Boy sure had a lot of reading to catch up on! You all have been on my mind much and as your name came to mind, I prayed for you.<P>H did show up Friday night, same ole hard hearted, poor me attitude...that is until he has an audience and then he is Mr Wonderful! Only nasty or silent when we were/are alone.<P>Three of my children were able to attend and I was loved to pieces by my three grandchildren and that was great! The weekend itself was pretty harried and my dear strongwilled unsaved father pretty much alienated us all. Their anniversary party though, on Sunday was great! Saw Cousins I have not had contact with for over 25 years!<P>The business part of the trip continued clear up to the time we had to leave for the airplane and I am in awe at the blessing of work received! I probably received more contracts/ergo income greater than I made all last year, so that was really exciting and H even said it might be a good idea to go back a few times a year, which is a miracle 'cause he was having a cow about me going out there 3 days before he did. Don't know if that means I can go without him next time as he is back in the pouting/not talking mode.<P>Cozy, I read all your posts and I can relate greatly with you, especially since the trip to Calif. and knowing that my house sale should close on Friday and H wants to spend all that money. (House is mine from prior to marriage) <P>I want to honor hubby and he is making baby steps in regards to lifting a finger around here, but gosh! his motivation for doing so is so I will do what he wants, not because he cares, etc. So discouraging! He twists the Boundaries things as well. I set a limit for myself and he sets limits as well for my "non-compliance" which is not at all what I understand boundaries to be about.<P>Says he is angry that my parents were able to follow their dreams (to build the paddleboat) and he can't follow his dreams (to live in a nudist resort and follow that lifestyle) Can't hear that their dreams were something they decided to do together, that it wasn't one sided and the other better follow along.<P>Karenna, you asked if I was sure he was a believer. It isn't for me to judge I guess. He did ask Christ into his life as a young boy, I don't believe he has had the opportunity to grow in the Lord as I have had, but the Father deals with us individually I think. Maybe this is his time to grow. If so, all the more reason for me to learn how to honor in spite of himself. I must admit that the relationship seems to be deteriorating rapidly though. <P>He wants to be babyed, he wants me to fix everything so that he is always happy, he wants me to asume responsibility for his happiness and doesn't want to make tht choice for himself. It does make respect harder. I don't know how to empathize with him. I was raised that one couldn't complain about the problem unless they were willing to be a part of the answer. <P>He quit counseling and considers it psycho-babble. You can't fix somebody who doesn't want to be fixed. He has gained the 50 pounds back that he lost. Funny but physical attractiveness seems to be one of my things. <P>I can't stay sad, the Father has been so faithful in staying by my side, I have so much to be thankful for. There is a hope and a future that will erase all that I experience here. I don't know how to balance all this.<P>Anyways, I am home. I will get to reading, praying and posting! Missed you guys!

So happy to see you back and safe. I'm sorry that it wasn't a "warm and fuzzy" feeling ALL weekend. Just know we were all praying for you and your H. I'm glad he finnaly decided to go afterall. And the networking you did.... CONGRATS. You are deserving of all of it.

Oh SueB, It is so good to hear from you again!! (((((((ellen))))))) Sorry about H. Glad for your business. Hope you are really careful with the proceeds of your sale.<P>Reread the last few chapters of Boundaries again. How to live the principles with a spouse who is Boundary Resistant is very, very important. Made a world of difference to me. My H has been a totally different person for a whole week now. I have not the slightest complaint!! <P>We had a breakthrough when I got back from NY and he treated me less than warmly. The remodel is going very well, he is being kind, generous and respectful. No demands at all, just a few reasonable, very polite requests. He is trying to be tender, affectionate and nurturing. He actually listened attentively to me telling him about some of my spiritual experiences last Saturday night. <P>The book helped me organize my verbalization of my boundaries better and reach this breakthrough. Thank you so much for the tip. Hope you get a breakthrough of some sort soon. Be strong!<P>Love, <P>Karenna<P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

I am soooooo glad you're back!! <P>We sure missed you and all your great posts!<P>Happy reading,<BR>AW

Your hooooooooooome....... Im sure glad you are!!! Its so nice that all of us have you around to add to our group, I have discovered that each one of us is missed when we are absent for any amount of time.. God has put us all together for a reason! I am joyful for each one here thats adds so much to my life and growth in the Lord!<P>You seem to have an understanding of my life and husband, and that is encouraging to me, but at the same time it makes me sad, for I know how hard it is to live with a selfish, disfunctional baby <P>I guess its time to do Q11, my attitude stinks and I can't seem to verbalize the "why" to my husband correctly... He either doesn't hear or understand me <P>I really need to go get that boundaries book, maybe I'll do that today on my way to work...<P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

