This last Saturday I found out my H went back to Germany to his ow..As I write this H is on his way home. It was a internet affair and they have met 3 times. H is on antidepressants, has a very low self esteem, and I know she is giving him the high he needs. He also has ADD, and I think it could be bi-polar.<BR>I have surrendered all my control, my mind, body and soul to God. I am moving over, so God can completely take control of this situation. If it means D, then it willbe that way. I have trying Plan A for awhile, but knew my H was taking advantage of that. I have now put up some boundaries, and I will stick to them. He did move out of our house, because it made him less guilty, and has told me he doesn't love me and does not want to be married. I KNOW in my heart H still loves me...By little things H does and say. MLC, yes, that could be part of it. Right now, I am so hurt and confused. We had such a wonderful relationship, H is also a born-again Christian. Satan has such a hold on him, it is so scary. Has anybody else lost their spouse to the internet? And what has happened, do they get over it, or continue. I am going to Plan B, I have to be tough and put up those boundaries... Please pray for me...Anyone know a Bible verse that I could relate to, and keep repeating it all through the day??????PLEASE HELP ME

Vincent,<P>When I first found out about my h's affair I was in a state of confusion like you describe. I came across Psalm 37 in my reading and ended up typing it out and highlighting many of the verses. I then hung it in my kitchen to I could read it often throughout the day. These verses helped me so much and enabled me to put things into God's perspective.<P>Please look it up, but I will highlight some of it here for you....<P>DO NOT FRET<BR>TRUST IN THE LORD<BR>DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD<BR>COMMIT YOUR WAY TO THE LORD<BR>REST IN THE LORD AND WAIT PATIENTLY FOR HIM<BR>CEASE FROM ANGER AND FORSAKE WRATH<BR>BETTER IS THE LITTLE OF THE RIGHTEOUS THAN <BR> THE ABUNDANCE OF MANY WICKED<BR>..THE LORD SUSTAINS THE RIGHTEOUS<BR>THE STEPS OF A MAN ARE ESTABLISHED BY THE<BR> LORD<BR>..THE LORD IS THE ONE WHO HOLDS HIS HAND<BR>DEPART FROM EVIL AND DO GOOD<BR>..THE LORD LOVES JUSTICE<BR>WAIT FOR THE LORD AND KEEP HIS WAY<BR>HE IS THEIR STRENGTH IN TIME OF TROUBLE<P>You put God first and He will take care of the rest. Remember God will establish your steps.....that means He will lead you out of confusion and into His peace and direction.<P>I am praying for you.<BR>Blessings, Taj<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

Perhaps you need to reread plan B stuff again as I really don't think that you are ready for that yet in your heart. The purpose for separation as my pastor defines it is so that love for the other will not be poisoned by the immediate situation, so you easily could continue to plan A during this time apart, learning about respect with boundaries, not only respect for your H but for yourself as you grow more dependent and closer to the Lord for your happiness, comfort, etc. <P>When H makes contact, you can be cheerful, etc. displaying the kind of behavior God calls us to. You can read those scripture that shows God's character. You can ask H how you can pray for him. He may or may not answer you, but you already know that his emotions are split wide open, ergo the guilt, depression, fantasies etc. You learn about yourself and how you participated in setting up this scenario through Harley's principles as decribed in the Boundaries thread and you begin to set limits on yourself so that you are more truthful and loving when you do have contact with your H.<P>In reality, I met my H on the internet. I had been a widow for nearly 6 years. In some ways, that was a good thing, in others, the daily contact provides more chances to see how an individual copes. <P>It sounds like the lady in Germany was not impressed with what she saw and she was pretty clear about that. Pray that she be given wisdom and strength and a hunger to know God.<P>Father, give this sister wisdom in how to do as you will in her life. Glorify yourself in this time of growing for both her husband and herself. Give her the determination to battle for what you have put together. IJN, Amen.<P>Do not file for divorce. If he files, so be it, but tell the judge that you do not believe in divorce. You are in my prayers.

vincent,<BR>I can just write a quick note now. My h has many of the same qualities. It has been a long process. I wish he had not moved out in some ways/most ways, but I do have to say God has used it for good for me at least. My h still sees the ow for about 1-2 weeks a month. But he is not talking d, he is not introducing her around, and basically has only told a few people. He is obviously confused still, this is a good thing. <P>You said before that the ow broke it off and didn't want it, I agree with Sue hopefully she will push him away. Also when this first thing started with me, I depended on Psalm 37 and 27. I thought it was interesting that Taj mentioned it. They were so helpful.<P>The Lord is in this and He does want you to move over and let him have it. He also wants you to seek Him with all your heart and be still. I do not believe He wants you to go to plan B so soon. Just wait, pray, praise the Lord and seek Him with all your heart. Then let Him do the rest. I am praying for you.

Thank you all for your prayer and concern. It means so much to me to able to come to a site and find such comfort. Please continue praying for my husband. I have not contacted him, I feel H should contact me. I read Psalms 37 last night and your suggestions and found comfort from the Lord. I am praying for the ow, I hope God will put another man in her life, and that He will put up brick walls around her. Although I am devaste, I know God is working. Right now he is slient in my life, but I also look at the blessings He has give me...I have surrendered my entire being to Him, and He is teaching me much about myself. Each day I pray for all of you..