Hello to all who read this & hope you can give some prayer support. My husband has been having an affair that started in a chat <BR>room on our home computer. It has escalated to instant messenger and two meetings that I know of and numerous cell phone calls... I need prayer support. I know that the devil comes in many forms, and this is one of them. We have been married for 15yrs and I love him dearly. I have asked him to leave (temp.) until he decides what he's going to do. If you have any suggestions/prayers, please contact me.<BR>THANKS

I know how you feel my husband is also involved in an internet affair, got a cell phone specifically for calling her because i questioned him about the unfamiliar number that kept showing up on my phone bill.<BR>they talk for hours each night on instant messager.<P>In all the books I have read the one thing they all stress is do not voluntarily seperate from your spouse. If you are together you have a better chance of working it out. if you are seperated it makes it harder to work anything out cause you don't have to deal with eachother on a daily basis. <P>The first step in dealing with an affair is to admit it is not all his fault, yes he has free will, and you did not MAKE him go else where, but the fact is he wouldn't have gotten involved with anyone else if all his needs were being met. (This is hard to admit)Pray that God will work in your own life and make you the wife that God wants you to be. By becoming the wife God wants you to be you will also become the wife your husband wants and needs. <BR>in my case one of my problems i was to critical of my husband and now i have learned critism kills love. he went to someone else who accepts him as he is. I have also learned to accept him as he is I chose to marry him as is. I don't critisize him anymore, as hard as it is to hold my tounge at times i have been do well on this. Instead i look for the good things he does no matter how small and praise him for those things. <P>Standing in the Gap before God for our marriages is not always easy, i have good days and bad days. sometimes i feel as though even God has turned his back on me. this is satan telling me more lies.<P>their are three things that i always keep in mind that to me are a great help.<P>1. Proverbs 5:3-6<BR> 3)For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; 4)But in the end shi is bitter as gall, sharp as double-edged sword. 5)Her feet go down to death; her steps lead staight to the grave. 6)she gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not.<BR> In reading this i discovered that the OW truely does not understand what she is doing as the verse says, her paths are crooked, but she knows it not. because i truely love my husband, i also pray for her salvation.<BR>this was very hard for me to do at first but since i have been doing it i have learned it is hard to hold anger and bitterness against someone you are praying for.now I just pitty her for i know where her path leads.<P>2. 1 Peter 3:1-5 <BR> 1)Wives in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe in the word, they may be won over without talk by the behavior of their wives. 2)When they see the purity and reverance of your lives 3) Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of God jewelry and fine clothes. 4)instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5)For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submisive to their own husbands. <BR> just remember in being submissive their are also boundries, do not be a door mat. but part of being submissive is to give your husband respect weather or not he deserves it.<P>3. FOOTPRINTS<BR> One night a man had a drea. he dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to the him, and the other to the LORD.<BR> When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.<BR> This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me".<BR> The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and i would never leave you. During your times or trial and suffering, when you see only one set of foorprints, it was then that I carried you".<P>It is when i feel all alone and feel like even God is gone that i get our this poem and read it and pray.<P>I will be praying for you, <BR>stand stong God will bless you in the end.<P>------------------<BR>Irene<p>[This message has been edited by Scared and lonely (edited December 08, 2000).]

firefly,<P>I know you are hurting and feel betrayed. The lying and deception will be more painful than the actual betrayal. I agree if you can deal with it, to not have him leave. If you are togetherthen you have some input into his life. But this is ultimately your decision. <P>God is calling you to His attention. This is a burning bush for you. He is calling you to seek Him like you never have before. He loves you and wants your marriage to be restored. There is a site called restore ministries (I believe) The woman who started this dealt with this in her life. Anyways she has a book that is great for knowing how to seek the Lod during this trial. It is called "How God Can and Will Restore our Mariage." This is not an expensive biik and you can order it from her web sight. There is also a workbook that others have used to go along with this book, that they rave about. The web site is : <A HREF="http://WWW.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>WWW.restorem.org</A> <P>Two weeks before my h began his affair the Lord told me clearly "Put Him in the middle of my marriage." He also told me just to love him (my h) and as I write this perhaps He was also saying just love Him (meaning God himself).<P>The above mentioned book will help you to do both of those as you increase your faith, hope and love for the Lord. I will bring up the rather long thread about seeking the Lord. Many who come here have shared some wonderful thoughts and I hope you will be encouraged.<P>Father, We lift firefly into Your care. Let her heed Your call to come to You with it all. Let her seek You with all her heart. Let her come into a deeper relationship with Jesus as she walks beside Him through this trial.<P> Father, comfort her, let her feel the real presence of Your love all around her. Bring her Christian supports who will encourage her as she makes a stand for waiting on You to restore her marriage. Lord touch this h with Your hands and send him running home as fast as you can. Lord if this h is nt saved then Lord give this man life in Jesus today. We pray in Jesus name Amen.

