It grieves my heart to read some of the posts here because I know the pain. I want to give you all hope. I see many of you write that "If it is God's will to restore our marriage..." You all need to take of that "IF". It IS Gods will to restore all our marriages. Some take more time than others. It is satan who is trying to destroy our marriages. Many of us see our Husbands as our enemies. We all need to step back and see our spouses are not our enemies satan is. The battle we are fighting for our marriages is a spiritual battle. We must learn to fight in the spirt. God has made this very clear to me recently. We must give our husbands to God 100%.<P>God has shown me he too knows of my pain, rejection, and lonliness. (Mark 14:32-42)<BR>as I went throught the scripture to the Garden of Getheemane I saw for the first time the pain that He had suffered there. At a time when He so desparetly need the love and comfort of another human being, His appostles could not even stay awake. They did not understand, nor care. They were tired and hungry and wanted to sleep. At times it feels like no one knows how i feel, and no one knows what I am going through. Now I know Jesus does. He has felt my loneliness, rejection, and pain. He has carried it within Himself that I might not have to. He was in such agony that sweat fell as drop s of blood to the ground. He went without comfort that I might be comforted. Let him also comfort you.<BR>Psalm 144:12<BR> "My steadfast love and my fortress, my high tower and my deliverer, my sheild and He in whome I take refuge" (amplified)<P>Jesus showed me soething else that happened to Him in the Farden, He was betreayed by someone He loved very much and He was betrayed in the name of love, with a kiss (Matthew 26:47-50)The ones we love very much have also betrayed us. Jesus knows how we feel. He has experienced the humiliation and shame, and betrayl. <BR>Hebrews 12:2,3<BR> "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faithe, whofor the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and and sat down ar the right hand of the thrown of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men. so that you will not grow weary and lose heart"<BR>When the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write those words, He had us in mind. He knew the rejection we would feel. He wants us to look to Jesus. That's why those word have been written - that we might know what to do when this hour came in our lives.<P>Befor we can even attempt to stand for the healing of our marriages we need to allow Jesus fo comfort and beging to heal us. Begin to read the Psalms. David knew pain and rejection. He also knew from whom his help came. Read how he cried out to the LOrd and then how he praised His name even in the midst of his troubles. <P>Praise is a very effective means of healing. You cannot praise the Lord with your whole heart and stay wounded. At fist it was truly a sacrifice Of praise (Jeremiah 33:11) I did not feel like doing it. Once I disiplined myself t begin I found that I was drawn into the very presance of the Lord. and healing began.<P>Staying in Jesus' presence is the key to healing. Praise Him for Who He is ans what He has done. Get our eyes off our problems and circumstances and onto Jesus. Get to know Him like you never have before. Begin to see this as a special time in our lives in which we can draw closer and closer to Him.<P>Draw close to Jesus. Press in to know Him as yu never have befoe. See this time as an opportunity, not a problem. Allow Jesus to comfort and heal you. He has already borne our pain within Him when He went to the cross for us. We need not carry it now. Give it to Himand allow Him t resurrect you with His healing power.<BR>Jeremiah 30:17<BR> "For I will resore health to you, and I will heal your wounds, says the Lord; because they have called you an outcast saying this is Zion, whom no one seeks after and for whom no one cares!" (amplified)<P>Praise the Lord for who He is and what He has done. Sacrifice praise to Him from the midst of our pain and healing will begin within us. Spend time reding the Bible and ask Jesus to speak to you through His word. The Psalms are a good place to start. See how David rejoiced in teh Lord and found comfort in Him even in the midst of heavy trials.<P>We are engagedin an awesome conflict. it is a conflict between two kingdoms the kingdom of Satan is warring against the kingdom of God for our spouses and our marriages. God has plans for our spouses. He has plans for our marriages."For I know the plans I have for you, " says the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hpe and a future" Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)<BR>Our enemy, the devil, also ha plans for our spouses. "Be controlled and alert the devil prowl around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV).<P>It is God's desire that our spouses turn to him and that your marriage be restred and healed. It is the Devils desire that our spouse be lost eternally and that our marriages are destroyed.<P>The conflict is that simple. The circumstances particular to each of our marriages is only a means of warfare that the enemy has chosen to employ in each of our cases. He knows the weakneeses of each of us. He knows what will wound us the most. The devil does not play fair. He kicks us when we are down. He strikes hardest when we are weakest. But he is limited in his warefare.<BR>The devil is limited in his weapons. He can only come at us with carnal weapons - things that are common to man. He cannot use supernatural means to war against us, and God has promisedyou a way our with each attack of the enemy. Scripture, however, has great pomises for us regarding our weapons.. "It is true that I am an ordianry, weak human being, but I don't use human plans and methods to win my battles. I use God's mighty weapons, not those made by men, to know dowen the devil's strongholds. These weapons can break down every proud argument against God and every wall taht can be built to keeep men from finding him. With these weaposn I can capture rebels and bring them back to God, and chage them into ment whose hearts' deire is obediance to christ" 2Corinthians 10:3-5 (TLB) God has provided us with weapons that are supernatural and mughty to fight againts the devil.<BR>The key is to stay in the spirit and fight the battle in the spirit. The devil is a master of the flesh. He knows our flesh better than we do. If we git in the flesh, he will win every time. If we stay in the spirt, we will win every time.<P>"Jesus, I'm hurting. I've been rejected and I feel worthless. I've tried to change on my own and I can't do it. I'm tired of making excuses, tired of trying. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner. I cannot cleanse myself and I cannot make my life right on my own. I surrender my life to You, Jesus. I receive You as my Lord and My Savior. I accept the cleansing of YOur blood for my sins. I let You take over my life right now. Help me, Lord. Comfort me. Teach me. I need You like I've never needed You before. I am Your child, Father."<BR>"Jeus, I know our home is under attack from the enemy. I need Your help. I don't know how to fight. I don't know what to do. I surrender this battle to You. Teach me, help me. I will trust You to do it. Lord teach me what covenant means. Teach me to remain strong and faithful to my word even when my spouse is not. I want to know Your heart regarding cobenant. I want to see our marriage as You see it. My own Love is so wounded right now, Jesus. I cannot do this alone. I don't feel very loving or very giving righ now. Please help me, Lord. I will rest in You. Jesus, You know I am hurting. You once felt this pain within YOurself. YOu know the pain of rejection, the shame and humiliation. You took them to the cross for me and now I give them to You, Lord! I praise YOur Name! I will spend time with You in Your Word. Comfort and heal me, Jesus. Jesus, I have received you as my Lord and Savior. I renounce all works of the enemy that may have been a part of my life.Lord Jesus, thak You for the HOly spirit. Thankyou for this new depth in my walk with You. Hellllp me to remember daily that my battle is not with flesh and blood. Help me not to react to circumstances. good ones or bad ones, but to just keep my eyes on You. Holy Spirit, teach me, counsel me, comfort me. I know You are praying the perfect will of God through me. Help me to discern His will in every area of my life. Teach me to do spiritual warfare against my real enemy, the devil. Lord, I thank You for Your Word. I thank You that You keep Your Word. Today I agree with what You have to say about my spouse and abut me. I agree with YOur word for our marriage and our family. I will not listen to the voice of the enemy any longer. I will agree only with You. Let Your unconditional, agape lvoe flow from me to my spouse. Let David see You through the kindness I show in Your name. Lord Jesus I give you permission to do what You need to do within me and within my life. I know it will sometimes be painful, but I am willing to let YOu take me beyond my comfort zone. Mold me, Lord, into YOur inage. Use me, Lord, for the glory of Your name." <BR> Amen.