So glad you are back Sue!!<BR>Sounds like personally it was a great trip. <BR>I know how hard it is when they become so self centered. They want the world to fix them and make it all right but they are not satisfied with the way we attempt to do it. There is no pleasing them.<P>Today when h and I had lunch he said. I thought she could make me happy. I realize that isn't so and that only I can make myself happy. He pasued and then said. Okay you were right. I've been saying that for a long time. I said I also think she thought I was the source of your unhappiness. He agreed and that I am not.<BR>Also he said he was going to look for a smaller place. He said he didn't think he was ready to move home that maybe he needed to do what he originally intended to do, live on his own and learn a little about himself. I said I agreed and that until it was completly over he couldn't come home anyways. He said he understoood and agreed.<BR>He said he liked us dating and acting like teenagers, making out in the back of a cab. <P>So a break through.<P>Sue, I think you are doing a great job in a very hard position. It is so hard to draw boundaries when you keep getting verbal bashing for it. Hang tight as you have been, God is perfecting a beautiful work within you. He is working and building your trust in Him and your faith in HIm.<P>I admire all you who have really had to set boundaries and I know how hard it is. The verbal criticism does so much damage to your self esteem.<BR>I have found though the more I rely on God for my self worth, it is easier not to get discouraged. It has been a hard long road to get to this point. <P>Father, I lift us all up. Lord, we all need encouragement to seek You and to stay in You. Lord, when we do it puts a whole new light on any situation. Suddenly it just doesn't seem so bad. But Lord sometimes when the onslaught of verbal abuse is intense it is so hard not to be discouraged. Lord, wrap a hedge of thorns around all these beautiful women and protect them with Your armour against such garbage. Lord, help them everyday to know how beautiful You think they are. Thank You for Your strength, faith, love, comfort, joy, resilence, and hope. Without You I shutter to think where we would be. Lord touch all those that read this with Your love. Lord touach each h and recall, or call them to You. Lord they need You more then they know. Praise You Lord for the answers to these prayers. Amen

hw - WOW!!! I'm so excited about this recent breakthrough! PTL! PTL! PTL! <P>It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord can take a stone cold heart, soften it, and fill that heart with love. I am in awe of God for this miracle He is working in your husband's life. We have been praying that the Lord change your husband's perception of you and to see you in a new light. He has answered that prayer! And I know that He will keep answering our prayers. <P>Let's prayer harder and more intensely for these breakthroughs. I have a praise/answered prayer report too. My husband has not had a drink all week! PRAISE GOD!!! He told me this am that he was quitting drinking during the week. God is speaking to him, He is hearing our prayers and answering them!!!! <P>Dear Lord, wow, are we ever thankful for the answers to prayers!!! You are awesome Lord, You are almighty, the King of kings, Lord of Lords. We adore You and worship none before You. Thank You Lord for these miracles. We praise You Lord, and give ALL the glory to You. There are not words in our language that can express the deep gratitude and love we feel for You. We humbly bow down before you, praising YOu and worship You. Thank You Lord for being with each of us, every step of the way. Help us Father to stay continually focused upon You. You are our Light. In Jesus Name I pray, AMEN

AW:<BR>Wow, that is absolutely great. I will keep praying for him. I will ask God to wrap a hedge of protection around him. He is very vulnerable at this point as you know!! God is indeed answering our prayers.<P>Lord, Lord how awesome you are. Thank you for the answers to these prayers. By these changes in our h's it is obvious it is the work of the Master. These changes don't just happen in people. We give You the glory and all Praise. Lord, Thank you for, thank you. Lord I am speechless. I am just so thankful for these changes. Holy Spirit come upon David and Jack and reveal Yourself in such a way that they have to meet Jesus. Lord, show them the way to You. Show them Jesus. Surround them with Christian men and their testamonies. Lord, instruct them while they drive, walk, and even while they sleep. Lord protect AW as she drives to and from work this day Thank You. In Jesus name, Amen.

hw - thank you for your beautiful prayer! I'm praying in agreement with you. You are truly a gift from God to all of us, thank you so very much for being here!<P>Love and prayers,<BR>AW