I must just be very weak. I know God is working in my marriage but I get so disappointed when one thing goes wrong...I let it ruin a week's worth of good.<P>H and I drove to Atlanta yesterday to see FIL..the same one FIL who slammed me verbally to get this whole affair set up months ago.....and he seems (seemed at lunchtime anyway) to feel bad about having caused such a wedge beteeeween us. Said he was advising H to love and respect his wife and family. H was a precious jewel all day...attentive, sweet, etc (also had been that way all week at the many social functions we've been to during vacation.)<P>However, while we were at dinner, H left the table...i assumed to go to the bathroom...then when we got back to the hotel, I went to the bathroom, and when I returned he was writing a note andputting it in an envelope. When i got near, he covered it and shooed me away. It really hurt my feelings. Then he gave the envelope to his dad, and as we were leaving also gave his dad a box of prescription pills for stomach problems (from Colombia)that someone had given him right after OW miscarried. They tried to be slick, but I am not stupid. I checked the cell phone, and sure enough, he had called OW when he left the table at dinner.<BR>I got very quiet after this, which H noticed immediately and was very concerned with. He came and put his arms around me as if to comfort me, and was overly accommodating all the way back home.<P>I should be happy that he was with me all week, and has only called her Thursday of last week, Sunday and Wednesday (a definite decline in frequency) I should be happy that he seemed concerned about how the note writing affected me. I should be happy that even though she evidently needed these pills, he hasn't taken the time to send them to her though he's had them 2 weeks or more.<BR>But it made me so sad that he had to have contact with her right in the middle of us having such a great week together.<P>My gut feeling, with the way he is treatig me, is that these are loose ends that he's tying up with her. But it doesn't make it easier.<P>Pray with me tha God will give me the strength to deal with this ending phase. I know he will, but right now it seems so hard.

I'm probably not the one to encourage you at the moment, since I have felt very weak also. I think though we have to expect these little set backs. I think you are right about the tying up of loose ends, it sounds like it. It appears that he is really coming around for you. <BR>In all my recent struggles, God keeps pressing on me from all directions, give it up (that means for me, obsessing about it and trying to talk h into anything) and just give it to him and pray, wait and praise God.<BR>I am trying to stay close to God and just pray and praise Him. On Sunday and recently it seems God has really moved everyone away from me, meaning my friends are busy and h is distancing himself from me again. I think this is an affirmation of what I said above. He wants to isolate me (sort of) so there is nowhere to turn but Him for comfort, direction, and friendship. I also think ( as I have thought before) that God really wants to show through the restoration of this marroiage, what prayer can do and that He is the one who restores, not anything I do.<BR>When I did talk to h today he said that he had called an old friend ( a strong Christian man) for some advise for a friend. Anyhow I had just prayed for old friends (Christian) to call. I don't know if God has a plan for this, but I will wait and see how he uses it.<BR>Emptyinside, this is hard. But put your trust in God and determine not to get caught up in every little twist and turn, I know I have done that in the past. It is not easy, but it doesn't change anything, and just increases the pain.<BR>I will pray in agreement with you.<P>Father,<BR>I praise You that You are waiting to give emptyinside Your strength for the ending part. She just needs to come to You and cry out for You, Lord. Help her, draw her to You and then let Your strength pulse through her veins, strengthening her resolve to keep her eyes on Jesus. praying and praising You, Lord. Move her h to totally give up all contact with the ow. Let there be no lingering emotional ties and communication. Let it be a clean break and permanent. Then according to Your great wisdom and grace, rebuild this marriage according to Your specifications. In Jesus name, Amen.

RO 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.<P>2Cor 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.<P>1 Cor 1:27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. <P>2 Cor 12:10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.<P>Father, thank you that in our weakness, your glory will prevail in our lives. Thank you for the reminders that the evil one has no power in our lives and that his whispers regarding our weaknesses are just lies and we are victorious in you more so in our weaknesses for then there are no doubts about where the power comes from. <P>We thank you for these opportunities for gaining perseverence and continuing to grow in you. Help us to remember that trials such as these are joyous though painful occasions, for our faith and hope is in you only, and you have already promised the victory. Thank you Father for loving us in spite of ourselves, for the unconditional love that overlooks our flaws and sees Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.<P>Use this time to build us in your image Father, give us your mindset, gather us in your arms and hold us tightly as we trust by faith and rest in you, waiting expectantly for what you have promised. Our joy comes in the morning Father, let us see this whole day as a new dawn breaking and let our joy flow out over all we come in contact with. IJN, Amen

oops, duplicate<p>[This message has been edited by SueB (edited July 08, 2000).]

I gotta tell you ladies that that previous prayer kind of tuck with me all day yesterday. Every nasty comment thrown my way seemed to bring a smile as the Spirit would remind me. My husband thinks I am happy that he is so miserable and my heart hurts for him that he choses to cling to these false things for his happiness. I am not sure how empathy is to be expressed. I prayed a lot for the Lord to help me to speak the truth in love, to be guarded in my choice of words, etc. To clearly define where my hope is and the vision I see of our marriage with the Lord. <P>It was interesting. A lot of verbal abuse that had no impact would be replaced with a few kind words and the expectation that I would then change my mind and give him what he wanted. I gently confronted that and this truth would make him angry all over again. It was a long day, but God is so good and faithful. <P>HW, Be strong my sister and do not call Jack. Let him wonder why you didn't call him, let the spirit eat at him as he spends the day with the one who will not make him happy, so that the spirit can put thoughts of you in his path...<P>Emptyinside, be encouraged my sister that God's plan for your marriage will prevail. <BR>JAS 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.<P>God will crown your efforts as you seek his face and continue to become the wife and woman God wants you to be. That you are able to be vulnerable in front of your husband so that he knows how his behavior affects you is good. That he can reach out and comfort you when he sees what he is doing to you is also good. <P>James 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.<BR> <BR>Father, continue to bind the evil one in this marriage, let this husband feel no responsibility for this OW, let him experience your peace and release of the ties that bind. Fill him with awe at the gift you have growing in the womb of his wife and let their love grow greater than anything either one of them could have imagined. IJN, Amen.