Please pray for me. Divorce court is scheduled for tomorrow. I talked to husband last night about some financial stuff. I told him that I am willing to forgive and work on marriage. He just threw any mistakes (LB's) on my part during our marriage in my face and didn't take any responsibility for his part. He just said that the ship was sinking and he stepped off. He said [censored] happens, I said it wasn't [censored] happens, it was a DECISION on his part. I wish I could explain my marriage, but I was definitely the GIVER and he was the TAKER. He said if I gave all I could we'd still be together. I told him I'm still willing to give. <P>It just frustrates me so, I loved him completely, to me it really seems like our problems are so simple to solve with a little give on both sides. I was in no way controlling, I let him have so much freedom, I just wanted him to be my friend, and told him so, so many times. Everytime I told him how I felt, he would say "what difference does it make". Why does it hurt so bad to be left by someone who was unwilling to give anything for me.<P>I keep remembering our wedding and how we danced our first song to "Shameless" by Garth Brooks. We both felt that way and I scare myself that I could so easily feel that way again with a man who walked out on me. What a waste of a great love and a wonderful dream.

city girl I know where you are, and I have an answer from my own experience, whether it is true or not. The reason why I think you care and love so much is because you did those things. Love comes from acting loving toward someone else. When we give and love, we receive back twice as much, whether the other person recipriates or not. That is the paradox of it all. <P>My h too was the taker. He said to me once, "I think I have sucked out all there is from the relationship." Well, Mr bloodsucker, if you keep withdrawing from the bank and never replace it or put any money into it, one day the account is indeed dry. As in any bank account you can only use the money you put into it and if you don't put any into it, one day it is all gone. But, citygirl, that is not from you not giving, but from him not giving.<P>It is sad and so hard to understand. What always amazes me is that they don't see it. Try the bank analogy with him next time he brings it up. However chances are he still won't see it.<P>Father, cover this woman with your love. Lord it is not too late to turn this husband's heart. Lord, you are in the heart turning business, ours is just to love. Father protect her from all evil and the enemy. Draw her to you and let her seek You with all her heart as she heals in the coming months. But Lord we know that even then You can change things. It is in Your hands. In Jesus name, Amen.

HW,<P>We'll never meet (in this life anyway), but know that you are loved. Your support and prayers are priceless. Your husband is an IDIOT for not staying with you

citygirl, <P>thanks for the encouragement. You never know whether we'll meet or not. Anything is possible. I'm from the city too. Ah, but which ones?<P>Just having fun. I have found that the more I laugh the better. I have done far less of my share of laughing in the last few years. I plan to do more of it from now on.<P>My thoughts and prayers are with you tomorrow.

My dear City Girl.... it truly is "A Journey from Hurt to Healing". Many of us are dealing with the choices of of H's. Like you, I did not want the separation, he did. I'm forced, as you are, to face the consiquence of his choices.<P>Regardless, I still pray for my H and light a candle for him inchurch every day. Why! Because I belive that God answers all prayers. Let it be His will and in His perfect timing. But today, I will light three candles - one for you, your H and mine.<P>My prayers are with you!<P>BabyDoll<P>------------------<BR>"...But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on, toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14<P>BabyDoll

Did the court hearing go forward today? Are you feeling alright now? Still praying for you, city girl! Let us know how we can continue to pray for you.<P>Karenna