<B>18) Read Galatians 5:22, 23 and underline it in your bible. Do you have any habitually negative ways of responding to your husband that need to be changed?</B> YES<BR><B>What are these? Write them down.</B><BR>I show my hurt feelings too easily, I get defensive when he says something I interpret as belittling to me, I have a very difficult time trusting him.<BR><B>Ask God to give you revelation about this. Then write down next to them which fruit of the Spirit you need in order to eliminate the negative mindset and habits of response.</B><BR>Dear Lord, I pray that You will convict my heart whenever I am responding negatively to my husband, and guide me and teach me to response positively with love and kindness. Thank You Lord for helping me to develop the fruit of the Spirit. IJN AMEN<BR>I need longsuffering, more faith, spirit of meekness, kindness, and joy.

#18. Negative responses include: neglect, not caring at times.<P>I need more Goodness, Love, and Joy. I need to pray for the Spirit and ask for the specific gifts of the Spirit I seek. I need to stay in obedience and prayer and scripture that I may retain the Spirit.<P>Thanks AW!<p>[This message has been edited by Karenna (edited May 23, 2000).]

#18. <B>1Cor.14:12- So it is with you. Since you are eager to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church.</B><P><B>1CO 14:26 What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church.</B><P>I think the gifts of the Spirit that I need to cultivate are gentleness, kindness and self-control. <P>In giving a word of instruction, I think my husband perceives it as self-righteousness rather than in the spirit it is given. My joy comes across as the same way; in light of who God is, I find it hard to stay in the dumps. He is my song, He is so fantastic that I find it hard to cling to the garbage in my life. That is perceived as not caring and maybe in some ways it is, though I think it more valuable to realize what has been done for us in spite of us and of the kingdom being prepared for us as heirs to the throne. I want to strengthen my husband as the leader chosen by God for this family. That effort is maligned as some wicked, dastardly deed, some hidden agenda to control him like some puppet. My acts of kindness are not "good enough", even though verbalized as the type of kindness and love he desires. Lust is highest on his list apparently and all other love gifts are dismissed. They are perceived as tokens to pacify and perhaps in some ways they are but more they are given because he said these things were important to him.<P>Empathy fits in here somewhere too, but not sure where in line with the gifts. <P><p>[This message has been edited by SueB (edited May 23, 2000).]

18) I also find myself defensive. I get upset to quick, and I twist my husband words reading more into what he says. The devil is puts doubt and fear in my heart. I also have a hard time trusting my h, and I nag him alot sometimes. I pray for a uderstanding and trusting heart. Fill my heart with patience Lord and a meek and humble spririt.

<B>Q. #19 Read Proverbs 31:10-31 in your Bible. Ask yourself the following questions without expecting perfection:<P>a. Are you a trustworthy wife?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>Need improvement<P><B>b. Are you an asset to your husband?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>YES<P><B>c. Do you work diligently to make a home in which he can be comfortable and happy?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>need improvement<P><B>d. Are you careful and wise with money?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>yes<P><B>e. Do you take care of your physical health and appearance?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>need improvement<P><B>f. Are you a giving person?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>need improvement<P><B>g. Are you prepared for the future?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>need improvement<P><B>h. Do you make sure your family members have their needs met?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>need improvement<P><B>i. Do you generally move in wisdom?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>need improvement<P><B>j. Are you always loving and kind?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>need improvement<P><B>k. Is your relationship witht the Lord alive, intimate, growing and strong?<BR>____ Yes<BR>____ Need Improvement</B><P>need improvement<P><B>Without being hard on yourself, write a prayer asking God to help you with each area in which you need to improve and enable you to become the wife He wants you to be.</B><P>Dear Father in Heaven,<P>I praise thy holy name for the goodness and merciful Father thou art. Thank you for the blessings of family, home, work, and community.<P>I confess I have come short of the mark in so many many of my efforts to be a wife. <P>Please help me to be totally honorable and totally honest in all my interactions with others. Forgive me for any dissembling or mendacity I have indulged in.<P>Please help me to work harder to beautify this home. Give me the eyes to see each day the work that needs to be done to make it a wonderful home in which to dwell.<P>Please give me the energy and desire for exercise, that I may be a fit vessel to bear this child.<P>Help me to keep a more full storehouse, in every sense of the word, that we need never become a burden on others.<P>Bless me with a heart overflowing with compassion for others and gratitude and generosity.<P>Help me to be more attentive and prepared for the needs and schedules of each family member. Help me to be there for each of them as they need.<P>Give me strength to control my tongue, that I may hold it longer and only speak when moved upon by thy Spirit that the words may be wise for they come from thee.<P>Bless me with joy in thee, that I may sow the seeds of love and kindness. Help me to be filled with the Pure Love of Christ, that I may reflect thy perfect love to others.<P>Help me to always keep my face to thee and repent speedily of my failings. Please chastise me for my wrongs and keep me ever mindful of thy merciful love that awaits. Let thy word be joy in my heart and meat for my soul, and give me yearning to feast upon it that I may walk beside thee all the days of my life. Soften my heart and quiet my mind that my ears may more readily hear thy still soft voice. Help me to keep my committments to thee every day and be worthy of the many blessings thou hast given me. I know that thou art always near, and it is I who pulls away. Keep thy face towards me and let me not forget thee.<P>In the name of Jesus, the Messiah, Amen<P><BR>

