I have been married for thirteen years. Things got a little lonley in my marriage. I strayed. When I found comfort in another man, I told my husband. He grabbed me and weeped harshly and prayed while he weeped that God would save our marriage. <P>Even since that day the affair continued, me and OP talked about remarriage. My H is still trying very earnestly to do all he can to save our marriage. <P>It seems my life is over. I do not want to think about the OM, (he is also married) and he is probably seeing other women besides me. But I've become so dependent on him. But I want to live for Christ. <P>I want happiness in my own home. I find myself coveting the things in the OM's life. He does well financially, and he is very charismatic. I love everything about him, My H is the total opposite, but loves the very ground I walk on.<P>I don't want to be consumed by this other person. I need my own happiness.<P>Today is the first day I have not called him, but I believe that I will give in and call him.<P>Please pray for me. I am screaming for help. I need God to move in my own life. My husband needs a better job, I want our spiritual gifts to be manifested. I want my own household to be blessed. <P>The OM is also in the church, and seems to get away with doing whatever he wants and still receive an abudance of blessigs from God. I look at them in envy. His family is so happy and mines is miserable, yet he claims that there is no happiness in his home. <P>What am I doing, what is going on with me. I dont want to call him. <P>Is there one person who can get a prayer through?

Wow....don't really know how to respond to this...basically I'm on the other side....my H betrayed me.<P>However, I feel for you....my heart hurts for you. There is alot I (or anyone) here could say, but my feeling is you KNOW what the right road is. God hates divorce. He wants marriages to last forever.<P>I would suggest that you follow the principles on this web site for rebuilding your marriage. It's gonna be hard, but like I said, I think you know in your heart it's what the Lord wants of you.<P>Put the OM out of your mind, heart and life. It will be hard, but that's probably because you are "addicted" to him. You MUST draw near to God, with a clean and sincere heart. He WANTS to bless you and your husband. And it may SEEM like God is blessing this other family, but God knows the motives of each person's heart. He will be the ultimate judge. You are called to keep you eyes on Him.<P>My prayers are with you. I pray that He will give you the strength to do the right thing....lay at His feet and ask Him for wisdom and strength. Everytime you start thinking about the circumstances, the OM or even your own marriage.....leave it with God....turn you eyes on Him.<P>God bless you. If you feel comfortable, please let us know how you're doing.<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<BR>

qu78,<BR>Besides what I wrote back to you the other day, I guess I would ask the question, Do you want to be with someone who is cheating on you (even if no other women he is married) or someone who wants to be devoted to you? If you don't say the one who wants to be devoted to you, then I think the most important thing for you is to ask why and do some pondering of those things in your life that you need, that you are trying to fill through this other man. I do not think it is him per say that is the love but something he gives to you or represents to you. <BR>And most likely the things he is filling, the Lord, is waiting and to fill in you. The Lord, not only wants us to give up those things that are sin, but those things that are good, that are filling a place that He wants and longs to fill in you.<BR>Because of the place this man represents, it is like a fix that takes away a need. So it is in many ways a drug. So, it will be hard to give up, but the longer you indulge the harder this will become and the further away you will be from being able to hear the Lord calling you back. He will keep calling but it will be harder to hear.<BR>What would you do if this man ends it with you tomorrow or next week or in 6 months after you are really hooked. Where will your family be then? If he is seeing other women, besides you, my guess is that you are merely filling some need in him likewise. Many men who suffer from depression use the thrill of a new relationship to dull their own pain. When you no longer have that effect on him he will move on. Is this what you want.<BR>But because the feelings are so intense yoiu are probably saying to me, I can't let go. We are all subject tp temptation and we all cave in. The more we do the harder it is to get away from it. But God promises that He will give us a way out. When you think of this man or calling this man try substituting praising the Lord, for your family and husband. <BR>In answer to jungle princess, I wrote about what the Lord has revealed to be about seeking Him with all my heart.<BR>You are longing for something, and Jesus can fill it better than anything else. I don't know if it would help but maybe it would.<BR>I pray for you. You are hurting anf ht eprediciment is not an easy one to escape. But the longer you give in the tighter the grip satan will put on you and your life. He seeks to control you and keep you away from the truth of Christ. He seeks to keep you in his court. Run, and resist and he will flee.<P>Father,<BR>Give this woman a taste of you. Holy Spirit show her the way out. Let her cry out to You instead of us for direction. Show her Your desire for her and that You are waiting for her. Lord, bring women to minister to her and show her Your love. In Jesus name, Amen.

