Everyones prayers have worked. My wonderful baby Abby is back home. She needs a bath and some rest. I still need to make sure she is ok. <P>Thank you so much.

Welcome home Abby! Paha, I'm happy for you. Pets are so wonderful.<P>How's the rest of your life?

Hi Bellevue,<P>Thank you for the welcome home for Abby. I think she is not doing too well. She needed a bath and is hidding. <P>I hope she likes living here. It was very cold last night so maybe she has a cold. I will watch her very close.<P>As for the rest of my life it is not so hot. I got laid off today. I guess I should be happy in one respect because I really did hate working there. Just hope I find something soon. I am not lucky enough to have a padding. I was working two jobs and that was not enough to pay all the bills. <P>I know something will come along. How are you doing?

I'm really glad Abby came home for you Paha. I hope the loss of your job turns out to be a blessing in the long run. <P>There's a book I've been revisiting as I rebuild my life from shambles. Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. If I had remained true to its principles, perhaps I wouldn't be a shambles right now. LOL I read it years ago and it helped me a lot. Maybe you'll enjoy it too. There's another book that looks promising too that I just started. Simple Abundance (don't recall the author offhand). This book talks about living your "authentic life" and how to get there. Good luck with your new direction.

Pahakissa1:<BR>The bad news is that I still need to come here to the Boards. And that my H and I are in therapy and he HATES it.<P>THe good newsis that we're all healthy. I really appreciate much of our lives. And we have a wonderful kid.<P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

I'm so glad that your baby is home!<P>My beautiful Earl Grey disappeared right before Thanksgiving and it broke my heart. It was during a big storm and I just hope he got disorientated and now has a new home somewhere, rather than something worse. I miss him.<P>However, two days before Christmas, my neighbors were driving back from our local dump and stopped by with a little present for me. It was three, 6-week old kittens someone had abandoned at the dump! They were soooooooo cute! I didn't think I really wanted three cats, but I just couldn't separate them. I named them Mele, Kaliki and Maka (Melekalikimaka is Merry Christmas in Hawaiian). <P>I too had been abandoned over this past year and I really related to them as this was my first Christmas alone....without my H. <P>They are doing well and getting to know my other babies, Samson and Delilah (black labs). <P>Keep the faith!<BR>Mrs.O<BR>

Lonesome -- Thank you so much for the book refrence. I will try and find them at the library. I have been following your posts on Emotional Needs. I do pray everything gets better for you.<P>Bellevue -- Glad to know everyone is healthy. You H might just hate having to face his own demons and what he did. Tony would rather not think about any of it in the hopes it will go away. I will pray for a change of heart from your H. All of this is very hard work.<P>Mrs O. Sorry about your cat. I know what it is like loosing a cat. Before Abby and Goliath we adopted a siamese named Sheek. We loved him with all our heart but we had to put him to sleep because he had cancer. The previous owner just abandoned him (sheek) in the house.<P>After he I had to have a cat. We went to the shelter and found Abby and Goliath. Both are brother and sister Persians. Again the previous owners just abandoned them. I can not understand that. I love them like they were my real babies. I cried the entire night over Abby. <P>I am sure the new kittens give you great joy.

Pahakissa1:<P>"You H might just hate having to face his own demons and what he did."<P>True. He is skeptical of counseling for himself, doesn't see the need, and avoids and refuses to talk about so many issues. THerefore it isn't helping him. As for facing what he did, technically he didn't "do" anything in the literal sense. He's still in the denial fog, still intoning the "I just stopped lying to myself, and I should never have told you the truth" mantra. You know, you've read it here: The BS rationalization. Rewriting history, magnifying incidents that prove the FS never loved them or they would not have done this or that. Backing up the time table for when they first realized they didn't feel anything for the FS.<P>"Tony would rather not think about any of it in the hopes it will go away. "<P>Yes. But it won't. It will fester and emerge again, worse.<P>I hope Abby is better.<P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Hi Bellvue,<P>Do I understand this correctly. Your H confessed and then has taken it back? What a pile of stuff. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. That makes the recovery much harder. How is the therapist handling this?<P>Abby is fine. She was not feeling well for a day. I think being out in the cold did it. All night I was worried because it got down to 7 degrees (F). Now she is back to her self. She was kind enough to wake me up at 6am this morning for some attention and demanding food. I pamper her and Goliath way too much but they really are my life line. I focus on them and their love when things get a bit too much to handle. Thank you very much for asking about Abby. <P>

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Pahakissa1:<BR>[B]Hi Bellvue,<P>No, hwhen he said he "told the truth" he meant the told me the "truth" about his lack of feeling, about his doubts, and his unhappiness.<P>What I see that he did was to have an EA, get way too deeply involved while pulling away from me, and lie to himself. The lying to himself is the kicker. I fell inlove with somebody who I believed had the highest integrity. <P>"What a pile of stuff. " Well, yes, it is a "pile of stuff". I recognize the syndrome of the WS re-writing the history of the marriage and the courtship, after coming here. So many WS say the same. We joke that they must have read the same manual. <P>People with pets live longer, you know. For me, having an animal in the room, even an indifferent animal, calms me down.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Hi Bellevue,<P>Does he admit his EA? Tony admits to all of his affairs. I guess I should be lucky about that.<P>How are you holding up to all the negative stuff he says? I have found it is hard to hear the same junk over and over again. Tony has said he thought I did not love him and blah blah blah...<P>I just try to take it from the source...someone who has no idea how they got into this and no way of knowing how to get out. Try and remember that... Once out of the fog he will be amazed that he said all the hurtful stuff. <P>Yes pets do help. The love they give such unconditional love. Except when they wake me up at 6am begging for their fancy feast. They act like they will starve to death. They are just too cute.<P>{{{{{{{{Belle}}}}}}}}}}}}}}