Ok I have forgiven, but as you all know the distrust won't go away. He reasure's me constanly, but he is always late. anywhere from 30 min to 3 hrs late. He does work a job where this could be possible, but who knows. Should I be worried? See I am right back to that place of wanting to call the OW. I have taken his word as gold that he is not or has not seen her in months. And he has done nothing but lie. Oh gosh here I go again.<BR>Anyway should I be worried???????????<BR> I have also found myself reading another message board where they have a section for the OP to post. THis has helped in getting me all riled up. They all say that their MM has told his W it was over when the whole time they were still seeing eachother. Have any of you been through that, where after everything you find out they are still seeing OP. Please Help I am falling in that pit again, I am gonna have to call it home soon I am so frequent there. LOL> <P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

When he is late, is it possible for you to drive by OW's place? Unfair accusations hurt the relationship but if it happening you need to know. I also went other bords that let OP post. After reading at THE OTHER WOMAN site I felt better as most of them were miserable. It was also hmorous as there were a few reality attacks. I suspect some wives were posting. It's hard to remember, but as WIVES we have priority when they sneak. The OP posts made me realize that.<BR>I wish mine would sneak. He is blatently with her and says they are just friends, he thinks he might want out of our marriage for reasons that have nothing to do with her. (Perhaps getting caught?)<P>Back to real topic. On another site the female half of therapy team said the betrayer's concern for the insecurity and reassurance of the betrayed was a major hallmark for the hope of the relationship recovering. I keep asking myself if my husband can be so clueless as to how his disrespect as to my felings is hurting me and our future chances and I truly don't know if he is being a total jerk or unaware of the impact. At least your husband is trying to save the marriage. Mine is remaining in noncommittent to being in or out and it is driving me insane but having him in and lying would be another horrible nightmare.<P>Melissa<p>[This message has been edited by Callie (edited November 29, 1999).]

Have you discussed this with H? Let him know that you truly want to trust him, but there is "something" you feel inside. Let him know how his being late is bothering you.<P>Trust is something you have to earn, not just give freely. Would you give $50 to someone on the street corner to deposit in the bank for you? No way! How about someone you have known for a long time and has never let you down in any way? Probably.<P>He has betrayed your trust & he needs to prove to you he is trustworthy again. Do it gently & with no Llove busters.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Callie, I am sorry to hear of your situation. And I dont' think they are thinking at all about the pain they cause us while doing it.<P>Chris, You are right. I have tried to talk to him about my feelings, but he just thinks oh its been a month I should be over it. Well I guess since the affair was only 2 weeks that is as long as my pain should last. HAHA.<P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

I think you need to get to the bottom of this.... Do you know where this OW lives? Can you drive by her house to see if your H's car is there?<P>I know this sounds sneaky, but sometimes we have to nip things in the bud before they spin out of control.<P>Best of luck to you...