I am new to this Bible study, and I hope someone out there can be encouraging. Last January my H got on the internet, into chat lines, and porn. He met a woman from Germany, flew there in July and my life has gone downhill since. He came back loving me and tried to commit suicide. Landed in the hospital for a few days. Two weeks later he came to the house broke into my window, and the cops were called.... His mom died in August of this year. He is court ordered to take antidepressants, and see a counselor. However, his mood has not changed that much. H moved back into the house for three weeks, and is now gone again; with words as I don't love you anymore, I don't want to be married. This week he has been over four out of five nights, and even slept two nights on the sofa. He is so down on himself, is full of guilt. H is still on the internet, but I leave that in Gods hands. He now has rented an apt, and will be moving in Nov 1. I know he still loves me, just the way he'll look at me, spend time with me, and at times what H says. I love him so much, we are both born-again christians, but Satan has infiltrated our lives. I keep praying that Satan will not win this war. H was so compassionate, kind and loving, and all of a sudden his personality changed. I love H deeply, and don't know what to do? What do I do, I have mentioned MB to him, but H has no interest. I leave him in Gods hands, I have no control over this.

My prayers are with you. Keep the faith I know it is hard.

Thnak you Tigger, I needed to hear from someone....FAITH..what would we have if we didn't have FAITH...

Vincent,<P>Once we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior the only thing Satan can still do is compromise our testimony. He knows you are children of God but he wants to make you ineffective in reaching others for Christ.<BR>Thus he pushes every red button we've got to try and mess up our lives.<P>Your husband has surrendered ground to the devil when he got involved in immoral behavior......now he must ask forgiveness, repent which means turn from sin and surrender his life anew to God. These are must steps! Then he and you together must try and take steps forward in faith.<P>Hebrews 11:1 defines faith, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence on things not seen". You will not see the miracle until you begin to walk toward it. Give God a chance to make something beautiful from the mess you've described.<P>If your husband is unable to do these things then you must "stand in the gap" and do them for both of you.<P>Father, intervene in this marriage. We ask for your power to be seen in these lives. Bind the evil one from any further influence and by the power of Your Holy Spirit bring these your children back to a healthy walk with You and a marriage with You at the center. Remove the scales from this mans eyes and cause him to remember Your original work of grace in His life. Give this woman strength and a new committment to serve you and stand in the gap for her marriage. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen.<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

vincent,<BR>Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. <BR>Is you h seeing a counselor as well as the meds? If he has been on the meds for 6 weeks at least and He doesn't seem to have any relief then maybe that particular one is not working for him. Sometimes you have to try more than one. But the fact that he is so depressed makes it harder for him to make the effort, and someone else has to intervene, maybe still the courts.<P>Once he feels some relief from the depression or whatever, counseling sounds like it would be a good thing for him. Frame it that he could learn more about depression/whatever and the effect, If he is depressed, then he is probably in a pattern of negative thinking about himself and that makes it harder to rise above the depression. Counseling, especially cognitive (Aaron Beck worked a lot with depression and cognitive therapy) works on changing those negative thinking patterns among other things. Aaron Besk's institute is in Philadelphia and you can call and they keep a list of trained psychologist in the country. It is a thought.<P>There are several great books.<P>"I don't want to talk about it" By Terrance Real<P>"Reinventing Your Life" by Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko<P>Frank Pittman has a book about men as well as Private Lies which is an excellent book on affairs.<P>There are many and several now that are written for family of men with various psychological conditions.<P>It helps to become informed and try to understand where he is at. <P>I am praying for you both. Of course praying to God is your greatest resource.<P>Father,<BR>Bring relief to this man. Break through his illness and heal him. Bring wmen to support and pray with this woman. Lord let her turn to You and seek You with all her heart. Father we turn to You because we know that You are the only one who can heal and restore. Into Your hands we commit this man and wife and this marriage. In Jesus name. Amen.

Thank you all for your prayers...H has started going back to church, however, H has not surrendered himself to God yet. H knows what he must do, but Satan still has hold of him. He told me this weekend he needs to find out what this OW in Germany means to him. She wants nothing to do with him, because of his lying, however H is thinking of emailing her to see what the situation is. H wants to know if it was a fantasy, or real. I am so confused, how can anyone have a relationship so far away. I also caught him lying to me this weekend, why do I stay. I believe with all my heart God doesn't want divorce, but I can't take much more. My faith has grown so much, God has given me blessings even in this awful time. Please continue to pray, Satan must not win this war..

vincent,<P>My soap box as such, is that God allows these things to get our attention, so that we will seek Him in all things. He is the only one who can give you all you need. He is the only one who is always there to depend on and to rescue us.<P>He loves you so much and He wants you to seek Him as you would for gold, silver or any treasure dear to your heart. He wants to be that treasure to you. He is God, the creator and yet He wants You to call out to Him, seek Him and to know Him as a Father and a friend.<P>Vincent, satan is already defeated. It is hard to understand what they are going through. It is a fog that they can not see through. But the good news he is going to church and if he hears God's word it is working in Him. <P>It is hard also to know exactly what God is doing sometimes. His workings are veiled sometimes and we have to trust Him.. As with Moses and the Israelites as they escaped from the Egyptinas. God worked all night in the dark to move the waters aside, then in the light it was revealed to them His workings. <BR>Praise the Lord, that your faith has grown and for the blessings He is giving you. They will continue as you seek Him and His will for Your marriage. God hates divorce! HOld on to God and pray for your husband. God is working.<P>Father,<P>I lift this woman up to You. We praise You for the many blessings and the way You have built her faith up in You. Lord, continue to cause her to thirst for You and to increase her faith. Lord speak to her h at all times, while he walks while he sits, and even in his sleep. Lord only You can turn his heart. e praise You that all things are possible with You.<P>Thank You dear Jesus for caring so much for us. In Jesus name, Amen.

