First, the good news. I started today by reading Psalm 31 out loud. I felt almost perky for the first time in what seems like an eternity. <P>I address my question to hw because she mentioned being a student in the mental health field, but I welcome comments from everyone. Next Monday marks 4 weeks of my separation from my H. My intent was to retreat and regroup. I did quit smoking, which is a major accomplishment, but I've been distressed at my complete lack of energy. By the time I separated from H, I was depleted physically, mentally, and emotionally. <P>hw, do you have any insight on the effects of stress from a mental health standpoint? I sheepishly admit to spending inordinate amounts of time sleeping. I wonder if I've developed a sleeping disorder, if I'm clinically depressed, or if I really need all this rest. I'm trying to be patient, but my goodness, I need to rejoin the human race el pronto.

Lonesome,<P>Yes, both personally and professionally unfortunately.<P>A brief recap. My h met the ow almost 6 years ago. It has always been a long distance relationship and still is I think (though she comes to town about 2 weeks a month. Before he moved out he saw her a few times a year only. I knew from the beginning. Although we made many changes the secret life, romantic love, short times together, and an adolescent like relationship took him away. He moved out Sept 1999. <P>I started grad school a week before he moved out. We are mostly on friendly terms, but we also don't say much to each other at this point. The Lord has finally convinced me to "shut up and wait." He has also shown me that in trying so hard, I have turned it into an idol. He (God) will ask us, demand that we give up even good and our best things if they become more important than our relationship with HIm.<P>So this is where I am.<P>It sounds like stress may have turned into depression for you. Of course you need to see a family dr and a psychiatrist preferably. <P>Stress is debilitating. My memory is shot after 6+ years of stress, and lack of sleep. It actually changes your chemistry in your body and memory is greatly effected. <P>As far as sleeping too much it is probably a combination of being mentally exhausted and could very well be depression. Separation is such a horrible experience. I felt rejected, abandoned, devastated, stressed by starting grad school and all it's demands and dealing with a daughter that at 15 was moved to boarding school and a 9 year old who had been so close to her Dad. <P>Within two weeks my daughter went to boarding school, I went back to school full time after being a stay at home mom for several years, and dad moved out. My poor youngest daughter, she didn't have a clue about her dad and I and was upset enough with her sister and me being gone.<P>It took me until Nov until I finally realized that I had to be depressed. I just felt miserable all the time. When the antidepressants kicked in, I was still hurting, but I felt human again.<P>As it is I noticed at Christmas that things were getting hard again for me. I was sad and crying all the time (when no one could see) and I had trouble sleeping (the opposite) and I had no energy and was loosing interest in things I usually enjoyed. So I started upping the dosage slowly because they had given me the next strength by accident and i had some. I see my doctor on Monday. (The increased dose once a day kicked in this week and I am a much different person again).<P>So if you are depressed and sleeping alot is one of the symptoms, then go to a dr. I know antidepressants can be over prescribed but you are under tremendous stress and the symptoms are effecting your ability to conduct your life. If you are depressed they can help you to feel human again. They will not take all sadness away or all ups and downs but they will allow you to start to do the things you need to do every day to get along in life. <P>This is also such a difficult time for anyone. Depression is best treated with the combination of antidepressants and therapy. However, be careful about therapist, because depending on what you believe not everyone (even Christians) will support standing for a marriage.<P>I am standing for my marriage. I go to a large Christian Church and went to their counseling center. She never told me I should divorce or anything like that, but she always warned me to make sure I knew my rights in a divorce. Well, I believe that God wants me to stand for this marriage, and I really haven't checked things out. I also know that my h would be fair, I know not everyone has that confidence.<P>The big discriminator in whether to seek treatment or not is how much is it impinging on your ability to conduct your life. You say, "I have to rejoin the human race, el pronto," leads me to think that you are having difficulty getting things done, therefore see a dr.<P>If you are skeptical about medication, I always say to my patients if they are hesitant and I believe they really need it "If you have a headache you take an asprin, well, if you are depressed you take an antidepressant." The last patient I said that too laughed for the first time in weeks she said.<P>I want you to know though that what you are going through is a normal response to an extremely emotionally wrenching experience. My recommendations are based both on my limited clinical experience as well as personally going through it. That doesn't mean I know how this is effecting you, only you know that. <P>If you want to write me, I would be glad to discuss what ever with you. My email is singer412@hotmail.com. <P>You are in my prayers. God is still in this, and He has not abandoned you. He is the perfect husband and is able to fulfill all our needs. I don't know how it works, but He really does meet all my needs emotionally as well as concrete needs. It has taken quite some work on God's part to get me to this place of resting and trusting Him. I'm a bit of a slow learner.<P>Father,<P>I lift lonesome heart up into Your arms. Lord, she is hurting and the pain goes so deep. She is worn out and spent. Lord, give her strength in You. Lord give her hope and mercy. Father, I thank You that You do exactly this. For no matter what, "we can trust in you with all our hearts and should not lean on our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge You and You will make our paths straight." Proverbs 3:5<P>"For I know the plans i have for you," declares the lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.<BR> Thank You Lord for being there and hearing her cries and prayers. Lord give lonesome rest and lead her to the correct dr, who can listen and provide the right course of treatment. In Jesus name, Amen.<P>It has taken me a while to get diligent about it, but read the Bible. It is what will fill you up. Let His word nourish your spirit.<P>God Bless,<BR>hw<BR>

Thank you hw. I appreciate your response, and I hope it helps someone else down the line too. <P>I have just a few days left in the house where I'm staying. My out of town friend returns on Wednesday. In many ways, I feel like I've gone AWOL from the world during the last few weeks. I've taken a much need respite. I plan on returning home, even though I don't feel ready. I many unpleasantries awaiting me there. I'm hoping for those flying lessons to materialize that were mentioned in the other thread.

lonesome,<P>Trust the Lord, He is able to do anything!<BR>I will continue to pray for you.