In my previous passage, I wanted to know your opinion on whether I should speak to my leaders concerning my husband. I had one reply that stated I should not. My husband goes to them all of the time and tell of occassions where I blew it, and I don't handle situations the way that I should. Because I'm not saying anything to them. It looks to them as though I am the one that is creating the problems in our marriage. Should I let them continue to think these things and just continue to pray, or should I tell them.

Hi Shanese- the thing to think about in this process, for my pastor says that my next step may also be the Matt. 18 process, is that you must be very clear about what your husband's sin is, what you have told him in regarding to this sin, how you have attempted to resolve the issue, etc. You must chose the two or three others that you feel are upright brothers and sisters and who would be fair in supporting you as you confront your husband, that they may be witnesses to your telling him what the sin is, how you are affected, what you would like to see differently and above all how much you love him and have the desire to work towards reconcilliation in your marriage. Are you willing to do that? God tells us not to repay evil with evil, so you must really search your heart with the Spirit's guidance as to your purpose and expectations.<P>The reason I asked you to read the Boundaries thread was because God is really convicting many of us of the need to remove our own logs, before we try to remove splinters from our husbands. In the process of doing the Matt 18 thing, you must be able to identify the areas that you yourself are struggling with, owning those things that are yours, for just as you can address his sins in front of others, he has the same opportunity to address yours at the same time. The goal is not to get some kind of offensive/defensive thing going where you need a mediator, but out of a genuine love and concern for your husband, you want these things out in the open so that nothing is hidden.<P>I truly wasn't trying to ignore your last post. I just want you to be ready, in season, if you choose to do this, to really be aware what your motives are.<P>Will be praying for you.

Shanese, I will be praying for you today also. SueB has given great advice. <P>Dear Lord, thank you for being right in our midst whenever we call upon You. Thank You Father for taking care of Shanese, guiding her throughout the decision making process she is in. Lord, may the Holy Spirit guide her every thought, word, and action. I pray that Shanese is protected from all attempts by the enemy to defeat her, and ask that a hedge of protection be placed around her. Please speak to her husband's heart Lord, revealing his sin to him, drawing him even closer to You. Thank You Lord for your divine intervention. IJN I pray, AMEN