WOW!! Scared and lonely. The Spirit has spoken clearly to you. Thanks. I had a challenging week and in many ways given up. But what I realized is I have given up on my h, I have given up on me, but I will not and have not given up on God. I know He is still in this. <P> It is challenging though. But when we disobey His commands then we pay the consequences. I talked with my h about our relationship last Sat to disasterous results. He expressed some pretty ugly but untrue things. I realize he doesn't have a clue who I am. But I also realized that I should not have gotten involved in a conversation either. But when we disobey, we feel the consequences. I know that God is still in control and even more so I hope, as I keep giving up more and more to Him. He is a great God and I stand on His promise that all things are worked for good of those who profess Christ Jesus.<P>Thanks again for sharing this tremendous message. Amen

Scared and lonely,<P>That was a wonderful post. I agree with hw, alot has been going on in your life. Isn't it great how God brings us through our tough times with revelations of truth.<P>We had a very interesting discussion in Sunday school this morning. We talked about the first mention of God's plan for marriage in Genesis 2.<P>Your name scared and lonely represents two of the reasons God instituted marriage, for protection and because man was alone. God knew that many of His children would need the things that a marriage would provide.<P>The really significant part of the discussion for me was the root of sexual sin in a marriage is idolatry. Our Pastor said that there are 3 people in a marriage, man, woman and God. Anyone who doesn't have his first passion for God will find the passion he does have replacing God.....Idolatry! Of course we know sexual sin takes on many forms, adultery, pornography,etc. We were encouraged to really search our hearts and know what our passion was and if it wasn't first and foremost for God we needed to bring it into line.<P>Seems to me that that is a way we can pray for our spouses, that they would come to realize that they need to put God first, before us, before our children, jobs, or whatever. A cord of three strands is not easily broken, God/my husband/and me. I must also search my heart and know that God is the one alone that I worship.<P>Taj

Taj, <P>I agree with you. It is so important to pray for our husbands' to seek, return to God first. <P>In our sermon about the prodical son I noted as we read Luke 15:17,18. "When he came to his senses, he said....I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: I have sinned against heaven and against you," that the prodical son had to come to his senses. <P>How many of our prodicals need to 'come to their senses.' I also notice how often I need to come to my senses as I have strayed off the path. I also noted that the son said against heaven first before he mentioned his earthly father. <P>As I was reading about committment the other week I thought, how can we be wholly committed to our marriages unless we are truly commiteed to our God first. Without Him in control it is so easy to get caught up in the earthly aspects of relationships. <P>Our pastor quoted Henri Nouwen, "At your worst you can never fall further than His grace can reach. At your best you can never get beyond your need for His Grace." This sure sounds like truth to me. <P>

I am so glad that God can use what He is teaching me to benefit some of you as well...<BR>I seem to eat, drink, and sleep in the bible lately, some people think I have gone fanatical, and I guess when it comes to my marriage and God's power, maybe I am a bit fanatical, but really is that so bad. If it weren't for God I would not have made it thus far. After I finished writing the starting of this tread yesterday I saw how long it was and tought nobody is gonna want to read all that. Guess God had me put it there for somebody. I had no idea how much I wrote. This sight has been a blessing to me and I thank God for it. It is encourageing to see him working in my life and showing me how to Love my husband with His unconditional (agape) love. It really makes a difference when you can look at your spouse through Gods eyes rather than your own, wounded human eyes. although my husband has not done much changing that I can see yet I can truely say that through God's eyes I can see he is sensitive, caring, special, kind, and loving to name a few. It is hard to explain how I can say this but now when I look at him I just shake my head and think "this is not my husband" and I pray for him to hear Gods voice over the roar of satan.<P>A thought for the day:<BR>"To love unconditionally is to love with out expectation or return."<P>Lord, my lips are filled with your praise for Your awesome deeds of righteousness. I thankyou for Your wonderful acts, and I ask that You would increase my eagerness to respond to Your Word. Teach me to be more thankful for all Your blessings. Amen.