along with rereading POPW I have also started reading "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm on, Trusting God in the Tough Times"<BR>this book is also by Stormie Omartian.<BR>I was given this book as a christmas gift and It has already helped me a great deal.<BR>I just wanted to share with you all the opening poem of the book.<P>JUST ENOUGH LIGHT<BR>Sometimes only the step I'm on,<BR>or the very next one ahead,<BR>is all that is illuminated for me.<BR>God gives just the amount of light I need<BR>for the exact moment I need it.<BR>At those times I walk in surrender to faith<BR>unable to see the future<BR>and not fully comprehending the past.<BR>and because it is God who has given me what light I have,<BR>I know I must reject the fear and <BR>doubt that threaten to overtake me.<BR>I must determine to be content where<BR>I am, and allow God to get me where I <BR>need to go.<BR>I walk forward, <BR>one step at a time,<BR>fully trusting that<BR>the light God sheds<BR>is absoulutely sufficient.<P>Stormie Omartian<P>I pray this poem will help someone as it has me.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Irene

s & l,<P>Thanks for sharing this poem, it is exactly what I needed to hear. It seems this gets harder and harder instead of easier. But I know God is at the helm. I trust HIm to lead me where I am to go! I praise the Lord, that He is the one leading!!!<P>Thanks again

I thank you too S&L. Please do continue to share with us from this book as we continue to do the other assignment. I have a feeling that they are going to fit together for us.

Scared & Lonely,<P>Yes, thanks for sharing. I ordered this book too as the title really interested me. I guess it's in the mail on the way to me, but I'll be reading it too!<P>HM

"Faith" is:<P>When you get to the edge of all the light you know ...<P><BR>and it is so dark that you can see no place to set your foot for the next step ...<P><BR>taking that step into the dark ...<BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>knowing that God will provide ...<BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>a solid footing ...<BR> <BR>. <BR>. <BR>. <BR>. <BR>. <BR> <BR>. <P>. <BR> <BR>.<BR> <BR> <BR>or flying lessons! <P>

Amen, Karenna.<P>I feel like I am taking flying lessons right now!!!!!

"flying lessons"<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>ISA 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD<BR> will renew their strength.<BR> They will soar on wings like eagles;<BR> they will run and not grow weary,<BR> they will walk and not be faint.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>This reminds me of the step ladder theory we used to share with the children as they grew up. Our past affects our future in that we experience consequences for the things we personally do or don't do, say or don't say, etc. We are impacted by the events that occur that are not our own fault (my adopted children were all sexually abused) <P>Each day is a new day (the future from yesterday) and so what we put into today now impacts our tomorrows. Each day that we step away from inappropriate behaviors and we relearn new habits, thought processes, increase our skills in assertiveness or whatever it is that we need to learn to change the yesterdays of our life today helps our tomorrows (future) It is being proactive that helps change the future.<P>As I look at my own life then and have to swallow the truth that I buried the past, rather than learned the skills necessary to change the todays, have now impacted my future in that I am still struggling with being assertive and not setting boundaries. Some great example I have been!<P>I am becoming more aware of where I dodge addressing those thing I need to address. My stomach hurts like crazy, but I know I have to address these things. And I am haging onto the thought that each day it will get easier.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>ISA 41:13 For I am the LORD, your God,<BR> who takes hold of your right hand<BR> and says to you, Do not fear;<BR> I will help you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR><p>[This message has been edited by SueB (edited January 12, 2001).]

