Karenna, What books are you referring to? I am not sure about the chapter "Change me". Did I miss something here ? Today was a bad day.Came upon some e-mails that was sent to ow. Oh boy he is groveling for the ow to be with him and It was truly disgusting to read all of the e-mails that my h has sent to ow and use a lot of endearments that we used for each other the last 25 yrs to her. It made me siccccck!

navyblue,<BR>I am sorry you had such a bad day today. How awful to read the things he sent to her.... remember though that he is living in fantasyland and is unable to think or act sanely during this. Must be 'get attacked by the enemy day'. I will pray for you tonight and will lift you up in prayer tomorrow at church. Read Malachi 2:14-16. It will help. The Lord will protect you and take care of you. <P>God bless you,<BR>AW

navyblue,<P>Reread the introductions and first chapter of <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1565075722/103-7138528-7206257" TARGET=_blank>The Power of a Praying Wife</A>.

I will get the book on popw. It has been a tough weekend. H just shows up at the house and it bothered me that he did not have the consideration tio call me ahead of time so I can be prepared emotionally and mentally. I love busted on him when he walked in. Why do I keep doing that? I want him back and into the family but I know I am not going to get him back if I keep lb. Give me some clues on how to keep my mouth shut and show a cheery dispositon. It is truly hard. I have read the book hnhn and saa and numerous books. Am I that bitter to keep doing that . Will I get over that hump and be a sweetheart. In my everyday life with others I am that but not with my H. HeellllllP!!

Dear navyblue,<P>The good news is that your lovebusting means that you are still emotionally involved in the relationship. The worst of the affirmative LB's often pretty much stop on their own when you go in to withdrawal.<P>Look inside your heart, go on your knees and ask God to give you perspective on your own faults and failings. Humility is the best medicine for uncontrolled lovebusting. Ask your husband for forgiveness. <P>But you have to really know the fundamental wrongs of which you are guilty. From my experience and what I have heard from others, the presenting problem, or immediate LB behavior may not be the true wrong for which you need to repent! Ask God, go to your Bible and see what it opens to. Exercise faith. <P>Karenna<P>Dear Heavenly Father, <P>We ever praise thy name and glorify thee above all the heavens and earth. Thank you for being there for navyblue! Thank you for keeping her husband involved in her life. <P>Please bless them both to see themselves as you see them. Help them to feel thy love. Gently show them where they each need to grow. Please convict her husband's heart that he needs to honor his marital vows. <P>Bless navyblue that she will soften her heart to thy word, and to her husband that she may answer softly and know when to be still and turn to thee. <P>In Jesus' name, Amen.

Hang in there, Navyblue. As hard as it is, don't give in to Love Busters.<P>And hold on to your self respect, as well. DO NOT weep, grovel, or plead in front of your husband. Ironically, the more you attempt to hang on to him, the more desperate he will feel to get away. You MUST collect yourself whenever you see or speak to him, act as if you have it all together, and behave as the worthy, dignified person YOU ARE!!!<BR> <BR>May I suggest Dr. James Dobson's book LOVE MUST BE TOUGH: NEW HOPE FOR FAMILIES IN CRISIS. He explains much better than I can how respect is lost in marriage, how the wandering partner unfairly blames the abandoned parter (though even Dobson acknowledges there is usually some measure of shared blame) and how you can rebuild your husband's respect for you during this time of crisis.<P>Stand up tall. Rely on God. You can't control what your husband does, but you can control what YOU do. Read Dr. Harley's site to see how you might have failed to meet your husband's needs (I don't mean for that to sound critical of you) and Dr. Dobson to see how to handle yourself in a time of marital crisis.<P>I don't get to log on here very often, but I wish you all the best, and I will pray for you. My H moved out several wks ago (no other woman that I know of, but we had a history of escalating conflict and love busters). The first month I thought I would die; this second month God has given me a peace I never thought possible. I can't control what my husband does. But by working on MYSELF and leaning on the Lord, I will come out okay no matter what my H decides. <P>Not said lightly--we have small children who cry for their daddy. But God can hold you up, he really can.<P>And by the way, you might want to see your doctor about taking a mild anti-depressant during this time. That, and get rest, exercise, eat right, and do things you enjoy. If you begin taking extra good care of your body and soul, you can calm down and think more clearly about your marriage and hear God's message to you about how to handle the situation. <P>Prayers.

Holly ann Your message to me was qute powerful and I appreciate your time in replying this.For the first time yesterday I told my husband he was not to come for dinner because I had friends coming . By his facial expression he was taken back and orginally I was going to go to the conference this summer and leave the kids with him but he hinted that he was going to use it against me in the "divorce proceeding' So I changed my tune and said I am taking them with me as a vacation/business. He acted like he didn<BR>t care but I think he was taken back. I don't want to read too much into this but. At the moment I just don't trust him. Thanks for your insight again.Please be my support person on the pc.

It's been a tough week. I went counseling and Husband has taken all my credit cards anway nad canceled them with out my permission and cancelled our joint account. He really wants out of the marriage . Says he will go counseling just to satisfy me and better bring paper and pencil so he can tell my why he wants out of the marriage. It is allmy fault that he go into the affair for 1 1/2 and he is still inlove withow. Got a hold of his e-mail to ow 14 pages and he is groveling for her and sounded like a lovesick pupppy or a bad novel. Wants a baby with her , will support her finanially etc etc. It made me realize what he really gotinto Please pray that things will not go his way and when we go sounseling that my counselor willhave the strength to open his eyes that he is being a fool and childish to do what he is doing and giv me the strength to be able to handle his comments about how I "ruined" his life He doesn't realized that I have been unhappy for so long too but he wouldn't listen.

Dear Heavenly Father, <P>Thank you for all the miracles thou hast wrought in the hearts of thy children here. Some of us are in joy and blessings at this time, and some of us are in excruciating emotional pain. We bless thee for the many angels, seen and unseen, who attend thy children in their trials.<P>Please bless all the dear sisters here whose husbands are lost, and confused, and wandering in strange paths in opposition to thy word and will. I lift them to you in prayer this Sabbath day, that they might be comforted by thy Spirit. Please speak to each of them a warm message of love that they may know of a surety that they are loved, at this very moment, more intimately by thee than any earthly husband possibly can.<P>We are mindful of all the blessings thou hast given us. Life, love, friends, family, faith, fellowship and the opportunity on this earth to make a difference. Please help us to each count our blessings and give thee thanks every day.<P>In the name of Jesus Christ, our Master, Amen.

I don't know what to say I feel like I am giving up. H has completley ignored me and now has placed our children 2nd. H was supposed to have daughter for the night but His ow became available and chose to be with her. H told daughter he had to give a talk and after picking up daughter from an activity she asked to go by daddy's apt and lo and behold ow and his car was there. She was crushed. H is still lying to us and my kids. Life sucks at the moment. Planning a family vacation and one day outings for the kids. Started to chat on line with different people on icq I get a lot of support and weirdos but it's company, adult company. Emotions are crazy. I feel like a slut looking for other relationships cuz I feel he wants nothing to do with me Ow much more important now and I am trying very hard to stay in Plan A. I am in the angry mode and the unforgiveness mode. So I need all the prayers I can get and I am praying hard just hope not for the wrong reasons.