Hi, I need some help, but first a little background (I've posted a few times in the GQII section)<P>I'm 32, I've got 2 girls (8 & 9) from a previous marriage. I've been in a relationship for over 4 1/2 years (we were engaged). A few months ago he decided he wasn't sure he was ready to be married, wasn't sure who he is, etc. We are still in contact, but not in a relationship at this time. He is truly a caring person, says he still loves me, he feels badly about how this is affecting me & what it's doing to my feelings for him, but it's something he needs to do/figure out for himself. He has loved my girls as his own, and they both grew very close to him-he was more of a father to them than their "real" father is. They miss him terribly, and so do I.<P>I've been doing a lot of soul searching and learning and see plenty of mistakes I made during our relationship. I see things about myself that I need to change or fix. Although this has been (and still is) very painful, I also see many good things that have already come out of it (a better relationship w/my parents, my girls, God-more about that later-, I've learned a lot about myself & relationships).<P>My parents brought me up in church and I continued to go through a portion of my adult life-but for the last 7 years or so I have not had much of a relationship with God. My situation now with Jim has brought me back. I've been "praying my head off" through this, reading my bible and books on relationships, many by Christian authors (Conway's).<P>As I'm sure you all know, my feelings fluctuate on a daily (sometimes hourly!!??) basis, from I love him & I can keep on loving him unconditionally thru this, to maybe this relationship was not meant to be forever, to feeling very uncertain about my future. These are all normal human feelings. I guess my question is - Does God want me to fight for/still believe in this relationship & this man?<P>I know that if we were married that He would want me to, but we weren't yet. However, we WERE a family, my girls adore him-I think I would have a hard time finding someone who would love them the way he has. I see many qualities in him that I admire, even through this (honesty, gentleness, caring, respect for me are just a few). He doesn't have much of a relationship with God, maybe I'm supposed to help show him? I just don't know. I want to follow God's plans for me, but I'm just so unsure of what they are and everytime I feel unsure about what He wants it's like I just "stall", I don't think about the changes in me I need to make, I don't think about anything other than "what am I supposed to do, what am I supposed to feel?". It's so immobilizing. I don't know if my doubts (normal human feelings, right) are God talking or just me.<P>I would appreciate your prayers for my daughters & I and also for Jim. I would also like to hear your opinions on my situation. I've laready found so much help from this site, and located this section recently and decided to ask for prayers & help. Thank you.<P>------------------<BR>"Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways." Proverbs 20:30

I think the biggest thing we have learned from this forum is that we work on changing ourselves into being the woman God desires for us to be. That this incident has brought you full circle into the arms of the One who has never left you is wonderful to hear. Spend this time seeking His face and learning about yourself as His daughter and what He would have you learn. <P>Learn about contentment in every situation. As you become more confident in yourself and continue to display the confidence and grace that God gives you, perhaps your Jim will notice and become curious about the changes in you and begin to hunger and thirst for the peace that you yourself will have. If so, then you have won him over for the Lord, if not, then you and your daughters have been spared much heartache. <P>We have a large thread about boundaries. We are beginning to dig through the power of a praying wife book (Stormie also has a Power of a Praying Parent book out) so dig with us to learn about yourself. There certainly isn't any reason that you can't pray those prayers from POPW book for Jim and then watch and see how God works in his life.<P>You really need to have that triangle with God at the top to have that strong marriage bond and not be unequally yoked. Will keep you in prayer.