'?" I'm so confused about this one!<P>it is not easily angered, <P>It does take a lot to get me to this place of anger, had too many things happen in the refining process. Lack of mutual respect or continuous violation of boundaries hurts so much. <P>it keeps no record of wrongs. <P>This is a funny one for me. Each day is a new day, new mercies are granted. I think I am surprised when the attacks come as before because I try to give him the benefit of doubt, because I wait in expectation for what the Lord is going to do in his life. I have tried to keep a list of "rights" so that in the process of trying to honor and respect him and respect the postion God has placed him in, I don't allow darkness to seep in.<P>6] Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. <P>The sermons we hear, incidences all around us all shout the truth and I want to scream, "Do you hear it? Halleluah!" but he doesn't hear it and he doesn't see it. Am I smug when this occurs? I hope not, I praise God for the truth, I pray that my hubby hears it with the truth intended, not with the Na,na,nana... that could be construed.<P><BR>[7] It always protects, <P>How am I protecting him? Used to think not being truthful was protecting since he lives in his emotions. Have to think about this one too I guess.<P>always trusts, <P>I don't trust, so I fail here too. I do not trust that he will protect me or keep me safe, etc. when he is in the "me" role, when all emphasis is on "his" needs to the exclusion of all else. When he identifies certain thngs as "needs" rather than lusts. When rather than a fine piece of china to be valued and cherished, I am treated more like some low priced call girl who dresses garishly and lets it all hang out, braless in see through blouses and a minskirt barely covering the rear, strutting in front of everyone, so he could say "wouldn't you all like to touch-it's mine!" <P>always hopes,<P>The Lord is my hope and my salvation. He is love, so how do I put this in a personal tone in relation to my husband? I hope he gets it together one of these days? I hope I can be strong enough to endure? I hope Jesus comes soon? I will take feedback on this one ladies, I think I am missing something here.<P>always perseveres.<P>Winners never say die? Quitters never win? Is this where my strong-willed nature is needed, in persevering? God never lets me go when I am being/doing stupid. He loves me in spite of me, ever faithful. the same each day.<P>1CO 13:8 Love never fails.<P>Lord, you never fail, but oh, I am floundering here in this battle. How do I love what desires to be loved in a way that is not honoring to you? When my offerings are never accepted and the criteria for acceptance is so seemingly narrow? Be my strength today, my mind and my heart. I hide in You, my refuge otherwise, I will not be the honoring daughter you would have me be. Protect me, show me Your vision, let me hear Your voice. Calm my spirit Father and let Your presence reign in this house today. IJN, Amen

Wow SueB. Great post!!! I like the way you added your thoughts on each definition of love. It made me see quite a few areas where I am failing at showing love. <P>Since I've been posting so much on the CA job thing, I won't hash it all over again here. <B>Just a quick update:</B> <P>H has chosen to go to CA to work. I am not ok with this, but am respecting his decision to go, praying that the Lord's will is done in this situation. Legal issues: H has court dates for May 9 and May 17, and is supposed to begin his court ordered Batterers Intervention Program on Tues. (tomorrow) night, the 2nd. I don't know if he is going or not. H is having minor health problems again - rash all over body that itches. Counseling sessions with Steve Harley are on hold until we know what the job schedule will be. We are to go over the Emotional Needs questionnaires before David leaves for CA. He has not I am trying very hard to stay focused on Jesus, and stop feeling that H is abandoning me and our marriage.<P><B>My prayer request:</B> God to continue calling David, softening his heart and preparing his heart to receive Him, David to be brought to brokenness before the Lord, truly repentant. For the Lord to use the upcoming events (CA and the court appearances) for His good and His glory, pray for born-again, Spirit-filled Christians to be placed in David's path, the Holy Spirit to place conviction upon David's heart at every turn and to fill his heart and mind with loving, happy thoughts of his wife. To give David a deep abiding love for me, his wife. And I pray the the Holy Spirit will be close to me during this trial, guiding my every thought and word. I pray for wisdom, and the ability to discern when the Lord is speaking to me. I pray for a glimpse of God's will for my life. I pray for the continued restoration of my marriage. Thanks Ladies. <P><p>[This message has been edited by Alcoholic's Wife (edited May 01, 2000).]

Here are some of the requests Cozy!

hi, just need to vent a little,<BR>trying to do everything right to get him to fall back in love, is causing me to feel like there is a knife twisting in my heart and I am not even allowed to say ouch!!!!! I am seeing small steps, and am grateful, there is no OW. But I am feeling so discouraged.<BR>I keep crying out to God, "What about me"<BR>I feel so selfish......................<BR>Please pray for me to find an outlet for these feelings other than my h, he can't help and it just makes him resent me. I am just so weary of being on hold. I am confused as to why I am having these feelings now, as h is being kind, more involved with the kids and I and seems generally less depressed, and hasn't gone anywhere, we are still in counsling. I am thankful for those things. I just feel like since I still love him, I have no rights,how I feel is not important. I am afraid of making him unhappy enough to give up on us,<BR>Sometimes I wish I could disolve into a pillar of salt like Lot's wife. I need prayers today, sorry for the dramma I just have the poor mee'ss.<BR>

Reading everyone's postes made me smile because I have had the exact same feelings at one time or another, sometimes within the same hour. I am very peaceful today. I am thankful for all the changes God is making in my marriage. I am more thankful for the changes he is making in me! I am no where near the place that I need to be, but I am working towards it. Even on bad days where I still experience set backs (not trusting in the Lord, manipulating, not acting loving, etc.) I try to see the lesson in it. There is a prayer that I say from the Women's Devotional Bible that puts things into prospective "Jesus stand beside me. Guide and Direct my Life. Teach me what I need to know. Help me with my work. Let me serve you and others, That I may be worthy of God's grace. I also try to remember that life is a journey and that all of these hurtful experiences help us along the way to a better place. God Bless us all!!!

My prayer request tonight is that God speak to me and let me know more about what to do with my marriage. I'm still unsure about which direction he is leading me. Do I hold onto hope for my marriage to Bob even though the divorce has started? Or do I let him go? Very unsure about that one! I do have complete faith that God can restore my marriage if it is His will, and sometimes I feel that I should be standing firm, but other times I don't think so. <BR>I also would like prayers for Bob's addiction to alcohol to be removed and for him to need to see our sons more often. I know God isn't done with him yet and He won't let up until He is.<P>Prayers to all,<BR>Mitzi

Well I have several requests. <BR>First I pray that I can sit at this computer for about 48 more hours and I should be done. My back is killing me from so much sitting.<BR>I ask a special prayer for my roommate from college, Carol. She will have breast cancer surgery on May 11th.<BR>I pray for my h. He was really (more than usual) depressed this last weekend. I know God is working with him<BR>(our date was a bomb in my book) I guess the ow had sensed him pulling away and they had talked just prior to us going out. Anyways he said Sunday he felt that everyone was pressuring him. So I layed back and he called tonight just to say hi. I think we have a date this Sat.<BR>So keep the pressure on Lord. I pray that God will surround him with Christians. I pray God will give him eyes to see and ears to hear God. I pray He will open Jack's heart to receive Jesus Christ again. I pray that God will light the fire of desire for Jesus in his heart. <BR>I praise God for continuing to change Jack's perception of me according to God's will. I praise God for increasing the desire in Jack's heart for his wife. <BR>I praise God for continung to sow seeds of discord between h and ow. I praise God for removing the ow completely out of h's life. I praise God for removing H completely from ow's life. I pray that what ever brought them together now seems repulsive to them both. <BR>I praise God for restoring this marriage.I praise the Lord, for He is God!