Well, here we go.<P>I take the state social work certification exam on Monday 4 June at 8:00 am EST. Please pray that I am calm, confident and open to the Lord. <P>Also, the big week is here. We meet with a mediator on Wed morning at 9:30 am EST. She said I didn't need to bring anything with us so I guess this will be a talking session for 1 1/2 hours. Could be interesting.<P>I will not initiate and this could cause problems. Please pray with me that I leave God in the center of my marriage, that I do not get flustered but if I feel like crying let my emotions show. <P>I pray that God will prepare and open my h's heart and that Jesus is able to get through to him. God said to put Him in the middle, that is where God has finally gotten me to: trusting Him for the outcome and getting on with my life and seeking Him with all my heart until He is ready to return my redeemed h to the wife of his youth and his family. <P>So I ask that you say a prayer for preparation as I get ready mentally for this and then for wed morning. I pray that I can remain calm and looking upon Jesus face during the entire session. I pray most for God's will to be carried out not mine or my h's or even the mediator's as far as that goes.<P>hw<P>

HW,<BR>I will add my prayers to yours. I had so hoped things would be much better for you. But you sound strong and your faith is an inspiration to me.<P>God bless you, and good luck<BR>kim<BR>(emptynomore)

Thank you so much Kim,<BR>Well, one down, I passed the CSW exam so I am now a certified social worker, Yeah!! I almost cried when I was done, all that stored up emotion and anxiety, but I'm doing much better this evening. <P>Now, just the mediation to face this week. <P>How are you doing emptynomore?

GO HW GO! <P>Doing the happy dance in the chair right now for hw!

AW,<P>Thanks for your support!!<P>divorce mediation went all right, but I didn't say too much, I was just so hurt. But I think next week I will have more to say.<P>I'll write you in a little bit. Thanks for your prayes, although I was sad and hurt I knew God was with me and I was calm and had peace.<P>

How did the mediation go?<P>

Karenna,<P>How are you? It is good to hear from you.<P>It was the pits, but actually not too bad. It was hard to hear the man you love say that he hasn't really wanted to be married after the 2nd year of 24 years. This is not something new, but I didn't feel like getting into it and so I just listened. i guess afterwards, maybe I am coming out of denile, I just thought, "you know I love this man and I do not want this marriage to end, but right now I don't like the way he treats people; me, the kids and strangers on the street." So where does that leave me? I'm not sure.<P>It boils down to we divide everything up and set up a separation agreement. Then there are two paths. If someon has cause, they become the plaintiff and the divorce is filed. It takes about three months from then. Or if there is no cause, then once the separation agreement is put in place about in about three months then we liv apart for 1 year and then he can file. At that point it takes 3 months to complete. We didn't talk about the course at all. <P>I believe I am the only one with cause and i haven't decided whether I will file. I do not really want to, but I'm not sure what the advantage is to waiting at this point. I understand the ow is moving in on Aug 1st and they are looking for a bigger place because she wants all her stuff and it won't fit into his place.<P>I was pretty numb and didn't say too much. Next week we will talk about parenting issues. This could be interesting because the kids are old enough to have some say in visitation. The youngest is still adament about not wanting to meet the ow and doesn't like going to daddy's place. If we move about an hour and a half from here then I would think he would want the youngest to come to his place every other weekend, which she would not go for at this point. He has hardly seen her in the last several weeks and went to CA with the ow for a week and is missing her dance recital. He never did tell her himself and he didn't tell her how long he would be gone. He told the older one a week and his cell would be on so she could reach him. But his cell phone has not been on. I guess he went for business and then they are either visiting her brother or perhaps he is introducing her to his mother. Actually she has met her briefly but maybe they are going to meet her for a longer time.<P>I am having somewhat of a hard time with this and I have so much to do.<P>I need to find a job and deciede to move and find a place etc..... Too much all most. At least I passsed my CSW exam and that will help job wise.<P>I am trusting God. Tomoroow our church women's group is having a prayer breakfast at my house. So today is clean the house day. It really needed it. So i'd had better get back to it.<P>Thanks for asking, Karenna, and thank you for keeping us in prayer.<P>hw