Having just read of Karenna's loss i feel somewhat guilty writing this, but I did want to let all of you who gave me such good advice and support this summer know that each day my marriage appears to grow stronger...praise be to God.<P>OW and her supposed pregnancy/miscarriage are completely gone. H is growing so much in his ability to be a good husband and daddy that I am constantly amazed. Granted we have had rough spots, and I've been tempted to LB from time to time, but it is different this time. This time, I have struggled and prayed for direction in knowing what to say when things weren't right. i needed to reference the A, but didn't want to LB. I found the words to explain to H that I have a hard time trusting his telling me anyone is a friend, or defending the validity of the friendship by saying she knows about his wife and child...and I did tell him that it was because of the affair, and that I had done all i could to love him through the whole thing, but that it had really hurt me very deeply...maybe more than he realized. I even found the strenght to finally tell him calmly how it made me feel when he bent over backwards for her, and was so concerned about how things affected her...and I gave him concrete examples of how that was lacking in our marriage. Usually these would have been words for fighting and defensive posturing, but now H just listened...apologized when I cried (I couldn't help it) and has made very visible, immediate efforts to remedy the situation. I feared earlier that he might only be staying with me for the baby, but this week I caught him twice (by baby mnitor singing and talking to our daughter about how much he loves her and how much he loves her mommy. And for the first time since we've been married he gave me not one, but two cards. He has always argued that they are pointless...but i give them all the time and he enjoys getting them. Now he realizes that cards may not seem important to him, but to me they are...they show that he was thinking of me, AND put forth the effort to let me know. In the cards...one was playful, the other acknowledged his love for me and THANKED ME for loving him and being able to forgive him.....this from the man that would never admit or discuss the wrongness of his actions!!!!<P>So, that's where we are. He is not perfect..me either...and we will always have to work to keep our marriage strong. But with God's love and lots of prayer, I'm sure we'll be okay.<P>I still think often of the ladies here in this forum, and pray for you often.<P>God bless you<BR>Kim

Congratulations, Kim! I'm really happy for you. You have had a really tough year. Now you have a lot of sound principles in practice and a great template for a long and happy marriage. Keep up the good work. Remember to keep praying for your husband in every specific. I doubt any wife could ever outgrow POPW.