hello all, <BR>things are not getting any better, lately I have been finding pictures of nude or near nude women on the computer that my h has downloaded I couldn't beleive it at first and tried to deny that he was looking at any sort of pornography, I never find any pornography sites in the history when I check, but I have been finding pictures here and there. When ever I find them I delete them from the heard drive, H has never questioned me about their dissapearance. Lord, I need strenght more now than ever. <P>my oldest son (he's 9) has been having a hard time all year at school and has had a hard time channelling his anger in appropriate ways. He is a very sensitive child, and because of this he has always been an easy target for being picked on. well...this year because of all the anger and fear he is feeling, when he gets picked on (feels attacked) he reacts by lashing out, and then he runs and hides, because he knows what he did was wrong. this week at school was the finall straw. Some boys in class were blaming him for something that he didn't do so he got mad and picked up a calculator and threw it across the room. It hit another student and my son was expelled. Now, I know what he did was wrong, but so were the other kids. and then the administrator wouldn't let me talk to my son alone first before she told me what happened, and when I asked my son what had happened, she butted in and told me rather than letting my son tell in his words, then she procedded to say that he was a danger to the other students, rather than that what he did was dangerous.she said this in front of my son. Like I said I know what he did was wrong and uncalled for, but I feel he is only living up to the administrators expectations, she has on more than one occasion told him that he was uncontrollable. Needless to say school is the only place where he ever has any problems. he does fine in church and family night, in sports and at home. Also the incident would never had happened if the other boys, (3 in particular) weren't allowed to harrass them, when looking at his record he has never instigated an incidence or done anything for no reason every incident has been a reaction to the harassment of the 3 boys that constantly pick on him, and apparently verbal harrassment is acceptable in school, I expected higher standards than that being that it is a private school. so...now we are at home and I am home schooling him for the rest of the year. Here is where I need the patience, our learning styles are not the same and I have a hard time explaining things in a way he can understand. week one down and things are going pretty well with the home schooling, lets hope/pray that continues as we get settled into a routine.<P>sorry to ramble on so, I was/am just so angry at the way my son has been treated, writing it all out has helped a little bit. please just pray for us. Thankyou.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Irene

You've touched a chord that is near and dear to my heart. I guess everyone has a soapbox to lug around in this life, and speaking up when things are wrong is mine. <P><begin soapbox><BR>If you truly believe that your son was mistreated, there is only one appropriate thing to do --- complain!! Your son endures the bullying of three boys? Why??? School is the only environment where son exhibits inappropriate behavior? Why?? At what point did son have an opportunity to state his side of the story? If it was never allowed, the administrator's treatment of the situation should be challenged. <P>When something is wrong, it will continue being wrong until ways of thinking are challenged, and sometimes that means complaining. If your son's behavior was a reaction to being bullied, I'd like to know what will happen to the three bullies ... and their next target. And what about special needs? Do one or all of the bullies have special needs that aren't being addressed (ADD for example)? What about your son? Does the school have an obligation to search out these needs? Perhaps they are already aware of such needs? And if they do have such an obligation, has that obligation been met??? <P>This is the picture I have of your story. Your son was bullied. He reacted in anger and got expelled. You are saddled with homeschooling duty, the bullies stay in school, and someone else becomes their target. What's wrong with this picture? A lot! The decision to expel deserves questioning and scrutiny. If I'm reading your story right, I hope you stomp back to that administrator's office, ask some tough questions, and don't leave until you have answers. <BR><end soapbox><P>S&L, I pray that you can know is best for your son. I pray that his anger can be addressed and defused. I pray that everyone involved in the situation will learn an important lesson and that all will work out for the best. <BR>

Thankyou for the encouragement. I will be going before the school board with my case (with the support of another parent who also agrees this is wrong). pray for me, this will be very hard, especially since two of the bullies parents are on the school board themselves. I hate all these private school politics. <P>my son has now been home with me a week and we are doing absolutely wonderful homeschooling so far, hopefully this will continue as we settle into our new routine. I have had exactly 0 angry outbursts since we have been out of school. hmmmm, isn't that a coincidence. <P>The administrator seems more interested in an easy fix to the problem, rather than taking care of it at the roots, a freind of mine who has 3 children attending the school with mine is very upset with the situation, she also has a boy my sons age in my sons class who is bullied by the same boys. she is going to stand with me against this treatment, and if it is not resolved satisfactorily she has told them she will not be re-enrolling next year. Her son is the next target. <P>I have decided that no matter the outcome I will continue to home school my son for the rest of this year and then we will play it by ear. Just this past week we have started to build a wonderful relationship together, more than just that of mom and son, but teacher and student, and friend to friend. I would not trade this past week for the world even if I had the option. <P>God works in mysterious ways and maybe this is one way God is letting me know that my son needs me more right now, and that I need to spend more time with him and more than just his mom.<P>Thanks for your prayers.<P>------------------<BR>Irene

Hi Irene, about your first issue...<P>I use an Internet filter with my own password. Now he can surf a little, but not to a sex or porn site. The other night I found a bunch of links to porn saved on the Favorites. Just about puked. So I put the filtering back in. And made a religious site my default home page. There are even filters that involve a live person online checking the content for you, that are really good if you have children using the computer at all.<P>If H wants to bring porn in, he can buy his own computer.