hubby in back thick with the ow. We talked briefly today and he kept saying, I moved out remember. Said he was faking it and couldn't keep the act up. Usually it turns out not to be the case, but that is how he fells at the moment. I think I made a mistake suggesting we do something on Sat or Dunday for our anniversary. He is busy Sat night and may go see the ow again over night (business trip) on Sun night our actual wedding anniversary, Ouch! that hurts. <BR>Anyways I hope I can hold it together.<BR>On the other hand I believe that God (for the millionth time, thank God He has patience with me) is telling me to let go and say nothing more and just pray. I wish I didn't keep having to learn this.<BR>So unless he calls and says something further about Sat brunch, I am praying I won't break down and call. I am also thinking about going off somewhere with God for Sunday. I'm not sure I can sit home.<BR>Well, this is a downer. Didn't mean it to be. I am praying only that God's will be done and that I stay close to Him, trusting, waiting, praying and praising. He is so good. Talk about a whinner, Sue, guess I win the award for the night.<BR>Thanks for your prayers. You are all so faithful. Cyber tea next Tuesday? can't believe I missed it.

Wrote to you in the other thread but wanted to get extra hugs in here.<P>An additional thought occurred to me a bit ago.<P>1PE 3:4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.<P>By not calling him, by resting in the Lord and pusuing his best for you, his peace, his strength, etc. two things will happen....<P>PR 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.<P>He is going to give you great joy and the ablity to smile at the trials that are put in your way AND....when your hubby does see you again and you are not falling apart or chasing him, giving him reasons to cling to what he should not be clinging to...when he sees the peace and the gentleness of spirit, he again will wonder what the heck he is doing....Halleluah my Lord! You are an incredible God. Keep Cindy's eyes focused on you alone, let her shine your light around her and let her husband feel the warmth of its beams so that he craves for more and more let him sense that difference in his wife, let him see your kind of love and hunger with an insatiable appetite. IJN, Amen.

Thank you so much Sue,<BR>It has been quite a few days. The Lord, has really gotten me alone and showed me how MUCH I had made an idol out of my husband and the marriage. I was so far gone I could not see it. As I was saying I have faith, it was my will not my heart. I realized last night after God broke me, or pulled me out of the pit just how much I was trying to do on my own. The funny thing I realized is I have been praying that God would draw me closer. Some how though I am surprized when He does it. He had to get my will out of the way. A painful but unburdening process. Afterwards when I started to realize this and I was on my knees praying I could imagine Jesus on His knees next to me praying with me with His arm around my shoulders, I cried more at that. <BR>Your encouragement is helpful. I just so want to stay in Jesus and not wander again or take things into my own hands. If it is God's will for my h to come back then He will and if not I accept this too. I read in Catherine Marshall's book that we have to face what we fear most and then accept it. That is what happened to me. I was no longer fearful of losing my h. Not because he is coming back, but because I want God's will for my life and what will be will be. I want God's best, and only He knows what that is and how to give it to me. I praise the Lord, for His persistence in coming to get me. I felt like the prodigal returning myself.<BR>Pray, praise and wait on the Lord. I also read something neat in another book today. "Space limitations in no way affect God, for He is spirit. God also exists outside of space and is not subject to its limitations. God is not contained in space (like our spirit is by our body while we live on earth, like an embryo is in the womb). It is just the opposite; it is 'space' that is inside God! "In Him we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28). "In Him all things hold together" (Col 1:17).<BR>Becoming aware that God is always with you, you never need fear darkness or circumstances. In thy presence there is fulness of joy" (Psalm 16:11) <BR>So God is working in me changing me and drawing me closer to Him as I asked. I just didn't recognize it at first. It is painful to shed those strongholds that are so deeply rooted. Like having a root canal of the heart!!<P>Thanks for the encouragement it meant so much.

Hw, I'm praying for you. Sunday or today is my b-day. I would be so blessed with one rose from my husband today as over the last 23yrs he has given me dozens and I feel I may have taken some for granted. My husband came over the other night was drunk and he told our son in law and a friend he would come home right then but I said he had to give up his girlfriends. I keep praying for him and I will be praying for you, In Jesus name I pray amen.

Brown,<BR>A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU<P>I was writing before and got completly kicked off line. I hate that.<P>I am praying that your husband does remember you with many roses today. But remember more even if he doesn't that Jesus hac dozens waiting to give you. He is our husband, lover and savior. He died for us and wants us to have the best. The Lord has been working on my heart so much these last three weeks. Seek Him and all else willbe added. This has been a painful experience, but a joyful one.<BR>A week ago I was standing feeling so low and then just like in the Psalm, I remembered my Lord. Who do I need if He is with me. It still took me through thursday or so to really feel like I was shedding some of the strongholds that God was pulling from my life.<P>Brown I am praying that you have a wonderful day. Today is my anniversary and I do not expect my h to call or anything actually I think he went to see the ow today. <BR>However, the Lord is keeping me close to Him. I praise the Lord, that He cares that much for us and for me who so easily turns my back on Him.<P>Father, <BR>I pray for all the women and men whom for today is an otherwise special day. I pray that You fill them with Your love and ease the pain that their spouses heep on them. Father, who do we need when we have You in heaven loving us and saving us with Your son, Jesus Christ. I praise You Lord for your attention to detail. I praise You that You see us and care so much for us. Inviting us everyday into a relationship with You. Oh, God what a mighty God you are. I praise You from the tops of mountains into the deepest of valleys. You are Lord, help us to be still long enough to say, Yes, You are Lord of my life today and evey day. Lord, please come into our hearts and fill themwith Your perfect love that leaves us completley satisfies. Give us Your living water,Jesus so we will no longer be thirsty for the things of this world, but rather for You, alone. In Jesus name, Amen.

HW,<BR>I wishing you a HAPPY ANIVERSARY, somewhere in the back of your husbands mind, I'm sure he remembers and is thinking of it. Your in my prayers. Have a wonderful day.

Hw,<BR>I wanted to share with you, as you know I prayed for my husband to give me a rose for my b-day, Well the card has a rose on the front of it. Thank You God.

Brown,<BR>That is great. I hope the card was filled with sweet sentiments and much love. It is from Jesus.

Hw,<BR>Yes it was a beautiful card. He even signed it love, its hard to believe and I felt so blessed by it, on our anniversary he took the ow out to dinner.