I need help. My H is an alcoholic and is also having an affair. His affair has been going on for over a year now. I have been through so much pain and guilt over what has happened and what he allows to continue to happen. He NEEDS help but until he wants to get help I feel like he is slipping away. Not only to the hands of the OW who enables him to drink but to the sickness itself.<P>He continually comes and goes from our house staying out all night whenever he feels like it. When I ask how he can do this it is always the same answer he is not with her and he slept in his car. I don't believe it for a minute. <P>How can he continue to treat me with such disrespect and not even think that it isn't wrong. I feel like calling the OW and telling her to come and get his things and she can have him 24/7 instead of just every other night or so.<P>Can any one here give me some help???????

Have you ever heard of Alonan? There is a website <A HREF="http://www.alcoholism.com" TARGET=_blank>www.alcoholism.com</A> it's called another emptybottle and it has much information that I have found helpful. My h also has a drinking problem.<BR>There is a book I picked up at the book store, called Marriage on the "rocks" that had alot of helpful information as well. I have gone to alonan, I found information support and realized I was not alone, It's about letting go, and it is very hard. I do emphazize and relate to your pain and anger. I will pray that God, guides you, and sets your h free of his addiction. The important thing is get support for yourself, <BR>For a long time I kept it all to myself, (to protect him mostly) and when I started reaching out to others is when I felt real healing begin for me. He (my h) has to decide for himself if he wants to do what he needs to control his desease. (abstinance) <BR>I hope I was able to help you.......love and prayers are with you. I find it very comforting, knowing people I never met are praying for me, that's why I like this forum so much. Keep reading and posting, you will find support, freindship, and understanding here.

Thank you I have tried Alanon. It does seem to help and I realize that he cannot get help until he wants it. The thing that really bothers me is the OW is just enabling him and helping him to stay sick. She drinks with him whenever they are together and tells him how bad our marriage is. <P>So he sees me as the evil one who won't enable his sickness and makes him responsible for his actions.<P>I am hoping for him to hit rock bottom soon and have him realize what he is doing to himself and our marriage.

the correct link for the another empty bottle site is this <A HREF="http://www.alcoholismhelp.com" TARGET=_blank>www.alcoholismhelp.com</A> <BR>the other one I found by accident, because I forgot to put the help at the end, it is pretty interesting. Sorry I didn't tell you anything you didn't already know. It's really hard, isn't it?

the correct link for the another empty bottle site is this <A HREF="http://www.alcoholismhelp.com" TARGET=_blank>www.alcoholismhelp.com</A> <BR>the other one I found by accident, because I forgot to put the help at the end, it is pretty interesting. Sorry I didn't tell you anything you didn't already know. It's really hard, isn't it?