<B>19) Read Proverbs 31:10-31 in your Bible. Ask yourself the following questions without expecting perfection:</B><P>a. Are you a trustworthy wife? Yes<P>b. Are you an asset to your husband? Yes<P>c. Do you work diligently to make a home in which he can be comfortable and happy? Yes<P>d. Are you careful and wise with money? Yes<P>e. Do you take care of your physical health and appearance? Need Improvement<P>f. Are you a giving person? Yes<P>g. Are you prepared for the future? Yes<P>h. Do you make sure your family members have their needs met? Yes<P>i. Do you generally move in wisdom? Need Improvement<P>j. Are you always loving and kind? Need Improvement<P>k. Is your relationship witht the Lord alive, intimate, growing and strong? Yes<P><B>Without being hard on yourself, write a prayer asking God to help you with each area in which you need to improve and enable you to become the wife He wants you to be.</B><P>Dear Lord, thank you for the blessings You have given us. We are so grateful for all You do. Lord, I pray that You will guide me in my walk with You, molding me each day to more closely be the image of You. Father, help me to be a kinder, meeker, gentler wife, the kind of wife You want me to be. Please give me an extra measure of Your wisdom, Lord. I pray that you will let Your words flow through me. Father, help me to find the time to fix my appearance each day before my husband comes home from work, in the manner that would be pleasing to him, and You. Thank You Lord, for working in my life, molding and changing me. IJN AMEN<BR>

<B>20) Pray the prayer out loud on pages 44-46 in POPW. Include all the specific needs, desires, and hopes from your own heart.</B><BR>Thank you Lord for allowing us the opportunity to work on our marriage. Lord, help me to be a good wife, the kind of wife You want me to be. I cannot do it myself, I need You to guide me and mold me Lord. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, meekness, and willingness to bear our burdens. Please mold me Lord into the Christian You want me to be. <P>Lord I ask that You would fill my heart to overflowing with joy, peace, and love. I am unable to fill it myself, I need You to help me, and to transform me. Show me Lord where I have sinned, especially with regard to David. I confess the times I have been accusatory, resentful, disrespectful, angry, and negative towards him. Help me Lord to overcome all the hurt of the past years, forgiving him the way You do, not looking back. Let me be a tool of reconciliation in our marriage, a beacon of Your light, so that he may be won without a word. <P>Lord, please mold me into my husband's helpmate, companion, supporter and friend, and help me be submissive to him as You intend me to be. Make me the kind of woman he can br proud to say is his wife.<P>Lord I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to know what these areas are. Help me to accept him the way he is, and help me to leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands. I turn him over to You, Lord. He is Your precious child, and my trust is in You for his salvation. <P>Lord, teach me how to pray for my husband the way You want me to. Lord, please love my husband through me. I pray that You will bring us closer together, and closer to You. Please fill my husband's heart with love for me, the wife of his youth. Help us Lord to become fully united as one, according to your will. Make us a team pursuing togetherness, working together for the good of our family, and marriage. May we be "perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment" 1 Cor 1:10 I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable David to be the spiritual head of our home as You expect him to be, and show me Lord how to support and respect him when he becomes the Spiritual head of our home. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arive. Please breathe Your life into our marriage. <P>Father, I pray that you will make me into a new person. Give me a new, positive outlook, a clean heart, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me to see him the way You do, and to appreciate and love him the way You do. Let me be as a new wife to my husband Lord. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the restoration of our marriage Lord. You are my savior, my redeemer, and I will love and worship You now and forever more. IJN AMEN

<B>Q 20</B><P>Dear Heavenly Father,<P>Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to work on our marriage. Lord, help me to be a good wife, the kind of wife You want me to be. I cannot do it myself, I need You to guide me and mold me Lord. Take my selfishness, impatience, distractibility and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, meekness, committment, focus and willingness to bear one another's burdens. Please, Lord, mold me into the Christian You want me to be. <P>Lord, I ask that You would fill my heart to overflowing with joy, gratitude, goodness and love. I am unable to fill it myself, I need You to help me, and to transform me. <P>Show me, dear Father, where I have sinned, especially with regard to my husband, A. I confess the times I have been negligent, resentful, disrespectful, selfish and negative towards him. Help me to overcome all the hurt of the past years, forgiving him, and myself, the way You do, not looking back. Let me be a tool of reconciliation in our marriage, a beacon of Your light, so that he may be won without a word. <P>Lord, please mold me into my husband's helpmeet, companion, supporter and friend, and help me be submissive to him as You intend me to be. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.<P>Lord I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to know what these areas are. Help me to accept him the way he is, and help me to leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands. I turn him over to You, Lord. He is Your precious child, and my trust is in You for his salvation. <P>Lord, teach me how to pray for my husband the way You want me to. Lord, please send thy love for my husband through me, that I might feel it too and we both be edified together. I pray that You will bring us closer together, and closer to You. Please fill my husband's heart with love for me, and my heart with love and affection for him. <P>Help us, Lord, to become fully united as one, according to your will. Make us a team pursuing togetherness, working together for the good of our family, and marriage. May we be "perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment" 1 Cor 1:10 I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable my husband, A, to be the spiritual head of our home as You expect him to be, and show me Lord how to support and respect him when he becomes the spiritual head of our home. Plant thy word and commandments in his heart. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arive. Please breathe Your life into our marriage. <P>Father, I pray that you will make me into a new person. Give me a new, positive outlook, a clean heart, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me to see him the way You do, and to appreciate and love him the way You do. Let me be as a new wife to my husband. <P>I thank you for the restoration of this marriage, Lord. You are my savior, my redeemer, and I will love and worship You now and forever more. <P>In Jesus' holy name, AMEN.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Karenna (edited June 04, 2000).]