I had been doing so well being strong and not asking questions, acting "normal". Tonight on our walk I started crying hard in front of him, I couldn't tell him what was wrong, until later, I tried to explain that it is all so confusing, I don't know how to act. I told him sometimes i feel closer, but tonight he seems a million miles away. <BR>he didn't offer much just listened, and when i initiated, we held each other for a long time. now i am afraid i have undone everything i have been working so hard at;I am so impatient,,,,,,,,,why couldn't I wait<BR> Dear God,<BR>I lift up all the ladies on this forum, who share this awful pain, I thank you for leading me here. Please undo what I have done, forgive me for taking this into my own hands, I wanted so to keep my sadness from him. It worked before when I ask you to take it for me, why........i chose another way this time, Lord, give me wisdom and patience continue softening Mike's heart, restore his love please, Amen <BR>thanks ladies fro listening

Father, our sister lays her heart open before you and us, an act of faith and according to Your Word, the right way to face her weaknesses. Father, build her up right now, take away all doubts and feelings of failure for they do not come from You. Let her mind dwell on her husband and the love he shared as he held her through her tears.<P>Restore this marriage and replace what the locusts have eaten. IJN, Amen.

Carol, don't beat yourself up over this. Maybe it was that he needed to know your feelings? During the last 7 months I have tried to always keep my feelings of hurt and sadness inside and never say anything negative to my husband. One nite when H was late coming home and drinking I just couldn't deal with it anymore and broke down, crying uncontrollably in front of H. Whenever I cry it makes him mad. Later on after I regained a little composure I apologized for breaking down like that and he told me that he did not want me to hold everything in, and to tell him if I was feeling bad about us. Except not to cry and sob when I tell him. Carol, everyone has feelings and emotions and sometimes they come to the surface. God can and will turn this around to the good. Just ask Him to.<P>Dear Father, we thank You this morning Lord for the work of restoration You are doing in this marriage. Thank You Father for helping Carol to release her emotions in a positive way that will compliment the work You are doing in her husband's life. Lord, please take any negative results of her breaking down and turn them around for Your good and Your glory. Give her Father composure, guide her every thought, word and deed. I pray that You will take ahold of her husband's heart, softening it, filling it with love and devotion for his wife Carol. Show him Lord how to love her as Christ loves the church and gave himself for it, as your word commands. Let him delight in Carol the wife of his youth. Thank You Lord for uplifting Carol today, giving her joy in her heart and love for You. I praise You Lord, IJN AMEN

Carol,<BR>I agree with AW. It is our instinct to want to protect our spouses. I know that my husband can not take too much emotional stuff, but if I tell him how I am feeling in a non emotional way he listens and can then accept it. If I tell him regularly when things are bothering me instead of holding it in it is easier not to break down. I realize now that when we keep parts of our selves from the other in the name of protection we are robbing each other of the opportunity to know another in an important and more intimate way. Mind you I am still working on this myself. But something I am committed to. It isn't always easy, but something to strive for.<P>Father, help Carol come to know You more intimately by opening up her pains, desire and anguish to You, Lord. Help her to lay it at Your feet first before she goes to her husband with it. Lord we rob the opportunity to be known and know each other in a deeper way when we hold things from each other in the name of protection. Lord, what a truely incredible God that we can come to know You in such a personal way. Thank you Jesus for that opportunity. Father, bring Carol comfort and the knowledge that You love her and that You will go before her in her relatiohsip with her husband and help her to draw closer to You and to her husband. Prepare her husband's heart to receive Carol and the knowledge of knowing her. Create in him a desire to know his wife in such a way. In Jesus name, Amen.