I have been praying for my H and for the resoration of my marriage. I have been trying to practice the MB principles (I'm in Plan A). I have told him that I will wait for him and that I want him to come home (he moved out in January). He never calls...we have very little contact.<P>Now I'm afraid that if he did want to come home, do I WANT him to come home? I've realized thru all this that it wasn't just me who brought the marriage down....he did too. He was into porn on the internet, on cable TV, e-mailing old girl friends from high school (said this was totally innocent, which I think it was, but I also think it contributed to his feeling that there must be more out there). <P>Sometimes I think there is just too much that needs to be fixed for it to ever work again. I know God is a big god....but my desire is just totally waining....I have no feelings one way or another about him right now.<P>I totally believe in marriage and in the commitment I made to him. But I really don't know what I'd do if he said he wanted to come home.<P>Do you guys think that God would renew my feelings for him if that happened? I'm just trusting that He will. <P>Thanks.<BR>Mrs.O

Renewed feelings are not automatic. I am having to pray fervently for that blessing and am still exercising faith and hope. And my H is trying pretty hard now.

Mrs. O<BR>absolutely. They say how you think is how you feel. I di believe this. But yes it does take a while. I also think there is a reason you are weary and at then end. God. God wants you to come to the end also, so He can work through you. <BR>I have had these same fears and doubts. But I know that God can and will and does accomplish this. There is no doubt in my mind. You are right when you say our God is a big God. Yes HE is, an nothing is impossible. It is our own hardened hearts that get in the way. Ask the Lord, to change you and slften your heart toward your husband. This is not easy, but through Christ it is possible.<P>Father,<BR>we thank You for Your faithfulness when ours is weak. We thank You that You never forsake us and always have time for us. Thank You that You do not change or vary like we do. Your promises always stand. Praise You, Lord for that. Father, lift this sister up into your loving arms and reassure her that if You plan to restore her marriage then You will also restore her feelings a long with her husband's feelings. You never do half a job, your work is always completed. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Thanks Ladies...You are right...as far as I think I've come in this and as many of the MB principles that I think I've practiced, I still have some anger and resentment towards him for not taking any responsibility in the downfall of the marriage. I worry about him coming back and not having been changed too.<P>Thanks for your prayer. I know and will continue to try to let go and let God. I need to keep turning to Him for the answers.<P>Thanks.<BR>Mrs.O

I can understand how you feel. Sometimes you do get weary, waiting on the Lord. I know I have. When I do, I come here and pray with others or ask for prayers, or call my prayer partner from church and we pray together in agreement. I always feel better with a renewed hope. And yes I believe the Lord will restore those feelings to you when He feels the time is right. Maybe you are feeling less loving towards your husband right now because the Lord is trying to protect your heart. I think that is what happened to me right after we separated. I didn't miss my husband at all, and had no desire to see or speak to him for the 2 months we were separated. I felt numb inside, although I know I never stopped loving him, it was just not the intense love I felt when we were together. After he asked if I wanted to work things out and get back together, the feelings of deep love I have for him came back. The Lord was protecting my heart from any more pain. <P>I believe the Lord placed love in my husband's heart for me while we were apart. He couldn't stand me during the time of his affair, and would not so much as talk to me before we separated. For the first 6 weeks we were apart he told everyone that he was through with me, didn't love me, didn't even like me and wanted a divorce. All of a sudden he changed his mind and his heart. Well, I should say the Lord changed his mind and his heart for him. When I ask him now why he all of a sudden wanted to come home, his answer is "I don't know". God told him to. <P>So I guess my point is don't worry about your feelings for your husband. The Lord will restore them to you when he comes back. "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Gal 6:9<P>You're in my prayers Mrs. O. <P>AW <BR>