I'm up and most of the rest of the world is not, so I thought I'd busy myself by adding some excerpts from the book that S&L started here..."Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On" another book by Stormie:<P>Each time something is required of me that I'm certain I am unable to accomplish in my own strenght, I see a picture of just one or two steps being illuminated, while those before and after are engulfed in darkness and cannot be seen. This describes my walk with God. I trust Him for each day of life, grateful for every breath, determined to look for the blessing in the moment, no matter what the circumstances. I follow His lead--even when I can't see where I'm going, even when it scares me to do so.../pg 7<P>Chapter 2: "Beginning to See the Light"<BR>Our lives are touched by many different kinds of light. Sunlight and moonlight. Stoplights and spotlights. Firelight, city lights, candlelight, and lamplight. Headlights, night-lights, neon lights, and streetlights. Glittering and blinding lights. Confusing and deceiving lights.<P>All of these lights have one thing in common. They eventually go out. They're not reliable. They can never be the light we need to illuminate the path of our life. There is only one light that never goes out. It comes from God.<BR>It is God.<P>God's light is the true light. His light makes clear. All other light confuses. His light reveals the truth. All other light obscures it. His light brings us out of our blindness, and helps us see in a way we've never been able to see before. He says, "I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, and crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, and not forsake them (Isa 42.16). God's light penetrates darkness, and darkness cannot put it out.<P>Unless we follow the true light, we are being led into darkness.<P>In the years before I had a personal relationship with God, I walked in a thick darkness of depression, fear, anxiety, and despair. Everything I experimented with was a desperate search for something to light up my life. But I never found anything lasting. When I received the Lord I was not suddenly flooded with light, as some peope have described it. The light I saw was a glimmer of hoope. I compare it to sleeping in a dark room with a pinhole of light entering through the curtain and shining brightly in your eyes. It's a small light, but noticeably bright enough to awaken you if you've grown accustomed to the blackness of the room. The light of the Lord was that unmistakable to me because of the contrasting darkness of my life. Any more light would have been blinding. But because of my own bondage, the light was dim at the beginning of my walk compared to what it has become.<P>From that day on, I walked toward the light. There were times when I took a wrong turn and fell into sudden darkness, but I found it so shocking and repulsive that I quickly got back on track. The more I walked in the light of the Lord, the brighter it became until it lit up every part of my being.<P>I have heard people talk about near-death experiences where they saw a bright light. I don't doubt that they saw it. But I know that when we who believe in the Lord die, we won't see a light. We will see the light. We will see Jesus who is the light of the world. <P>The way to keep from following the wrong light is to not folow any light except for the light of Jesus. The world wants us to follow it's light. The devil wants us to follow his light. For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light (2 Cor. 11:14). We will encounter people who fancy themselves to be our savior and will want us to follow their light. But God does not have us follow a light. He has us follow Him. And He becomes our light. The more faithfully we follow Him, the more of His light we will have shining on our path. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men (Jn 1:4).<P>God's light is constant because He is constant. He is without change. His light doesn't grow dim or go out. If it appears to, it's because we have stepped out of the light of His presence. Although God is omnipresent, we must remember that there are degrees of the fullness of His presence we can enjoy and experience. He gives us as much of His presence as we are able to receive. Although His light never goes out, we sometimes do things that separate us from the fullnesss of His life and cause His light to appear dim in our lives. <P>King David was a man who went through some very dark times. Some of them were his fault (his immoral relationship with Bathsheba), and some fo them weren't (his volatile relationship with the jealous King Saul). In either case, David always knew that the light on his path came from God. He was still God's anointed no matter how dark it got. Even when he made bad choices, he had a heart for the Lord. And God never allowed him to be destroyed. (thru pg 23).<P>Dear Father, Please be with the ladies who come here to MB. Give them a good nights sleep resting in your peace and the shadow of your wings. Quieten our spirits and our minds. Refresh our bodies and minds for the week ahead. Prevent bad dreams from entering our thoughts while asleep and fill us with more of You. IJN. Amen.<BR>

s & L,<BR>I have had stormie's book on my shelf for months and got curious about it after you posted this. So this morning on the way out the door I grabbed it. It is awesome. I love it. I love the prayers I love what it focues on and i will share more later, but I am at work and must do some work. Thanks for starting this thread. God always knows what we need when we need it. Thanks for being His instrument.<P>hw