qu-I am not sure what it is you are asking from us. In one sense you feel you deserve to be happy and yet you look for happiness in sin and seem to want our blessings to understand that and to condone it. WE cannot do that. In love and with as much tenderness as I can find with in me, I must say to you that you hold the key right now to your future. Jesus addressed the adultress in what way? After making sure everyone was aware that we all fall short of the glory of God and that we all sin, then he tells her to go and sin no more. Take your husband with you and confess this to your pastor. Begin the bonds of restoration with your husband and break the bondage of sin. This sin is meeting needs that your husband should be meeting and apparently, he is now desiring to do just that. Cling to the Father and in faith go for that happiness with your husband. Cling not to what is seen (the relationship with this OM) but to what is unseen (what God can do to restore your marriage)<P>Take that step of faith qu and we will pray right along side of you. It is our combined prayers, our joined hearts that He hears but you must first take that mustard seed of faith and rebuke evil so that it runs away from you. Going with your husband to the pastor will make the sin run far from you. This is how I will be praying for you.

I just echo the others. And as someone who was a WS, I can't be as gentle.<P>You want God to move in your life, yet you continue in sin. God promises to hear the prayers of the righteous. God is always there, you are the one who is putting up the barrier of sin.<P>When you want to call the OM, here's a couple things to imagine:<P>1) your H has the phone tapped. He will hear every word. (not so far fetched, there are quite a few betrayed spouses on MB who have done just this.) And God DOES hear every word.<P>2) black gooey duct tape wrapped over the phone (or on the OM), when you touch it, your sin is visible to everyone.<P>3) visualize your H's face, call him instead.<P>4) REALITY CHECK. If the OM is having sex with at least 2 other women--and if he's living at home, it probably isn't celibately, you've got to realize he has put you at a health risk. He has put the mother of his children at risk. He is not a good guy, even if he goes to church. God is NOT blessing him.<P>Proverbs 3:33 "The Lord's curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous."<P>Satan may be giving the OM the riches of the world, but we don't want any favors from the Enemy, now do we?<P>You are the only one who can set your feet on the right path.<P>When I stopped seeing the OM it was like hearing & having trainbrakes in my soul. The screech of stopping was horrible, but it didn't last and now I have the quiet hum of not fighting God. <P>My H has gotten a promotion at work and we are seeing signs of the abundant life God promises those who follow him. But my H & I had to change & turn from sin to bring that barrier down that we built between God & us.<P>Dear Lord, qu78 is in bondage to sin and cannot free herself. I pray a prayer of intercession that the blinders on her eyes will fall away and she will see the OM & herself as they are in your eyes.<P>Proverbs 5:3-6. "For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not."<P>Tough stuff, I know, but there isn't any doubt of God's feelings in those verses, is there.<P>You can do it.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

qu78<BR>God delivered me from the exact situation that you are in. But it wasn't until after made up in my mind that this was not what I really wanted, and that I no longer wanted to continue in sin. I am writing to tell you that is not worth it. If your husband is willing to go on with your marriage and if he worships the ground that you walk on you've got to walk in the authority that God has given you to break this thing. The enemy will always make the grass look greener on the other side. It's not worth loosing your family. My former husband wanted to stay with me, but I was so hung up the 0M that I could not see straight. I am now remarried, and I tell you, it has been real struggle. I am really going through some situations my self. But I just wanted to reply to what I've read because I was in the same situation. Please hear me, it is not worth your family.<P>Father, I pray that you would begain to open qu78 spiritual eyes that have been blinded by the enemy. That she may see in clarity what the enemy is planning for her life. The enemy comes to kill, still, and destroy!<BR>But you have come that we may have life, and life more abundantly. I pray that she would seek your face so that your desire would become her desire. I pray that the soul ties that have been formed in qu78 and the OM be broken, and I plead the blood of Jesus over her marriage IJN Amen<BR>