My h just left on medical leave for Singapore, he'll be back tomorrow. I/we have been trying to connect with each other for quite a few weeks now, but with my sleep problems, his new job (and new stress), his surgery on a varicose vein, and now a bad cold for me, we haven't made love in weeks.<P>I'm really scared because any efforts I've made to talk with him have been met with negative tones, or the TV volume going up. And when I reach out to touch him, it feels like he's pulling back. I've tried to ask him how he's feeling, what he wants, and have been very direct about when he wants sex. All I get are evasive, monosyllabic replies.<P>I told him I'd be preparing a romantic dinner for two, without kids, upon his arrival. He smiled weakly and said, "That sounds nice." I asked him what his work schedule was going to be like, and he never really answered, except to say that he had a lot more work coming up when he returned.<P>I'm not sure what to do. I hate feeling afraid all the time. I know it's because my faith is so weak. I'm studying chapter 2 of POPW this week and praying over that. I hope all this distance is from job stress.<P>Father, I lay my life, my marriage, and my fear before you. Please clean my heart and make it pure again, so that I can look up and see your face again, and not be afraid to walk in your love. Give my husband the rest, peace and healing he needs, and please renew our love for each other and for you. It is my greatest desire that my husband and I share our love for you, and hold you close to us in our marriage. Father, thank you for all you have built and repaired in our lives, and for the love you so consistently bless us with. Again, my heart is yours, my family is yours, my life is yours to make into what you will.<P>I pray this all in Jesus' holy name,<BR>Amen

jungle_princess,<P>There is a verse which I thought of when I read your post.<P>II Corinthians 10:5 "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."<P>I believe probably the biggest struggle we have is our thought life, especially for those of us who have experienced the unfaithfulness of our spouses.<P>It is so easy to "speculate, reason, therorize, etc..etc..etc.." I know that is exactly what I did and I know the devil loved it. I had my mind off of Christ and on to things which would only cause further turmoil.<P>We can only deal with truth and a speculation is not necessarily truth. Jesus said, "the truth will set us free".<P>I share these things with you because they were so burdensome to me in the beginning after D day. <P>This morning I read something very meaningful to me and I will share it hoping it will bring you peace.<P>"And let the peace which comes from Christ rule in your hearts deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state to which as members of Christ's one body you were called to live." Colossians 3:15<P>Father, this is my prayer for this woman of faith. May she experience your peace in her life and in her marriage. Help her to bring all her thoughts captive to You and bless her with Your fullness. Remove all fear from her heart and make her marriage a blessed union. IJN<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18