Dear HW<P>You are a wonder...I thank you so much for your concern and prayers. I thank God he put you in my life, and I can talk with you. My H called me this am, and he always sounds so down, he is on antidepressants, we tried marriage counseling through a Christian counseling ctr. But after 3 times he decided he didn't want to go anymore. <P>I can feel Gods love and strength. Whatever happens, I know God is leading me, I am his child. I have prayed that the Lord will put up brick walls around my H. Everything he tries himself, I asking the Lord for those brick walls. The Lord will show him it is impossible to do things on your own, He is our only hope in this miserable world. Praise be to God for his glory and grace. I have asked God to intercede if my H contacts this women in Germany, my faith is so strong.<BR>Please continue to pray for me, you are such an encouragement..Praise God for you.<P>Vincent

Vincent, I am short on time so I will try to reply to you later today, but I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your husband today. God bless you,<P>AW

Just an update....last night was an awful night...He called me at work and complained about money. (He is spending it like water) has never been able to control his wants and wishes when it comes to money. He came over, and the first thing out of his mouth was I have no money...He was in a awful mood, he told me he needs to contact the ow to see if it was fantasy or real. When he was in Germany, our son emailed her and she found out he was lying to her also. Told her he was going thru a divorce, and building himself up. He even went so far as to tell her H was afraid for his life, I might kill him...She of course was sympathic and felt so sorry for him. (being a Christian I would never even dream of doing that) His mind is so warped...he told me he is going to serve papers on me next week, which I have heard for a month now. We had words, told him I was so tired of his abusive mouth. He stormed out, telling me he was never coming back. At 10:30 pm he called to say he was stoped by the cops for speeding and could not find his drivers license. Asked if he could come over and look for it. I new his wallet was not in the house...but let him come over anyway. We did not say much, he thanked me said goodbye and left. i have been asking God to put up brick walls sp H knows he can not do this himself and humble himself before God. I have prayed God will put up brick walls regarding the internet, and ow. Please pray with me in this regard...And thank you all for being so supportive....It is soooo good to talk to all of you.

vincent,<BR>I am sorry you are going through such a rough trial. The other ladies have given you great advice, and I pray in agreement with them. <P>I read this verse today and thought of you:<P>"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." I Peter 1:6-7 <P>Father, I lift up vincent to You again tonight, asking in Jesus' name for Your hand to be placed on this marriage and on vincent's husband. Lord, turn this husband's heart back to You, and to his wife. Reveal to him in a mighty way the consequences of his sin. Father please remind this man that one of Your commandments is "Thou shall not commit adultery". Lord I pray that the OW in this situation will be confounded and exposed, and vincent's husband's eyes will be opened to the Truth. Thank You Lord for the miracle that will take place in this marriage. We praise You and worship You for You are the one and only almighty God; who can do all things. Thank You Lord for holding vincent close, comforting her during this trial. Help her to grow in You throughout this ordeal. I pray that You will send ministering angels to vincent and her husband. Thank You so much Lord for your unending love for us. IJN I pray, AMEN<p>[This message has been edited by Alcoholic's Wife (edited October 18, 2000).]

Thank you so much for your prayer and support. Last night I was reading in James, it comforted me so much. God loves each one of us, He has chosen us... I pray for each one of you every day, in Gods time He will lift all of us up, and we will rejoice and praise his Holy Name. We are so human, and there are times of uncertainity, we know its satan and his warriors, coming down on us. These times are so hard for me, I become so vulnerable. This is where Gods strength comes in, and my faith. He is ALIVE and loves each one of us so much...

<BR>Yesterday as I was writing to someone about God wanting us to seek Him with all our hearts, God shared an insight with me. <P>As in a large family, parents sometime put time aside to spend special with a child. God showed me that times of trials are those times when God has put special time aside just for me to spend time with Him. As a jeleous God if during that time I am distracted, he allows circumstances to call me back to Him. I know when I am feeling so lonely like I have no friends etc... I hear God calling "Aren't I enough" I remember that Of course You are God. Then He says then spend the time with me. <P>I realize that God allows others to be absent because it is when He gets me alone that I hear Him best and I grow during that time. I really sat up and thought wow that puts a whole new slant on this trial. This is the time that God has put aside for me, to come to Him. To seek Him, to love Him, to Know Him and for Him to help me see Him in a different light, as He works all things for good. <BR>The night before I had this insight I had prayed for God to reveal to me His character in a way I had not seen. Then the next morning this insight. I was awed by our God.<P>Our God is a great God who delights in showing us His character.<P>I don't know about you but I don't learn as much about myself or God when everything is going great. I certainly enjoy those days, but they are a refresher, and a rest in God. But frankly I get lazy if they last too long. I love the Lord my God and I do delight in growing with Him. It is not easy and I sure grumble a lot, but when I can see how He is working, because I stop to ask then the trials don't seem quite as hard and I know I am not alone.<P>So think of this time as your special one on one time with the Father. Ask Him "how You should You and I spend this day, Lord?" It puts it all in a different light.<P>Have a blessed day with God. Take a walk in the garden with Jesus this day.

What a wonderful reponse....You have put it in a different perspective....Yes, these are days with God alone. Thank you<P>V