Scared and Lonely,<BR>WOW!! I didn't think this got to the site. I thought I had lost this post only to return to it today and find your reply. It is good news. Funny thing about this affair that I have been praying for months before that God would help me be the wife that my husband needs. I have looked into all of my faults and shortcomings. Also my past sin has gotten in the way as I too very early on in our marriage was unfaithful too. This may be a breaker or a maker of the marriage. I trust God will work in our lives and have struggled with prayer for the OW but I know it's how God wants us to deal with our enemies. She is trying to also leave her husband for mine, so it has been a real mess. I know it is not too big for God to work out-if it is HIS WILL that my husband stays. I wear a necklace that has a pendant on it with Footprints-how fitting!<BR>I am trusting that God will pick up where I can't. I have done everything that I know of, and I ask Him to guide my steps daily, sometimes hourly or even by the minute! H<BR>is still not home and I miss him terribly!<BR>He comes back to see us and has spent this holiday week with us at home. I love him dearly and also pray for his salvation. Pray for me when you see this reply. THANKS! <BR>Firefly<P><BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Scared and lonely:<BR><B>I know how you feel my husband is also involved in an internet affair, got a cell phone specifically for calling her because i questioned him about the unfamiliar number that kept showing up on my phone bill.<BR>they talk for hours each night on instant messager.<P>In all the books I have read the one thing they all stress is do not voluntarily seperate from your spouse. If you are together you have a better chance of working it out. if you are seperated it makes it harder to work anything out cause you don't have to deal with eachother on a daily basis. <P>The first step in dealing with an affair is to admit it is not all his fault, yes he has free will, and you did not MAKE him go else where, but the fact is he wouldn't have gotten involved with anyone else if all his needs were being met. (This is hard to admit)Pray that God will work in your own life and make you the wife that God wants you to be. By becoming the wife God wants you to be you will also become the wife your husband wants and needs. <BR>in my case one of my problems i was to critical of my husband and now i have learned critism kills love. he went to someone else who accepts him as he is. I have also learned to accept him as he is I chose to marry him as is. I don't critisize him anymore, as hard as it is to hold my tounge at times i have been do well on this. Instead i look for the good things he does no matter how small and praise him for those things. <P>Standing in the Gap before God for our marriages is not always easy, i have good days and bad days. sometimes i feel as though even God has turned his back on me. this is satan telling me more lies.<P>their are three things that i always keep in mind that to me are a great help.<P>1. Proverbs 5:3-6<BR> 3)For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; 4)But in the end shi is bitter as gall, sharp as double-edged sword. 5)Her feet go down to death; her steps lead staight to the grave. 6)she gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not.<BR> In reading this i discovered that the OW truely does not understand what she is doing as the verse says, her paths are crooked, but she knows it not. because i truely love my husband, i also pray for her salvation.<BR>this was very hard for me to do at first but since i have been doing it i have learned it is hard to hold anger and bitterness against someone you are praying for.now I just pitty her for i know where her path leads.<P>2. 1 Peter 3:1-5 <BR> 1)Wives in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe in the word, they may be won over without talk by the behavior of their wives. 2)When they see the purity and reverance of your lives 3) Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of God jewelry and fine clothes. 4)instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5)For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submisive to their own husbands. <BR> just remember in being submissive their are also boundries, do not be a door mat. but part of being submissive is to give your husband respect weather or not he deserves it.<P>3. FOOTPRINTS<BR> One night a man had a drea. he dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to the him, and the other to the LORD.<BR> When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.<BR> This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me".<BR> The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and i would never leave you. During your times or trial and suffering, when you see only one set of foorprints, it was then that I carried you".<P>It is when i feel all alone and feel like even God is gone that i get our this poem and read it and pray.<P>I will be praying for you, <BR>stand stong God will bless you in the end.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

hw,<BR>Thanks for the kind words & prayers. I just found this today, thought I had lost this <BR>post! Isn't God great-I really needed some support today. I will try the website you offered. I am standing by my husband & also very close to the Lord. My husband is not saved and I have heard from God to "just love him and he wakes me every night to pray for his salvation. I sometimes feel God is not there, but I know that's just my worry.<BR>Thanks friend for being there. I'm going downstairs to be with my husband... <BR>Firefly<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hw:<BR><B>firefly,<P>I know you are hurting and feel betrayed. The lying and deception will be more painful than the actual betrayal. I agree if you can deal with it, to not have him leave. If you are togetherthen you have some input into his life. But this is ultimately your decision. <P>God is calling you to His attention. This is a burning bush for you. He is calling you to seek Him like you never have before. He loves you and wants your marriage to be restored. There is a site called restore ministries (I believe) The woman who started this dealt with this in her life. Anyways she has a book that is great for knowing how to seek the Lod during this trial. It is called "How God Can and Will Restore our Mariage." This is not an expensive biik and you can order it from her web sight. There is also a workbook that others have used to go along with this book, that they rave about. The web site is : <A HREF="http://WWW.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>WWW.restorem.org</A> <P>Two weeks before my h began his affair the Lord told me clearly "Put Him in the middle of my marriage." He also told me just to love him (my h) and as I write this perhaps He was also saying just love Him (meaning God himself).<P>The above mentioned book will help you to do both of those as you increase your faith, hope and love for the Lord. I will bring up the rather long thread about seeking the Lord. Many who come here have shared some wonderful thoughts and I hope you will be encouraged.<P>Father, We lift firefly into Your care. Let her heed Your call to come to You with it all. Let her seek You with all her heart. Let her come into a deeper relationship with Jesus as she walks beside Him through this trial.<P> Father, comfort her, let her feel the real presence of Your love all around her. Bring her Christian supports who will encourage her as she makes a stand for waiting on You to restore her marriage. Lord touch this h with Your hands and send him running home as fast as you can. Lord if this h is nt saved then Lord give this man life in Jesus today. We pray in Jesus name Amen.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Firefly:<P>Glad you found this post again. I'm so glad to hear that he is home for the holidays. You have the perfect opportunity to just love him but not be over bearing. When we make changes in ourselves often it forces the other to change and look at us differently. Glad to hear you are walking closely with the Lord. You are right, even when you don't feel Him He is there right beside you. He loves you and your husband. He will never leave you or abandon you. He is Lord, and He is sovereign. Have a great holiday week.