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>His light makes clear. All other light confuses. His light reveals the truth. All other light obscures it. His light brings us out of our blindness, and helps us see in a way we've never been able to see before.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I really like these words. All the more encouragement for us to stand still and firm when we are feeling confused, to wait patiently and expectantly on Him until the fog of confusion evaporates. I cannot begin to tell you the heartache and yet relief I am experiencing after finally giving my notice for my job. For 4 years, I have been blessed with the gift of providing childcare for 2 little boys (youngest was 6 months old when I started) <P>They have provided such joy in my life, filled the grandma hole, and allowed me to encourage the parents through some of the anxiety stages that parents go through. They have allowed me to correct some of the errors I made in my own parenting with my children and these boys are much more confident and sure of themselves than my children were at this age. I have felt a part of a team in nurturing these boys and they truly have been the only joy in my life at times when I allowed the evil one a foothold and stinking thinking controlled my mind.<P>At the same time, the older boy reminds me so much of my son who now has cancer that the pain of being unavailable to him while he battles this disease has been heart-wrenching. I have been feeling guilty about providing love and encouragement here and not providing it for my child. I have allowed fear of my H's response to my desire to be near my son during this time affect my decisions about what is right. <P>I have allowed the sin of self-reliance and pride, knowing that with my jobs (do other part-time work as well) I could support myself if my H and I parted ways. which was definitely not trusting God to provide for all my needs. (Can now see how I have allowed rationalization and denial to influence this. After all, God provided these jobs.... )<P>Waiting patiently for God to illuminate or make clear the steps we are to take definitely is an exercise in self-discipline and one of the characteristics He desires for us to learn and take hold of in our lives. <P>I do know that I am supposed to be with my son. I do know God is going to heal this marriage somehow. I now know that World Relief is moving its entire operation to Baltimore by next August and my heart burns in this area, so perhaps a door will be opened there if I am supposed to work. (They have a job opportunities list at their website if anyone is inclined in this area and wants to move to this part of the world.)<P>Thanks ladies for sharing these thoughts with us.

