hello all<BR>feeling a little better today. I just need to remember my self worth is in the Lord and not in my H. I love my H dearly, but I love the Lord even more. After reading the Boundries strand I have decided to reread the book. I understand that I am the only one I can change. but oh, those boundries are hard to establish because it means breaking a very long running pattern of habbits. Pray fro me to have strength. and that the fog lifts from David (My H). I wrote an E-mail to my Mom-in-Law (we are pretty close) and let her know I wasn't giving up on her son. She has been verry incouraging for me. She doesn't like what my H is doing any more than me and I think if it weren't for her encouragement to keep praying and seeking God I wouldn't have made it this far. I am trying verry hard to focus on the good things in David.Such as:<BR>he can be kind, compasionate, he has a beutiful smile (when he uses it) his eyes also sparkle when he smiles. <BR>It has taken time to find these through the hurt but it helps me to love him better when I look for the good. Even if it is hiding at times.<BR>anyone whos interested try it. List the good things about your H, even if it is a rare thing (even if its rare it's still there) and then we can pray that God helps these virtues to be more prominent in our H's lives. I'm already starting to notice a differece after a couple of weeks of doing this. When I have a hard time finding something I just thank God for him anyway. and usually soon after I have a reason to rejoice. even if it is just a smile in my direction that is still a gift from God.<P>My prayers with you all<P>Jesus, I just ask that you be with each and every one of us and show us the good in our spouses so that we may rejoice. Remind us all that our self worth comes from no one but you. Help us to be strong, confident individuals and to show your love through us.<BR>Lord make our lives a living sacrifice for you. We praise you and give you all the glory in Your holy name Amen.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Irene

That was beautiful, it was inspiring, God is definately working in your heart, thank you for sharing.

Scared and lonely,<BR>It is so easy to get caught up in what is wrong with this picture and to treat David as he deserves. But it is Jesus' way that we keep our eyes on His way and treat your h as Jesus would. People think we are nuts when we react in this way, but if you know Jesus it is the only way to act. He is the real healer and changer of people. <P>Also when you focus on the good, it changes how you feel about your h and low and behold they sometimes takes on that image.<P>It is also a sacrifice of praise unto the Lord, that you choose to view the situation from God's point of view rather than the world's. satan will try to come and rob you of this view as often as he can, but he is a defeated enemy who likes to make a lot of noise. In the noise is where we sometimes lose the voice of God. We have to strain sometimes to hear it. But if we recognize and remember that the voice is there and we seek it, and listen for it, it rises above the noise, diminshing it and giving us comfort, faith and hope. His voice is always there for us. <P>Father,<BR>I praise You for being the voice above the noise. Lord, let us not look to the right or the left but here Your voice that says, "This is the way, walk in it." <BR>Father help scared to remember Your voice and to keep it in her ears at all times.<P> Father, thank you that You make Yourself so availabe to us. Father we do not deserve such a gift. We thank You Father.<P>And this is my prayer for scared and lonely that her love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that she may discern what is best and be blameless and pure until the day of Christ Jeus. Lord work in David's heart and bring him an annointing of Your Holy Spirit to break and smash every chain and stronghold that seeks to bind him. Let the Spirit vcome and free him in Jesus name, and may the mind of Christ take David's every thought captive to obedience in Jesus Christ. In Jesus name, Amen.

It is when we focus on the steadfastness of His love for us that we can face all things. I am continually reduced to awe when I realize how much God loves me. When I wear his glasses, and look through his magnifying glass of detail, I am amazed at how intricately he designs all things.<P>Is admiration a need of your husband? How are you letting him know of that admiration? I too, am enamored by my husband's smile. We only can look at our own behavior and see how we are lifting up those around us, our job to be obedient to the Lord and then allow him to work in the lives of those we love.<P>HW, your prayer was beautiful and I am praying in agreement with that prayer. Hang in there scared and lonely. Soon we will change your name to peaceful and full.

SL, your post really blessed me. I am sure the Lord is smiling down on you for praising and thanking God for your husband in the midst of a trial. Is there something about the name David? My H's name is David also. It means Beloved. <P>I have been doing what you're doing for a while now too, and have seen a softening in him. Sometimes it is really hard to say something kind and appreciative, but seeing him start to smile after a compliment, etc. makes it easier and easier. I like your thought of praying and asking God to cause their virtues to be more prominent. Thank you so much for posting this!<P>AW

SueB,<BR>Is it possible to change your name?<BR>I think I would much rather be know as Hope.<BR>because with God I have hope for the future.<p>[This message has been edited by Scared and lonely (edited October 19, 2000).]