I'm really posting this without my wife present here with me, but we have talked about it so much in the last few days that I want to let you know how we are handling things. It's been almost 4 weeks now since she disclosed her affair to me and just 2 days since I disclosed mine to her. It was as painful for her to hear me say the things to her as it was for me to hear them from her. I don't know if I was prepared to hear her anger, hurt, and pain. It doesn't matter what type of affair we had. An affair is an affair. We betrayed each other. Neither of us have any withdrawal concerning OP. The differences in our other relationships primarily are hers was emotional in that she developed a realtionship with him that was a connection whether they thought they loved each other or not. They acted as though they did for over 2 years. It hurts me to think she could develop such a relationship with another man and still love me. She says she never stopped loving me and I can see the love in her for me now. I haven't seen it in years. She has always been caring and loving toward me. It hurts to think though that she possibly loved someone else and maybe more than she loved me because she could communicate to him things she couldn't with me. It doesn't matter where the fault lies. I'm as much to blame for her affair as I believe she was in mine. I believe my affairs were sexual only and have told her so. That doesn't make it any easier for her to accept. She thinks I put more emphasis on ber betraying me than I do on me betraying her. And, I told her I probably do, because she gave part of heart and soul to OM and I didn't give my heart to any OW. Maybe I didn't show it very well but as I told her she is the only woman I have ever told that <BR>"I LOVE YOU". I couldn't do that. Maybe I didn't show her enough then but, I will now. You can't expect forgiveness without first forgiving. You can't expect to receive love without first giving love. I promise you that we have had some hard times already and will probably have some later down the read. But, I know we love each other very much and we owe it to ourselves to make the most of what we have together. We have already shown that we can move forward. We just have to keep going and try to never look back. It is almost like we are dating again for the first time. A lot of wind is out of my sails and it is though I've been reborn. I think God works in many ways and although we have sinned in His eyes he has given us the opportunity to make something better of one of the most horrible pains one can endure. I am very thankful my wife loves me as much as I love her and we can forgive each other and move on. <BR>Thanks to all of you who have read, listened, and responded. We will keep you posted.
