Hi there all of you wonderful people!<P> It's truly amazing the amount of healing that happens from just reading these posts. That's what I've been doing now for a while. I read, I look up the scriptures, I pray, and I really do get answers! Thankyou!<P> I'm feeling a little frustrated tonight. My H still has not stopped the realtionship with OW. I originally told you about this in a post about 2 weeks ago, but I'll give you a breif reminder.<P> H worked with OW, actually, he was her boss. He held a very respectable, responsible position, which he had worked for over 20 years to earn. OW came to him in need of spiritual counseling. H was warned by a close personal Christian friend that he should not meet with her alone, etc, which he already knew. He did share with me a bit about her situation, and I warned him that I didn't have a good feeling about his counseling her. He seemed to take my suggestion under advisement at the time, but that is when the last honest discussion about her happened. At least, I don't think he was in love with her at the time. He has been a strong Christian for about 15 years, and so I trusted him with my life. <P> Well, to make a long (about 2 years) story short, they fell in love, and he says that there has not been a PA, but he jepordized his job with his meetings with her, nothing that could be proven, but enough for his authority to be questioned. He left his job about 7 months ago, telling me that he felt ineffective because of some changes within the companies' structure. I was totally unaware of this EA until about a month ago. OW's XH faxed me several cards from H to OW with "I love you's" and his signature. Along with that, receipts for gifts from him to her like massages, flowers, etc, while I got pots and pans. OK, that was uncalled for, sorry!<P> H denied the relationship until confronted with the copies of his own signature, and then said that it was simply a freindship that had gone too far. She filled a void in his life, and he didn't think I should let it upset me! After very few discussions, he admitted that it was wrong, and that he needed to stop the A. This was about 3 1/2 weeks ago, and still no break-up.<P> I feel like our relationship is just a lie. He says that the last thing he wants is for our family to be broken up, that he loves me. But how can he keep doing this? I want him to share his feelings with me. Explain to me how I can fill this void she is filling so that he won't need to be with her. He doesn't see her, she has moved out of town. But they still talk daily, and I do know that he has been to her new place at least once. Not since D day, but it still hurts. <P> How can I get him to talk? And should I tell him he has to make a decision about which of us he wants? Or would that just push him over the edge? He doesn't want to go to counseling, of course, why would he? Should I go myself? Does it actually help? I don't feel like I can sit and wait much longer without going crazy. We have 3 wonderful children who, so far, seem to be untouched and oblivious to the whole situation. The only thing that they have noticed is that Mommy reads lots of books about how to have a good marriage. <P> Thankyou! SM<BR>
