I started reading "The Power of a Praying Wife" last evening and I'm stuck. While I consider my self "a born again Christian" I can't seem to forgive the Other Woman. How do I do this? I've forgiven my H, but that was easier because I know him and have loved him for over 30 years. But the OW is someone that to me has taken something very precious from me. Even though my H and I are together and D-day was over 3 years ago, we have not moved on. I've tried taking care of this by myself but have failed. I thought I had given it to God and I probably have, but have not been able to move ahead with my marriage because of my failure to "forgive" her. I don't hate her, but this woman is in my thoughts continually. I truly do want to pray for my H and my marriage. I just don't know what to do about my feelings about this OW. I have never felt like this about anyone in all of my 52 years. I will keep asking God to help me get over these feelings, but have any of you been in this situation. Thanks.<P>I thank God that I have found this place. I have had this book for about a year, but now I have someone to share with.

Wow, I came here this morning and I'm posting for the first time, but you are in exactly the same place as me.<BR>I started reading this book 3 days ago, and I'm stuck too.<BR>I realized I am so hateful and unforgiving of the other woman, even though my husband and I are doing great. Not a day has passed that I don't think of her, and I've never even met or seen her. She has never tried to contact us.<BR>But, how can I forgive her? In my husband's case, it was easy to forgive because I love him and I understand how he made this mistake. But I know nothing about her and her motives. I wish the worst for her, and I know this is not how God wants me to be.<BR>I guess we can just keep praying that God will change our hearts.<BR>JGD

JudyJ and JGD,<BR>Forgiving the "ow" is by no means easy. it takes lots of time and effort. The only way you can is by the power of Christ. Pray daily for God to give you the ability to forgive her, and as hard as it is it is helpful to start praying for her, the bible says to pray for our enemies.(easier said than done) I sometimes think it would be easier if I never knew who or what she looks like, compared to my H the "ow" is a baby, almost half his age. she even has her own web page, wish I could keep it from my computer. Her picture is etched into my memory forever and satan likes to remind me of it constantly. it is at those times when I can't get her out of my head that I start praying first for God to forgive me for my unforgiveness and then for the ability to completly forgive her, and finally I pray that God would bring someone into her life and show her the way to Christ. I still have not completly forgiven her, that I know is true, but as time passes, I do find it easier to pray for her. Healing takes time, and as I heal I can start to forgive, lately I have even been able to praise God for this disaster in my life. No matter what happens with my H and I now (we are still havening many problems and he still refuses to admit he has done anything wrong) through this ordeal I have grown closer to Christ and have a much deeper, meaningful relationship with Jesus. so as bad as it is, I guess you could say it has been worth it. <P>Remember, God works all things together for good.<P>Lord, <BR>Please help each and everyone of us in the area of forgivness, it is not easy. Help us to embrace our relationships with You and to learn to rejoice in all things. Help us to Forgive those who have wronged us. Lord send people into the lives of those women who have lured our husbands from their homes. help them to see that what they have done is wrong and to repent from their sins and seek your forgiveness for themselves. All this I ask in Your precious name. AMEN<BR><P>------------------<BR>Irene

Presume innocence. Life is so much easier when you think the best about other people. Even if sometimes even the best isn't all that good! <P>OW never made vows to you. She didn't betray you.<P>You don't know what she knew and when she knew it.<P>Your life will be much more peaceful when you presume the best in every situation. As understandable as your H's actions were, let hers be 10 times more "understandable" because she didn't have any committment to you to violate. She may have loved your H, but isn't that "understandable" in light of how much you love him, and want to keep him and forgive him? "Understandable" temptation?<P>Let the Lord be the judge of her heart. Just assume she was silly, ignorant, misguided, or whatever. The chance that she did it on purpose JUST to hurt <B>you</B> is less than microscopic. Her actions were not about you. Can you say for certain the same about your H?<P>Visualize her as a sweet little three year old too. Forgive her naughty "inner-child" for its mistakes which messed up your life. You never know when you might come to need such forgiveness yourself!<P>Peace and blessings!<p>[This message has been edited by Karenna (edited May 11, 2001).]