Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of your today and have you in my prayers. <P>Thanks for your boundaries post-it does help to see things broken down and you've done a good job of breaking it down and clarifying. Thanks for all the encouragement you give and for your giving on this board!!<P>HM

Wow, gosh thanks, that was a blessing!I just figured the more we work through these together, the faster we will catch ourselves when we are in the situation. Continually checking ourselves as to what the goal is and how are we to get there, helps me to pace myself, kind of forces me to pay closer attention to my own behavior. <P>It is like...I am leaving in a week to be with my son (I will send you guys a different address so you have access to me) My brain says this should be a week of intimacy and closenessbecuase I am going to be gone awhile...but....once again quite the opposite is occuring. It truly is sad because for someone to admit fear of abandonmnet as my H does and whose behavior is pushing me right out the door saying yippee, I am going to be gone awhile... I do feel sad for my H inability to deal with his feelings in an appropriate way that would better get his needs met, not to mention mine in the process. We didn't get here in a day and it won't get better in a day either.<P>Thanks so much for the encouragement.

Dear Sue, <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>originally posted by SueB:<P><B>whose behavior is pushing me right out the door saying yippee, I am going to be gone awhile... I do feel sad for my H inability to deal with his feelings in an appropriate way that would better get his needs met, </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>This sounds like a good time to express that truth just that clearly. Will you tell him that you desperately want to feel connected to him, but that his behavior makes you feel so happy and relieved to be out of there for a break? Will you tell him now? On your way out the door? Or from the other town? (For me it would certainly depend on what response I expected and what the Lord was telling to do.) Just curious. <P>Fear of abandonment: that was why my H used to rage. I pounded it into him, loudly, nose to nose, that he was at no risk of abandonment. That under no circumstance would I file for the divorce unless he abandoned me. Because to him I looked "angry" by meeting his energy with equal strength, he respected it and believed me. LOL!<P>I'm praying for you today too.<P>Love,<P>Karenna