I thought I'd relate some of why the prayer thread and Enough Light for the Next Step material is so pertinent to me right now...<P>I'm single and 31 (never married). I've been dating a special guy (christian of course) since last March. Right now we aren't officially dating but we are "friends" and do things together. Things would seem lukewarm with Mark and while I sincerely love him a great deal I'm loosing my nerve. I can feel myself loosing my nerve. My gazing at God and glancing at other things including Mark is failing. I want to go into self-protective mode and I have a lot of bad dreams lately. Last night it was about how Mark is going to date someone else. Just waiting to be hurt and sticking in this vunerable state feels as if it is killing me at times, after all Mark has no committment to me-none that he acknowledges to me at least. <P>The question is do I trust God and hang in here? (I feel led to!) Do I trust God to show me my way or do I start running-running away from Mark, the vunerability and fear? That is the question. Or do I stay put (where God has me) and wait for more light to be shown to me before I move an inch from where I am? I fear more light will be more painful than I can imagine. Mark does not react or respond like me and so I cannot truly gauge his responses. But this is not truly about Mark. While this is not about Mark, IT IS ABOUT ME. I struggle and cringe at the thought that God is using Mark as an object lesson in all this and when the object lesson is done, will my heart be tossed away with the story? God is not so, but my emotions may certainly feel tossed aside and my heart and love may be thrown away by Mark. The issue here is not to entrust my heart to Mark, but the issue is to entrust my heart to God while submitting myself to the situation God has chosen for me. I need eye corrective surgery though (figuratively). My heart wanders and does not stay put on it's gazing!!!! God is more concerned about my heart than He is about my having a relationship with Mark. I could run (like my self-protective instincts are screaming!), but if I do I take my heart away from the surgical knife of my Father. My Father is only trying to help me. <P>I talk to my Father imagining a two-way conversation with Him. I imagine saying to Him, "...So, it's a good plan you have for me and it has a happy ending?", He nods. I know that my seemingly fictitious conversation is actually true conversation and not at all fictitious. <P>Keeping my heart under the knife anticipating the cutting is difficult especially for me who lacks any sort of patience. I want to know the end of the story. I have seen glimpses of my failings in the area of patience. Because I cannot separate my heart from this situation, God can use this situation. So my heart has to be entrusted to God's care. It cannot be entrusted to Mark's care. God does know what He is doing in my life and if I have to go through excruciating pain, well it will be to remake me better and I know I certainly need that. My fear of the knife will probably never go away and will definitely continue. I want so to react to Mark and this whole situation and thus be immature. I want to react by dating someone else (thus protecting my heart and emotions and giving me some emotional distance and perhaps positioning myself as well to try to control this situation for my own outcome), but doing so would feel very wrong since God wants my heart here. God wants me to entrust Him with my heart. That is what this whole exercise is for. <P>Sort of like Abraham and his son Isaac a little bit. Abraham had to entrust God with his heart in order to do in obedience what God had asked him to do-kill his own promised son whom he probably loved more dearly than life itself! Abraham had to entrust God emotionally because Abraham knew he would certainly be seriously messed up and hurtin' if he killed his own son (and yet he went forward trusting God-how could have Abraham faced tomorrow knowing he'd murdered his own son today?) and yet Abraham continued on the path of obedience! God did not kill Abraham's heart or have Abraham kill his son, but unmistakedly Abraham's heart had been set to gaze at God and glance at his own son whom he held most dear. Abraham's gaze was set aright! <P>My problem is that I am doing a miserable job of keeping my gaze on my Father! I keep glancing back at earth and continue looking until I am starry-eyed and lovestruck at Mark!(eventually coming back to hurting, disappointment and pain!) The good thing is that instead of reacting outwardly to my fears, I am living with them and struggling through this time and not removing my heart from the cutting table! FATHER, HELP ME!!!!! Help me to understand where You want me...be faithful to guide me, help me to understand what I need to understand, and help me to stay put and abide when you say stay. Our dogs can do as much--Father, help me to stay put when told to too! and to move where You lead when You lead too!<P>IJN, Another of your precious daughters, HM (I know You haven't forgotten me and that you CANNOT forget me for I am written on Your very heart and on Your most precious son who did die.)<p>[This message has been edited by Harmonious Melody (edited January 18, 2001).]

Wonderful and vulnerable post HM. Funny how God led me this morning to do the next stuff on the POPW thread. Seems he has us both in the surgical room and challenging us to trust him with the surgical knife.<P>You are in my prayers.

SueB,<P>You know, it's a very scarey knife, but He's so skillful! He will cut so precisely what is needed to be removed or remade so as to free us. It can be a painful journey and process though nodoubt. How wonderful it is to not have to feel alone from the rest of our family and to struggle along with our other sisters! Not that I wish the pain on anyone else, but that we walk the journey we each need to walk together is an encouraging comfort! <P>Thanks for all the encouragement you are so faithful in giving SueB!<P>HM

For the word of god is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires. It exposes us for what we really are. Nothing in all creation can hide from him. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes. This is the God to whom we must explain all that we have done.<BR>That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven. Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his merecy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it. Hebrews 4:12-16.

HM- This Focus on the Family Broadcast was for single or widowed women. Didn't know if you had heard it yet or if it would even be helpful in your situation. Hugs!<P> <A HREF="http://www2.oneplace.co/Ministries/Focus_on_the_Family/" TARGET=_blank>http://www2.oneplace.co/Ministries/Focus_on_the_Family/</A> <BR>

Bless you SueB. I heard pieces of it both days (yesterday and today) and right after the broadcast ordered the tape and book. I love reading so much but with school starting back next week I don't know how I'm going to read all the books I've accumulated here! I'm enjoying them though and growing where I'm at. I'm going to miss the leisure time I've had, but really am trying to keep my time with Him consistant and faithful-I need that refill/recharge every day and sometimes more often. <P>Thanks so much for thinking of me!!