Dear all; I haven't posted for a while as things have been very busy. A month ago I was quite concerned about being pregnant and asked for prayer. I was able to rest it in the Lord's hands and began to think that it was just my age. This weekend I went to see H and D. H had surgery and we spent Friday at hospital...all went well for him and things seemed to be mending for us as well. Saturday night I began bleeding quite heavy. I tried to talk to my H and his response was "Don't be such a baby (I was crying, however I usually do not complain). My m-i-l noticed how pale I was and asked me what was happening. I tried to call the hospital and H interrupted the call and asked me to come and help him carry some things as he was not supposed to lift anything. My m-i-l called a nurse and the nurse asked me several questions and said to get to the er now. My m-i-l told H to take me and he reluctantly did so. I asked for a towel for the car seat and he go angry. I grabbed a couple of plastic garbage bags and sat on them. When we got to the hospital, I stood up and the blood was running out my pant legs and into my shoes. He then began to realize I did need help. My blood count was at 26 when they stopped the bleeding and they had to give me blood and then do a d&c the next morning. I was pregnant. My H then asked if they could save the baby, told me he would have been happy (I reminded him of what he said last month about not wanting any part of it). A complete turnaround. He even slept at the hospital with me. Very supportive and sad. He told me he really did love me. He wanted me to take the whole week off, and the Dr said I could go back to work today. He was angry. He started in with my weight and said I was fat and he was so dissappointed and turned off by my appearance. I am still a size 8 but I have probably gained 10-12 lbs this last few months. His comments were very hurtful and I am a little upset myself. I said very little and he then told me to leave last night, just get out of there. He literally pushed me out the door and I did not even have time to get my antibiotic. My distress is that our little girl was hysterical, crying that she didn't want Mommy to leave. I cried all the way home (3.5 hour drive). Please pray for her...I feel horrible right now and I miss her terribly. He has said he wants to go and find someone else. I just do not understand his sudden changes as both his love and his anger seem to be real emotions on his part. Please pray for me as I am praying to have God restore my life and all of this has been quite a blow to me. Thank you all....Melissa is 4 and loves both of her parents. She is so happy when she has us both together and seeing Daddy make me leave is hurtful. I did not argue or fight with him, I think his anger stemmed from my job. I said that I did need to get back to work as it would be harder to catch up when I returned. I was planning on taking a couple more days off to recuperate as my blood level is still low (30) and I am a little weak. My boss said that he needed me to come in, but that I was only to work for a few hours and do what was necessary. I am just hurting right now, for a lot of reasons, but Melissa's heartbreak is the most difficult to bear. I feel as though I am failing her. I had to help her Dad out as he is not working and can not afford to do this and pay her daycare. Please pray that a way opens for her to come home. Thank you all for your prayers....I am so thankful that I can turn to you all for support and prayer.

My Dear, what a journey you've been on. I will be at church today and I will light a special candle just for Melissa and you.<P>As you think today of all your circumstances, remember what the Lord <BR>says.<P>"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." I Peter 5:7<P>"For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does." Psalm 33:4<P>"Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 24:27<P>"The Lord is a refuge for the oppresesed, a stronghold in times of trouble." Psalm 9:9<P>"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4<P>As you can see from this forum, many of us have walked the fires of hell, and some of us still do on a daily basis. I take great comfort from Word and spend time with Him everyday. These scriptures I have sent you have jumped out of the pages in my time of trouble and I pray that you gain strength from them to continue your journey today. Just remember, God may have you Both on a "Potter's Wheel" shapping you both to become the Husband and Wife He wants and expects us to be.<P>Your friend in Christ<BR>Paula<P>------------------<BR>The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9<P>BabyDoll (Paula :D)

Praying for you...<BR>Kathi

oneday,<BR>Stories like yours make me feel guilty for even posting about things in my marriage. My problems are so trivial in light of what you've just been through. I will be praying for you, and I can't think of anyone who needs them more than you right now! You must be a strong person already to endure your current hardships. I'll pray for a celestial frying pan to bombard your H until he wakes up!! I pray that whatever causes your H's anger will be revealed and removed from your lives. <P>Thank you for posting oneday. Keep us updated on your situation. My heart goes out to you.